The Affair
by johnnyboy7
Summary: After the death of her father, Isabella Swan moves to the East coast where she meets dentist Edward Cullen. He's older, a father, and married. Sometimes, you can't tell your heart who to love.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

* * *

My feet hurt like a bitch, a product of this morning's hard run on the treadmill. It also doesn't help that I have on heels a couple inches higher than they needed to be.

I check the silver watch on my wrist.

_11:30..._

When is this dentist going to be ready? I've already been waiting for over an hour. This is ridiculous. I look around. Waiting with me are mothers brining their children for checkups and teenagers lamenting the fact that they have to wear braces.

I run my tongue over the pearly whites inside of my mouth. I do that sometimes when I'm bored, and I'm so bored right now, I do it again.

This is unacceptable.

I stand, tucking the small clutch I'm carrying into the crook of my arm as I walk up to the reception area.

"Excuse me," I say. "I had an appointment at 10:30."

The receptionist was an older woman and clearly overwhelmed with the day's demanding schedule. Pieces of hair fall from her loose ponytail, "I'm so sorry. Dr. Cullen had emergency surgery this morning and all of his patients had to be pushed back. We can reschedule if you needed to leave."

She keeps apologizing to me while I resist the urge to roll my eyes. I'm usually not so hostile, but I have to meet my mother today for lunch, and it always puts me in a bad mood. Plus, my cat snuck out of the house, got hit by a car and died this morning, so I'm not at my best.

"Do you know how much longer he will be?" I ask, tempering my voice so that I don't scare the woman with my tone.

Before she can answer, a dental technician opens a door in the corner and yells my name, "Isabella Swan."

"I'm here!" I raise my hand like I'm in class and rush towards her, my heels clicking.

The entire office seems to be in an apologetic mood, and the technician says she's sorry for the wait. I wave her off like it's no big deal. But it is a big deal. I'm going to be late to lunch, and I can already hear my mother's voice in my head berating me for making her wait.

I walk down a pristine hallway, following the lady carrying my dental chart. Offices surround us on both sides. I can see dentists of all types working on teeth. Does anyone really enjoy going coming here? I don't.

She leads me to a room and opens the door. "The dentist will be with you in one second, honey. You're a new patient of ours so he'll ask you a few questions before he begins your exam."

"That's fine. Thank you." I sit in the plastic chair that leans back. It's hard to maneuver in my short, navy pencil skirt and crisp button down white shirt, but I manage well enough. I set my clutch on my lap and wait.

Birds are chirping outside. I wish I could hear them better, but the window is shut. I can only imagine how the warm April air must feel. Unfortunately, I have been stuck inside longer that I should have been.

I get mad all over again at the dentist for making me wait.

I cross my legs at the ankles to wait some more. Who does he think he is? I check my watch. So rude. I flip my brown hair over my left shoulder so that it flows down and begin to play with the ends. It's a bad habit, but I'm bored. As I've already said.

I wait some more.

The door opens and Dr. Cullen comes in. His name tag is proudly displayed on the front of his white lab coat. He's reading my chart in his hands and has yet to look up. I see that he's tall. _Really _tall.

My anger dissipates slightly.

He mutters to himself. It intrigues me. What is he saying?

I take him in more. He has a wild hairstyle that I have never seen before. A mixture between bed-head and perfectly gelled. It's also a strange color. Almost golden, but not at the same time. It doesn't make sense to me. What the hell color is that? I'll think of it later.

His face is porcelain and clean of any stray hairs. No five o'clock shadow. He has on glasses. Black-rimmed, but not thick. Probably just for reading.

Dr. Cullen looks up when he sits down. He sees me for the first time. He seems taken aback for some reason.

He clears his throat. "Isabella Swan, I presume?"

His voice is smooth and low. Masculine and forceful.

"Yes. That's me." I sit up straighter.

He stares at my chart again, pulling a pen from his pocket. "It says here that you just moved from Seattle? May I ask who referred you to us?"

"My old dentist, Dr. Gerandy. He said you were well respected on the east coast, so here I am." I smile, trying to flirt, but not at the same time. He seems older, not sure how much older than me, but older for sure. I don't want him to think I'm an immature child.

I have carefully crafted every aspect of myself to appear older; my wardrobe, my hair, my voice. I've always done that. I hate being considered young. Then I realize that he can read my age from the chart.

_Damn._

His lips pull up a little. He doesn't look at me fully, but I can see him peeking. "He said I'm well respected? I'm honored."

"He's been doing my teeth for years, so I was a little hesitant to leave." I feel like I can speak freely around Dr. Cullen. There's no awkward patient/doctor lulls.

"And what exactly made you leave fair Seattle, too much rain?" He gets up from his seat and walks over to the small sink on the wall to wash his hands.

"My father died a couple of months ago and left me a large amount of money. I decided to move out here, closer to my mother."

He stills for a second, taking in what I just said.

I want to smack myself.

I'm a very blunt person and always have been. It doesn't bother me, but it makes meeting people very strange. They don't know how they should react to me. Sentences like, "My father died a couple of months ago..." should be handled with care. From my mouth, the words just flow.

"I shouldn't have said that." I sigh.

"Well, I'm sorry about your father." He snaps on a pair of chalky white gloves and puts on a mask that covers up his beautiful pink lips.

"We weren't that close," I say truthfully, and lean back in the chair as it reclines.

"Sorry about that as well. A father's relationship with his children is important."

Dr. Cullen stares down at me. He doesn't ask me to open my mouth so I don't. I just look up.

The mask cuts off half his face, but the best half is left for me to ogle. His eyes. God, his eyes. So vibrant and green. I have a dress that color. I don't think I've unpacked it yet, but I suddenly want to find it.

His gaze is intense. Does he look at all his patients this way? If so, some might consider it a little inappropriate. Not me, but some.

"Do you have any kids?" I ask, breathing for the first time.

"Yes," he answers.

"Oh." I nod.

"Open," he mutters harshly.

"Excuse me?" I ask, as if I didn't hear him. I just want to hear Dr. Cullen command me to 'open' again.

He repeats it, his voice softer this time. He blinks his eyes and exhales.

I open my mouth and wait. Seems like that's all I do here. Wait.

Dr. Cullen picks up some tools on the side of chair and holds them in front of my face, at the ready. I see his Adam's apple bob as he swallows.

"You have a very nice mouth," he says, his words muffled by his face mask.

Was that sexual? Maybe a little too sexual? I don't know. I don't usually feel awkward, but this is bordering on it a little. It makes no sense to me.

I laugh. A soft laugh that I wasn't expecting.

"Your gums are spectacular. Healthy teeth and you floss. That's a rarity in these times. Most young people just brush or use mouthwash," he continues.

So his comment wasn't sexual? Just medical.

His tools pick inside of my mouth. I have very good teeth, so I'm proud of them. Dentists love me.

He works, speaking to himself about bicuspids and molars. It's very sexy. I look at his eyes the entire time. They're wild with wonder and move quickly. It's obvious that he's passionate. About his work.

He retracts his tools, and the chair begins to lift up. He removes his mask, and I can see his lips again. They're very nice for a man. Full, but not too plump.

"So, you're looking quite good," Dr. Cullen says. He writes in my chart.

I check the clock on the wall. I'm late, but I don't care anymore.

"I need a teeth whitening treatment," I say, speaking out of turn.

"Yes, I see you're scheduled for it. I can have one of the technicians do it."

"No, I want you to." I sound like a child and nearly smack myself again, but the words tumbled out. No shame.

Dr. Cullen looks at me strangely, but nods after a second. "I haven't done one of these in years. Not since school."

He chuckles and it's beautiful. So deep and throaty.

I smile. "Sorry. I'm just very particular with my teeth. I don't let anyone mess with them."

"I can see that." He quirks an eyebrow. Does he wax them? They're perfectly arched. I'm a little jealous.

Come to think of it, I'm jealous of a lot about him. His lashes are dark and long. His cheek bones and nose are perfect. His complexion is clear.

It took years of buffing for me to look like that. I guess my teenage years were hasher than his.

"Alright, well, let's get to this." He claps his glove-covered hands together. He's excited to have me open my mouth again. I can tell.

The chair reclines. He replaces his mask and gathers his tools. He places one of those itchy, clip on bibs around my neck.

"Wouldn't want you to get wet," he explains, as if I don't know what it's for.

He starts spraying water and using his tools to pick at my teeth again. Then the whitening begins. I do this about four times a year, so I know the drill. It's more than just a cleaning. I wanted bright teeth. Healthy and nice to look at.

"So since you're new, I'm going to ask you a few questions, if that's alright with you?" he asks.

I nod.

"They'll be 'yes' or 'no' so you don't have to strain to speak." He begins to apply the gel to my teeth, brushing them gently.

I nod.

"So you said you moved to the east coast after your father died. Do you like Boston so far?"

I nod and smile a little.

"I was born and raised around here. I can't even think about living anywhere else."

He's so beautiful. Leaning over me and speaking with his eloquent voice. It's almost too much for me. It usually takes a long time for me to feel like this around a man.

I cross my legs again subtly. I don't want Dr. Cullen knowing that I'm hot over him.

"Are you in school?" he asks, continuing to work on my teeth.

I shake my head 'no'.

He doesn't reply or ask any other questions until he's through. My mouth tingles all over, and it feels a lot cleaner.

His foot presses on the pedal that raises the chair. "You're all done."

He hands me a mirror, and I smile brightly. He did a good job. "Wow. Thank you so much."

I hate that when I talk to him, I sound so immature. I really am trying to speak wisely, but he's making me nervous, which I'm not used to.

"Well, it was nice meeting you. You can infer with the receptionist about making another appointment." Dr. Cullen gets up abruptly and is gone from the room.

I'm thrown for a loop. It was so quick. What happened to good bedside manner?

I collect myself quickly, grabbing my purse and standing up on wobbly legs, racing out of the door.

I look to my left and right. I see him walking down the hall, his head bowed. I bet he was muttering to himself again.

I chase after him like a madwoman. "Dr. Cullen."

He stops, but doesn't turn. I quickly race in front of him. He doesn't seem mad or annoyed, but his face is certainly taxed. Why? Did I say something? Me and my stupid mouth.

He has taken his glasses off. I'm almost not prepared for the brightness of his eyes. It's too much.

"It was nice meeting you." I hold my hand out to shake his.

He looks me up and down, his eyes trained on each of my limbs. I can see his face heat in a blush. What is he thinking? I shift on my pumps, my body slightly moving.

He snaps back, "Yes, yes. Of course. You as well. I hope you like your new home and please don't hesitate to call if you need anything."

He takes my hand. I notice that his palm is huge. Not surprising considering how tall he is. Even in my heels, he towers above me. His hand is smooth, and his fingers are long. He engulfs me.

"You have a loose molar on your right upper quadrant." His words are short, as if he didn't mean to say them. He exuded such grace and poise in the exam room, but now he was unsure of himself.

"Is it something serious?" I say, hearing this news for the first time. No one has ever complained about my teeth.

"No. I just noticed it. Shouldn't be anything to worry about." He still has my hand in his.

"Okay, well again, thank you."

"I just thought you should know." He smiles, but not fully. He's cute like this. He was sexy before, really intense, but now he's sweet. I can handle Dr. Cullen this way.

As I slip away from his grasp, I can't help but feel the cold piece of metal that's wrapped around the fourth finger on his left hand. I look at it quickly while he's not paying attention.

A wedding band.

It's solid gold and shiny. I can see an etching on it, but can't make out the words. It's been resized. I can tell by the small soldering outline. He's had it for a long time. Long enough for him to need it enlarged as the years went on.

Well, this might present a little problem.

* * *

**A/N:** Hello, all! Welcome back to my crazy mind. I hope you've all been doing well. I know I've been MIA for the past couple of months, but with school finishing up and starting work, I haven't had a lot of time to devot to FanFiction.

But here I am with a story. Just to warn everyone, the subject matter is shady, obviously.

Hope you all enjoy. As always, much thanks is given to my beta Jeny0719. She's been there through thick and thin, correcting me all the way. She has lots of stories on the site that are fairly popular. Check them out if you're looking for something to read.

Any new readers, you can certainly follow me on twitter johnnyboy1029.

Leave me a review and tell me what you think. I would love to hear from you guys. And for those reading TWBF, the last epi will post later today.

As always, everything Twilight related belongs to SM.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

* * *

Lunch with my mother is a trying experience.

She's so much to handle and one time. She's overbearing and meddling. She's loud and the complete opposite of me, but I know she cares about me.

I didn't grow up with her, but we've gotten closer as the years went on.

I went to boarding school in Switzerland, meaning that I never actually lived with either of my parents for a long amount of time. They had divorced when I was little, so any time spent in the States was divided amongst them.

Charlie lived in Washington, but never made me feel like I was obligated to visit him, which I rarely did. I loved him, but we never had anything to talk about. Now that he's dead, I kind of wish we spent more time together, but I can't change the past so I don't dwell on it. He left me most of his entire fortune from the software company he created years ago, which was _a lot_.

I've invested most of the money, but there was still a lot left for me to keep.

Renee is more of a free spirit. She's a painter now, and a rather famous one at that. She lives in New York mostly with her art dealer/husband, Phil. I like him, but don't care enough to invest myself in their relationship.

I was always so mature for my age, even as a child. Growing up away from my parents only made me more independent, and I loved that about myself. I enjoyed going to school abroad and think it was a great experience for me, but I sometimes wish I could talk to my mother like other daughters did.

Renee and I are... detached, for lack of a better word. We don't fight, but I never really let her into my life enough for us to have any meaningful conversations.

Then again, I could barely spend an hour at lunch with her, so meaningful conversations might be a little too much for our relationship.

I drive home from the restaurant, looking at the surrounding Boston skyline.

I chose this city because it was somewhere I had always wanted to live. Not as big as New York, but still a lot of hustle and bustle. It's eclectic and young and vibrant. I needed that when I moved back here.

I thought about staying in Europe or the West coast, but I wanted to be closer to my family. It just felt like I was missing too much when I was away.

I also thought about going to college, but schooling in Europe was different than it is here. After high school, no one really goes off to a university to study right away. They take time off and think about their lives. They wait to see what they really want to do.

I was so confused as to why Charlie kept pushing me to come back here for college, until I realized he was raised that way. High school, then college, then grad school, then work...for the rest of your life. One right after the other.

I didn't really want college right now. It wasn't in my immediate future either. I was smart. _Really _smart, or so my test scores said. Schooling would always be an option, but just not now.

With Charlie's inheritance, I purchased a townhouse in the Beacon Hill area. The rich area. It was four floors and had high ceilings with crown molding that the realtor explained had been around since the Revolutionary War.

My neighbors were elderly women who had lived in their houses for years, their husbands dying off decades ago. When I introduced myself, they both told me that the neighborhood was filled with older people who could afford the payments.

They were trying to figure out how a girl of twenty-two, who probably looked younger, could afford a place nicer than theirs.

I didn't tell them that I paid for my house in full and was thinking about buying their properties as well once they died off. I just dropped my baked goods in their hands and told them to call if they needed anything.

I pull my car into the small driveway of my townhouse and then jump out.

Inside, I take off my heels and strip out of my clothes. I'm nearly naked by the time I get up two flights of stairs to my room. Boxes are still unpacked and clutter is filing the place up. Years of my life, scattered all around my new house.

I drop my clothes on the bed and then walk to the bathroom. I nearly collapse into my marble shower. Today has taken a lot out of me. Renee, for one. But Dr. Cullen, as well. That man...What was his first name? Did he ever tell me?

I think about what it could be while I wash the day from my body.

My skin is slick with soap and I make a mental reminder to get a massage. Hands on my limbs feel good. Even if they're my own hands. I wish they were somebody else's. I don't let myself think about who exactly. Just somebody. Anybody. A man.

It's been too long.

I get out of the shower and dry myself off. The phone is ringing in the other room so I rush to get it, wrapping the towel around my body.

"Hello," I answer.

"_Hi, Bella! How's Boston?" _The voice of my step-sister Rosalie replies. She's Charlie's second-wife's daughter from her first marriage, but has been my best friend for years.

"Hey," I sink into my therapeutic mattress, letting it swallow me whole, "I was wondering when you would call."

"_Emmett told me to let you get settled. But two weeks is far too long. I miss you," _she whines.

I laugh at her antics. She's older than me, but has always been the young one in our relationship. "I miss you, too. I haven't even unpacked yet. The boxes keep piling up."

"_I'll be there soon to help. We can make a party out of it." _

"I can't wait." I roll my eyes.

"_How are you doing... after Charlie?" _She whispers as if the subject is taboo.

"Rose, I'm fine. Stop worrying about me." It's the truth. I really don't feel too sad about his passing. I did six months ago, but not now.

"_Okay, we'll discuss it later." _Rose doesn't believe me.

She always thinks I'm hiding my feelings behind too many walls. She's wrong, but there's no convincing her otherwise.

We talk for an hour about mundane things; her husband Emmett, work, fashion, movies. It's always the same, but I enjoy it.

I hang up and sigh.

It's still early in the afternoon, but I'm tired so I take a nap. I wake up a couple hours later and make a small salad for dinner. Then I sleep again.

I try to unpack as the days go on.

I wake up at seven on a Friday and put on yoga pants along with a t-shirt. I only dress this way when working out. I get in my car and make the short drive to the gym near my house.

It's upscale with homemakers and businessmen, exercising before the day. I run an hour on the treadmill and then stretch out my body on the yoga mats. I see a couple of men checking me out. It's exciting but I don't see any suitable prospects.

I drink a whole bottle of water on my way home and then race up the stairs for another shower.

I eat a granola bar as I dress. Today, I decide on a summery, pastel, floral print dress that flows down to my knees. It's cool and breezy, perfect for the day. I slip on cream colored heels and switch purses so that everything matches. My makeup is spotless and my hair is perfect. As always.

I'm out of the door and on my way into another part of the city. My mother has a couple of paintings at the Museum of Fine Arts, which I have yet to see. I promised I would go take a look before they take them down. Renee went back home last night, so I'm thankfully going alone.

It's only ten in the morning, but surprisingly crowded. Tourists and school trips seem to enjoy museums. I pull up to the front of the giant white stoned building where a valet takes my Range Rover and hands me a ticket slip.

I thank him and then climb the large stairs until I'm inside. There's a patron waiting for me at the door and somehow recognizes me immediately.

"Hello, Ms. Swan." He shakes my hand. "I'm here to guide you around the museum so that you can see your mother's exhibit."

"Thank you. Sorry I'm late," I say even though it's only five minutes. I hate being late.

"It's not a problem." He leads me through the throngs of people at the entrance.

He points out the Impressionists wing, and the modern wing. All things I've seen before in Chicago or New York or Paris. I do enjoy the outdoor gardens and sculpture work, though. I promise myself to come back tomorrow when I have more time to browse.

"Here we are," the man says, waving his arm around a large room. My mother's artwork is on the walls, hanging proudly.

"Wow. I haven't seen most of these." I walk around, weaving slowly through some of the spectators.

The patron's walkie-talkie goes off, altering him to a situation. He apologizes to me and asks if I'll be okay alone for half an hour. I wave him off and tell him that I'll be fine.

I take my time, perusing the work. I'm not sure if Renee has a style, but people seem to like it. She has a unique imagination and it translates well on canvas.

Ten minutes later, I feel eyes on me and turn around to look around the room. No one seems to be doing anything out of the ordinary so I ignore it. The feeling comes back a couple minutes later, but again, I come up empty with my suspicions.

I stand in front of a large blue painting. It could be the sky or it could be the ocean. Renee would never tell me the details of her pieces. She says you're meant to come to your own conclusions.

As I stand, I see a tall man with blonde hair out of the corner of my eyes. He is close and then steps closer.

I turn to look at him and see that he's looking at me.

"Hello," I say. This is strange.

"I'm sorry for being so rude, but I know you from somewhere. I just can't put my finger on it."

Is he trying to flirt with me? Or is he serious? I can't tell.

"I don't think we know each other. I just moved to Boston and don't have any friends in the area." I smile politely.

His brow furrows and then realization dawns on his face. He snaps his fingers. "Yes! I remember now. I saw you last week, at my office. I'm Jasper Whitlock."

"Hello," I repeat, still confused.

He grabs my hand and shakes it vigorously like we're old friends. "I'm partners with Edward Cullen. We're dentists. You were in last week, weren't you?"

_Cullen. Edward? That's his name? _

"Oh, of course. I've never met you, but I have your business card in my purse. Yes, I know Dr. Cullen."

"I knew I recognized you." He seemed very proud of himself for remembering me. "Gosh, that was going to bug me until I figured it out. I'm sorry if I was being creepy."

"No, it's fine. I sometimes do the same thing. I'm Isabella Swan."

"Nice to meet you. Are you enjoying your time at the museum?"

"Yes, very much. These are my mother's pieces." I look around the room.

"Really? That is impressive. She's an artist?"

I nod. "I promised I would see them while they're still up. I'm coming back tomorrow as well. What is a man like you doing out in the middle of the day?" I ask, remembering the busy work schedule at the office from the week before.

"It's my lunch break. My wife and I like to get away for a little bit. It allows me to clear my head." He cracks his knuckles. He has corn blue eyes and an impressive build. Jasper Whitlock is very nice to look at.

We talk some more while we wait for his wife Alice. She's in the bathroom. No mention of Dr. Cullen as we talk, but I want to ask. I want to know what he's been up to. I refrain from going there.

Alice Whitlock is a tiny woman, with large hazel eyes and short black hair. Nothing about her is artificial. She is beautiful and bubbly and complements her husband rather well. They are a lovely pair.

I tell them that I don't really know anyone in Boston and they give me their numbers. It's a nice gesture, but I doubt I'll have need for them. Who wants to hang out with their dentist?

The next day it is more of the same routine. I wake up. Work out. Unpack a little. And then dress for another day at the museum.

I spend more time in the gardens. The temperature is so nice in Boston, which is something I'm not used to. Everyday I've been here so far has resulted in sunny skies, but nothing oppressively hot.

I go to my mother's gallery one last time. There's a specific painting that has bugged me since yesterday. I think it's about me, but I can't be sure.

Renee has painted a small girl, maybe eight years of age, with brown hair. That's the only distinguishable feature about her. The face is blurred and there's no background to look at besides the pale gray border around the piece.

"She doesn't look like me at all." I tell myself. "Maybe it's her?"

I stand in front of it for quite some time.

Out of nowhere, a warm feeling spreads over my body. It's welcoming but completely surprising. It's a tingle that causes me to breathe deeply in order to steady myself.

I can smell his scent. Same as it was the day he first examined my mouth in his office. It's spicy and very attractive.

"I thought I might find you here," Dr. Cullen's smooth voice says from next to me. Stalker.

I turn to see him staring straight ahead.

"Hello, Dr. Cullen." I breathe out a laugh.

"Hello, Isabella Swan." He smiles and turns to me somewhat. "My partner told me you were here yesterday."

"So you decided to drop by to see for yourself?"

He shrugs. "I had a cancelation and thought it might be nice to see some artwork."

The air around us is thick. With what, I'm not sure. But it's nearly suffocating me.

"Jasper told me that your mother painted all of these. I like what I see." He nods to himself. "I was never really good at art in school, but I wish I were."

He's more relaxed than he was previously. I like it. Less formal.

"I was going to take a little walk around the museum. Would you care to join me?" I ask. He nods again.

We talk. A lot. He seems rather forthcoming with information as we browse each wing.

While looking at Egyptian art, he tells me that he graduated high school at sixteen, then went to Harvard early for college.

In the Art of the America's exhibit, Dr. Cullen tells me he derailed his studies to join the Navy for a couple of years before going back to finish up. Dentistry has always intrigued him, but he could have seen himself as a doctor as well.

He's from old money. _Really _old money. His family is very rich, but he tells me that he is self-sufficient. His trust fund has gone untouched since he was eighteen. He's very proud of that fact.

By the time we reach the Renaissance painters, he asks me to please call him 'Edward'. I don't have the courage to do it, although I nod that I will.

I have something to do at noon. I end up canceling it. There's no way I'm leaving.

I tell him more about my father and Renee's love for art. He seems fascinated. So I talk some more. I flirt, but never touch him. Never. I don't let myself think about what might be going on here, because I want to enjoy it.

He tells some horrible jokes, but I laugh because he's cute when he blushes at the punch line. He thinks they're funny.

We stop off for lunch at the small cafe inside of the museum. I ask him if he's missing work, but he shrugs and says that he took some time off. We laugh across the table from each other and make conversation.

I eat a Caesar salad and he has some kind of pasta dish.

"So, we've talked about almost everything." I wipe my mouth with my napkin. "Except how old you are. You've conveniently avoided that."

He chuckles, "Well, let's guess each other's ages. It's a game."

"That's not fair. You already know how old I am."

"I never asked you," he says.

"True, but you've seen my dental charts. All of my information is in there."

"I can tell how old you are without them."

"Really?" I lean forward. "Enlighten me."

"You act older, but your teeth tell me you're in your early twenties. Your molars are almost finished growing and your canines are at just the right length. Your chart gave me the specific age of twenty-two." His eyes are _so _green. He smiles at me and it makes my legs shake a little.

"Okay, so now it's my turn. Let me guess your age." I sit up in my chair and inspect his face for a couple of seconds. From what I know about him, he's lived quite the life, but he didn't seem that old.

"You can't take all day, Isabella." He takes a small bite of his pasta.

"Thirty-one." I guess.

"Older." He sips his water nonchalantly.

"Thirty-three," I try again.

"Older."

I raise an eyebrow. Is he lying? I'm not sure.

Edward laughs at me and wipes his face with a napkin. "I'll be thirty-five in two months."

"I was going to guess that next," I say smugly.

"You're lying, Isabella," he teases me.

I shrug.

This is so intriguing. I've never been with an older man before. What am I talking about? I'm not even _with _him. He's married. Maybe we're just friends. I'm not sure his wife would like this very much, but I don't think about that. In any case, I've never had an older, male friend.

He watches me carefully to see if his age bothers me. I smile genuinely because it doesn't, and it seems to put him at ease.

We spend a total of four hours at the museum, and I leave him at the entrance when the valet pulls my car around.

"It was nice seeing you again, Isabella." He shakes my hand. "It's not every day that I get to spend an afternoon away with a beautiful lady."

"Such a charmer, Dr. Cullen."

"I told you, please call me _Edward_."

"Alright, then. Thank you for lunch, Edward."

I'm still holding on to his hand, but I can't seem to release my grip and let my hand fall to my side.

Not yet.

And standing there like that, I realize that his wedding band feels cold against my warm palm.

Just like it did the last time.

* * *

**A/N: **Another day, another chapter. I don't have an update schedule, but I have a couple chapters lined up already so I though I'd share them.

I know this story isn't for everyone so if you don't like the subject matter, please don't read it. I wouldn't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable.

I have been overwhelmed with the amount of intrest in the story so far. Lots of great reviews and favs. I love that you guys want to read more. Keep it up.

As always, thank you so muh for the help of my beta Jeny.

Anything Twilight related belongs to SM.

Until next time, happy reading.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

* * *

"Okay, Isabella, make sure to smile," Edward says to me from across the room.

It's been a month since our outing at the museum and there hasn't been any contact since. That doesn't mean I don't think about him often, but I've been keeping myself busy.

Out of the blue, last week, Dr. Cullen's office called and asked if I could be a teeth model for their new brochure. Never in my life have I heard of a teeth model, but I guess it makes sense.

Seeing Edward again was alarming because it gave us a chance to be close. I could see and hear and smell him. He is dangerous, and I'm not sure he realizes it.

"I don't think I want to do this anymore." I cross my arms over my chest as I stand in front of some kind of high tech camera. It is supposed to capture my radiant smile so they can plaster it on their walls as an advertisement.

"Come on, you promised you would." Edward chuckles as he pats the photographer on the shoulder, telling him to give us a second.

"I feel so silly," I complain. There was a man in here before me who had a perfect set of chompers. He had already completed his photo shoot.

"I'm giving you free teeth whitening for a year. It's well worth it. Please just smile for me."

I try, but it's too fake and the camera man knows it. He says the pictures aren't coming out right. My cheeks are too tight.

"Relax, Bella. Just be natural," Edward says.

I almost fall over. This is the first time he's called me 'Bella', not 'Isabella'. I usually don't like people calling me by my nickname, but I didn't mind it from him. I still don't have the courage to call him anything other than 'Dr. Cullen', though.

Edward comes over and pulls us away from the camera. Just enough for him to stand in front of me.

"What's wrong?" he asks.

"I just feel... stupid. I look stupid," I mutter. He stares down at me, keeping his eyes trained on mine. This is the first time I let him actually _look _at me. I tell him the truth about how I feel, without making some kind of sarcastic comment or trying to be funny.

His hands reach up and he places them on the column of my neck. He's touching me. I'm sure he can feel my pulse under his palms. My mouth goes dry and I can see him up close. He's gorgeous.

He brushes him thumbs along my cheeks, and my mouth unconsciously blooms into a smile.

"You don't look stupid, trust me." His voice is low and calm. "You look beautiful."

I nod quickly.

I'm trying to get his hands off of me. I can't deal with this anymore. He has to get away or I'll do something I'll regret.

He backs up a little and the camera is put back in place. This time, my smile is real. I can't help it. He's still close, but I can breathe now.

The pictures take about half an hour, and the photographer seems happy with the product.

Edward and I stay close as we walk towards the reception area. We're so close, but not touching. We both know that there was a moment back there. If we don't talk about it now, we never will.

Maybe that's best.

I probably won't see him for a long time, since I don't have any appointments lined up. That makes me sad. Really sad. But we can forget about our interaction and move on.

"Thank you so much for doing that, Bella. We usually have to shell out thousands of dollars for professional models. I just couldn't think of anyone else I would rather use than you."

"Your flattery won't get you anywhere, Dr. Cullen," I say jokingly. But it's the truth. I think.

He sighs, "How long is it going to take for you to start calling me by my first name?"

"You're my dentist. I'm only on first name basis with my friends." I can't help but laugh at the way his face scrunches up in annoyance.

"Are we not friends? Can't I be both?"

"Both my dentist and my friend? I'm not sure." I shrug, trying to keep this light. Friends might be too close of a relationship for me. I don't think I can handle that.

Before I can say anything, the door from the reception area opens and a small boy runs through. He can't be any older than five. He's so cute with his blonde hair and bright smile. He has on small khaki shorts and a crisp white shirt with a dark blue blazer over it. There was a golden-threaded emblem located on the pocket. Private school kid.

"Daddy! I've come to visit you!" the boy yells.

Edward seems surprised at first, but then bends down with a beaming grin on his face to lift the boy up. The child circles Edward's neck with his arms and hugs him hard. Their eyes are the same green color.

"What are you doing here?" Edward tickles him.

"Mommy said you have to watch me. She has to go to work." He giggles loudly.

_Mommy. _

Edward's face twits in confusion before he corrects it. He shifts his son onto his hip and turns to me. "Bella, I would like to introduce you to my youngest son Jonathan Francis."

"It's a pleasure to meet you," the boy replies.

"You, as well." I'm a little shocked at how well-spoken he is. And very outgoing. I was never like that. His personality is contagious, though. I can't help but feel brighter.

"You're very pretty," Jonathan Francis says, placing his head on Edward's shoulder. "Have you seen _Beauty and the Beast? _You look like Belle."

"What a coincidence. That's my favorite movie," I reply.

"It's one of mine, too." He nods happily. "Is Daddy your teeth doctor?"

Edward chuckles, "Dentist, Jonathan. We talked about this."

"But Grandpa says you're not a real doctor like him. He says you're just a teeth doctor, so it doesn't really count."

I stifle a laugh and Edward rolls his eyes.

"Jonathan!" A feminine sound screams from behind me before a rush of perfume assaults my nose. "I told you not to run off like that."

The woman is blonde and so beautiful. Blue eyes, shiny hair, long body, and a sweet voice.

I have a pretty good level of self-confidence, but this woman is shattering me into a thousand pieces.

"Edward, thank God you caught him." She gasps for air, leaning into Dr. Cullen. She rises on her toes to kiss his lips. He responds in full, while moving his son to the other side.

"Irina, this is the woman I was telling you about," Edward says, referring to me. "Bella, this is my wife, Irina."

I feel sick, but suppress the feeling.

"Oh, the model," she exclaims happily. "It is so nice to finally meet you. All Edward talks about is your smile. I feel like we're old family friends."

I don't know how to respond, so I just thank her. Also, I don't like being referred to as "the model".

Edward can see my change in demeanor, but he is rather calm. I don't know how. I'm internally freaking out.

"Irina, I can't take him right now. I still have patients," he says, handing Jonathan to his wife.

"Edward, please. I just got called in on assignment and I've tried everyone. The boys are at sleepovers. Please," she begs.

I feel like I'm interrupting, but I don't leave. I was here first. She can leave if she wants.

"I'm still going to be here for at least another hour," he says through tight teeth. He's trying to stay calm.

"What do you want me to do?" She shoves a backpack with cartoons on it at Edward. He takes it angrily.

They argue for a little longer. Jonathan Francis stays quiet and looks bored. He seems used to this. He plays with the ends of Edward's hair, and sighs a couple of times, but doesn't say a word.

I don't know why I do it, but once again, my words tumble out.

"I can take him," I stutter.

Edward and Irina look at me.

"I can take him to the park down the street. Just for an hour until you finish work," I explain.

"Yes! Oh, yes. Thank you so much." Irina actually hugs me. I hate her touch. Edward doesn't seem to like it, either.

"It's no problem, honestly." I speak mostly to Edward.

"Is that okay with you, buddy?" Edward asks Jonathan, bouncing him in his arms.

"Yeah. I don't mind the park."

"You're going to be good for Bella, aren't you?" Irina asks her son. She takes him from Edward and puts his backpack on. "I really have to go."

"Irina, we need to talk. You can't keep doing this," Edward says strictly. He is not pleased.

"I have to go. I'm sorry." She kisses him again, running her hands along his chest.

I know I'm in trouble when I feel jealousy bubbling in my stomach.

Why is she touching him? Why can't I feel his chest?

She races out of the door as quickly as she came. A blur of blonde and beauty.

Edward sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. He's annoyed. "I'm so sorry about this. I can call someone. You don't have to do this."

I'm about to take him up on that offer, but I feel a soft hand slide into mine. Jonathan Francis smiles up at me.

"No, that's okay," I say. "What are friends for?"

Edward looks at me with the most intense gaze yet. It's confusing and empowering. I _really _want to kiss him the way Irina did. I want that.

"Friends." Edward nods and then bends down to his son's level. "You be good, okay. I won't be long at all. I just have to finish up a few things first."

Jonathan Francis nods enthusiastically. "I promise, Daddy."

Edward stands back up. "I really have to get back to work. I appreciate this so much, Bella. You have my number, so call if you need anything."

"Sure, Dr. Cullen. It's no problem at all," I assure him.

I haven't been around many kids, but I'm comfortable with them. I really thought about being a teacher once upon a time. Maybe one day.

"Are you ready to go?" I ask Jonathan.

"Yup. I like the park. Will you push me on the swing? I don't like the slide that much, but we can do it if you want." He begins to pull me out into the reception area. I turn and wave to Edward quickly before the door shuts again.

Jonathan Francis is quite the rambunctious child. Our time at the playground is tiring from start to finish. I did not wear the proper shoes for this. I end up taking off my heels when I sit in the sand with him and start making shapes.

"I'm four, but I'm almost five. My birthday is on the same day as Daddy's. He says that makes me extra special," Jonathan Francis tells me.

He's a really talkative child, and he didn't seem shy at all. Oh, and since I wasn't his friend yet, I couldn't call him by just 'Jonathan'. As he was quick to point out, he has two first names.

Jonathan Francis Edward Cullen.

Quite a mouthful. I had to address him as such. He says that when we get to know each other more, I can shorten it. But not just yet. In my mind, I call him JF for short.

"Are you in pre-school?" I ask. Talking is really easy with him. He enjoys it.

"Yup. I have a lot of friends, but I can't wait to go to kindergarten. I can start learning a lot of things then." He occupies himself with drawing in the sand.

I forget how long we've been out here, but the sun is starting to set.

Jonathan Francis makes a new friend in the sand, and I leave them alone to play. I sit on a nearby bench and watch him like a hawk.

I can't believe that Edward would leave me with his child. He barely knows me. But it's not like his wife left him any other choice.

God, I hate that woman.

For some reason, I just hate her. She's so beautiful and gets to do things with him that I can only imagine. Yet she seemed angry. Even in the short time that I met her, she was nothing but nice to me, but she didn't seem happy. Maybe I was just making that up to placate myself.

I cross one of my legs over the other.

Edward comes from out of nowhere and sighs heavily as he sits next to me.

"Rough day?" I nudge his shoulder.

"I can't believe she did that again." He runs his hands through his hair. "I have a job, too. She can't just do that whenever she wants."

I decide to stay silent because I don't know how to comfort him.

He leans back on the bench and turns his head towards me. "Thank you. You really are a lifesaver."

"It's no problem. I have nothing else to do." I shrug. "Your son is adorable."

"Thanks. He's a handful, I know."

"No, he was great. We didn't have any problems. We actually had a lot of fun." I took off one of my shoes and poured out some sand.

Edward laughs, "How can I repay you? I don't want to write you a check like you're a nanny."

"It's fine," I say. "I really didn't mind."

"No, please. It would make me feel better." He places a hand over his heart playfully. "My conscience needs to repay you. What are you doing tonight?"

"Um, nothing."

"How about dinner? That's simple enough. Come to dinner with Jonathan and me. It'll just be us."

I shouldn't agree to this, but I already know I'm going to say 'yes'.

I nod.

Edward seems so happy that I give him a good answer. He runs over to JF and gathers up his toys. He takes me back to the office in his car. It's an economical Volvo SUV with leather seats. I can smell him all over the vehicle, and it makes me so weak. Thank God the ride is only a couple of seconds.

I rush to my own car and then follow him to the restaurant.

It's dark now and the lights of the city are reflecting off of my windows.

"You need to go home, Bella," I tell myself. But I keep my car close to his as we park.

The place is Italian and JF seems rather excited to be eating there. He tells me it's one of his favorites.

"Daddy, can I have pizza?" he asks his father as we are seated. It's a booth. I sit by myself opposite them.

"Sure." Edward ruffles his hair.

Again, I see a different side of Edward than I have before. With his son, he's laughing without a care in the world. Almost like a child himself. I like it. I'm more attracted to him now than ever. I didn't think that would be possible.

"So, how was your afternoon with Bella?" Edward asks JF.

"It's was so much fun. She let me go super high on the swings." He doesn't look up from his coloring book. "And we drew in the sand."

"Sounds like a lot of fun." Edward grins at me.

"It was. Jonathan Francis and I are really good friends now." I lean forward.

"Oh, so you two can be friends? It took me weeks to reach that stage."

"Play your cards right and it might work out in your favor," I tease.

I have to watch what I say and do around JF. Kids are perceptive. No lingering glances or suggestive sentences or inappropriate touches.

I've never really liked Italian food, but this place is good. I order a salad... again. Edward makes fun of me. He says I'm a rabbit. I let him joke and then shut him up when I tell him that I eat salad to stay "fit and tight". He swallows hard then and blinks.

He's attracted to me. I've known that, but I just needed a solid confirmation.

After half an hour, JF passes out and leans against the wall to sleep.

"You wore him out." Edward finishes up his meal of chicken parmesan. I play with the croutons on my plate.

"You really didn't have to take me out for dinner," I say again.

"It's the least I could do after that stunt Irina pulled."

"What exactly is her job?" I ask.

"She's a freelance photojournalist. She travels a lot, so it's tough. She's been home a lot more lately, though, which is nice."

I hate that he wants her home. It makes me irrationally angry. We don't talk about her anymore.

Edward pays for the bill even though I fight him on it.

He picks up JF and carries him to the car. The kid is knocked out cold, and he seems so peaceful in his deep sleep. Edward buckles JF into his car seat tightly.

He shuts the door and then stands in front of me. "Thank you, again. I can't say it enough."

"Well, thanks for dinner."

We just look at each other for a couple of long seconds. I fight the urge to pull him towards me and kiss him. But it's hard to fight.

Thankfully, he does it for me.

His hands are on my neck, just like they were this afternoon, bracing me to him as his lips descended. Hot, so hot. And firm. Edward's kiss was unwavering. He knew what he wanted, and he was taking it.

His tongue is sweet, just as I imagined it would be.

I've had my fair share of kisses in my life, but nothing were like this. I can't breathe. I don't want to. I want to die right here with his lips on mine.

Edward's hands leave my neck and rest on my lower back, pushing me towards him. He is aroused. Our bodies are flush against each other and I can feel _everything. _

I'm against the car now. Inside, his son is sleeping soundly. That fact doesn't escape me, but I can't stop.

Edward's lips leave mine, but start down the left side of my neck. Sucking. Licking. Kissing.

"Shit," his body shudders, "when can I see you again?"

"I don't know. I don't have another appointment for a couple of months," I joke.

"You know what I mean." He actually growls at me and pushes himself further into me. My legs tremble.

He was so sweet before, but now he's demanding and controlling. I don't know which Dr. Cullen I like more.

"I have to think about it. Soon, though," I tell him. I have a few obligations I can't get out of. I don't want to make him wait, but he might have to for a few days. I need to cool off, anyway.

His hands are hot on my hips. I dig my nails into his chest like I wanted to do before. It feels so good. His pecks are rock solid.

I pull his face to me for another kiss, but don't let myself linger. I spin us around so that I am free from his grasp.

I stumble backwards and take deep breaths.

He leans against the car and shuts his eyes.

Neither of us says anything for a while. I keep myself upright somehow and want so much for him to kiss me again, but don't let myself think about that. Now that the floodgates are open, I don't know if I can stop. He's quickly becoming my addiction.

He opens his eyes, and I think he's going to blame me for this or say that he regrets it.

"I want to see you again," he says.

I'm so happy he does.

"I do, too."

He nods, a smile on his lips. "Good."

I sigh in relief and then stand up straight, fixing my hair. "I'll call you in a couple of days."

I know what I did was wrong, but I can't stop thinking about how right it felt.

I don't let myself look at him. I turn around and take quick steps until I'm in my car. I leave the parking lot without turning back.

* * *

**A/N: **So we're moving along rather quickly, as you can see. And you've finally met "the wife". What did you think of her? Interesting developments, no?

As always, thanks to Jenny for beta'ing. Always immaculate with her corrections.

The response to the story has been incredible and I love hearing what you guys think in reviews.

All things Twilight related belongs to SM.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

* * *

I try not to think about Edward as the next few days pass. But he makes it hard to forget him.

I receive a text mere minutes after our feral kiss in the parking lot.

_Just wanted to make sure you have my number. I really enjoyed my evening and can't wait to see you again.-E_

No doubt he got my number from my personal chart information, but I don't mind.

I can't bring myself to text him back, and in the days that follow there isn't any more communication between us. I want there to be, but can't initiate it. Then I realize that he might be regretting his actions since he hasn't called. Is he mad? Is he as confused as I am?

Well, I'm not confused. I know what I want. I want him. I just don't know how to go about getting him.

I keep myself busy with unpacking, but the stacks of boxes still keep getting taller. I feel like I haven't even made a dent. Thankfully, Rosalie and Emmett are coming to visit me this weekend so they can help.

I'm waiting for their train at South Station, sipping on some coffee. They live in Philadelphia so it's just a short ride to Boston. Emmett plays for the Eagles and makes quite a lot of money. I don't know if he's very good or not, but his paycheck suggests that he's valuable.

They're right on time and, as usual, Rosalie has far too much luggage.

"Bella!" She grabs me and pulls me close. I do the same to her.

"I'm so glad you're here. It's been ages," I say.

"I know, I know. You look so cute. Is this dress new? I need to borrow it." She twirls me around.

Rosalie is a bombshell in every sense of the word. She's thirty, but you couldn't guess it from her face. It's flawless and devoid of any aging. Long blonde hair and pale blue eyes complete her look. It's almost too much for us mere mortals to handle.

We chatter quickly, like sisters do, about nothing in particular. I don't even notice Emmett until he huffs in aggravation.

"No love for me?" he pouts playfully.

"Of course." I hug him, but he can't hug me back. His arms are too filed with Rose's stuff. "I see she has you busy as usual."

He's a massive man with dark brown hair and such a happy face. I don't think I've ever seen him angry. He has cute dimples and a boyish charm that makes him impossible to hate.

"I have to put those muscles to good use." She feels his biceps. "God, you're so huge. I love it."

He attacks her mouth like it's on fire. They make out with vigor, and I clear my throat. They have always been this way. Hot and heavy. Everyone else has to suffer around them.

"Come on. Let's get you two out of here before someone calls the police." I grab one of Rose's small Louis Vuitton bags and lead them to the exit.

We stuff everything into the trunk of my cream colored Range Rover, and Emmett insists that he drives. That's fine with me because Rose and have lots of talking to do.

Charlie married her mother when I was ten and she was eighteen. We've been close since then. I really wanted a big sister, and she was everything I could have hoped for. I know it sounds silly, but even with the age difference, it never mattered. We talked about _everything_ and she was my sister in every way possible.

We reach my townhouse, and I'm nervous to see what she thinks of it.

"Oh, wow. This is beautiful." Rose looks around the marble foyer. "I really like it in here."

"They just remodeled the kitchen. It's my favorite part of the house," I tell her.

"Of course it is. I don't know why you like cooking. It's so boring." She rolls her eyes.

I take her hand and give her the tour. I hear Emmett already raiding the fridge even though I tell him that we'll be ordering a pizza soon. He replies that he needs his nutrients.

Rose and I end up on my bed, laughing about something stupid. Once we sober up, I decide to tell her about Edward. I'm not ashamed of anything I did with him, but I want to know what she thinks of the whole situation.

"I met someone and I really like him." I bite my lip, waiting for her response.

"Oh, really!" She sits up on her elbows. "What's his name?"

"Edward."

"What does he do?"

"He's a dentist."

"Is he attractive?"

"Incredibly so."

"Older guy, I'm assuming." She crosses her legs.

I nod. "Thirty-four."

"A lot older." She doesn't object.

"And he's... married," I whisper.

Rosalie lays back on the bed, looking at me. "Really?"

She doesn't say anything for a little while. I hope she can give me some insight. She's had more experience with men than me. Emmett was the guy who could tame her wild ways, but before him, my sister was somewhat of a tramp.

"And he likes you?" she asks.

"We kissed a couple of nights ago. It was incredible, but I don't know what to do."

"Yes, you do." She hits my forehead. "Stop being stupid. You like him and I can tell because you never talk about men like this. You're entranced with him. It's in your voice."

"But he's _married_," I say again.

"So? That's not your problem. If you want him and he wants you, go for it."

"What would you say if Emmett had that philosophy?"

"He wouldn't even think that because what he's getting at home is so much better than anything he can get somewhere else. I'm his physical and emotional mate. It's not just about sex, Bella. Obviously this Edward has a hard-on for you, but I bet his wife is distant. He misses that connection to a woman; someone who pays attention to him."

I've already made up my mind days ago that I would see him again, but I just wanted someone else to tell me I wasn't crazy.

"But what about morals? The sanctity of marriage?"

"That's something for him to wrestle with. You're free to do as you please. He's the one who needs to evaluate his life. You're just along for the ride. An affair is the least of his worries."

Did I have feelings for him? Yes, but I don't tell my sister that.

"So you think it's okay?"

"Certainly. And it's fun. Even though I've never been with a married man before, I can just imagine the excitement."

We talk quietly about Edward for a couple more minutes. I avoid telling her that he has kids and she doesn't ask, although, I can tell she suspects he does.

Emmett whines that he wants that pizza. We order and sit in front of my large flat screen downstairs to watching movies.

I don't plan on going out at all, but sometime around nine, my phone buzzes on the end table. Rose and Emmett are on the floor, cuddling into a bunch of pillows while we watch _Casablanca. _

I pick up my phone to read the message.

_You haven't texted me this week.-E_

It sounds so high school, but it makes my heart flutter. He's texting me. Should I play it coy? Be funny? Or maybe just answer straight.

I keep myself under control so that I don't alert Rose or Emmett. My fingers quickly type out a response.

_I'm sorry. I wanted to, but was really busy. My sister and brother-in-law are here.-B_

_Oh, ok then.-E_

I didn't think he would say anything else, but the phone buzzes again in a matter of seconds.

_I really want to see you tonight.-E_

I breathe deeply.

_I want to see you, too.-B_

_I hope I'm not taking you away from your family.-E_

_It's fine. They're almost asleep.-B_

_I'll pick you up in half an hour?-E_

_Okay. That sounds good. Do you need the address?-B_

_Silly, Bella. I already have it.-E_

I giddily get up from the couch and start to run out of the room.

"Um, excuse me!" Rose shouts. "Where are you going?"

"Edward wants to go out," I answer her.

"Oh, your boyfriend?" Emmett flutters his eyelashes.

"You're such a bullshit hostess." Rose takes my spot on the couch. "Go have fun with your married man."

I plan to.

I run up the stairs and race to my closet. What does one wear to these things? Sexy or sweet? I choose sexy and pick out a short, red Dior dress with a lace back. It hits about mid-thigh and has a high neck, but no sleeves.

I'm showing a lot of skin in the mirror, and I wonder how Edward will like it.

I put on a thick black belt and black stiletto heels. It's amazing how quickly I move; I don't think I've ever gotten dressed this fast in my life.

My makeup is done and I delicately put on some bright red lipstick. I fluff my hair out over my shoulders.

"Hot." Rose appears behind me. "Your boyfriend's downstairs."

"What!" I spit out some mouthwash into the sink.

"He got here five minutes ago. He and Emmett are talking football." She comes up to me, fixing my hair. "He's hot, Bella."

"He really is," I sigh. I'm nervous, but excited.

I take the stairs slowly so that I don't fall on my wobbly legs. Edward is waiting near the door, hands in his pocket. He's in black slacks and a light blue dress shirt. Completely casual and completely hot.

I don't see any sign of Emmett or Rosalie, but it's not like I can focus on anything except Edward, anyway.

"Hello, Isabella." He breathes when I step close to him. His hand guides me even closer and he kisses the side of my lips. "You look sensational."

"Thank you. I was surprised to get your message." I place my hands on his chest to steady myself. His face is inches from mine, but he doesn't move it. I don't want him to.

"I tried to stay away for a couple of days, but it was hard," he admits.

"I bet it was." I reply suggestively.

"I was in the city and thought we could get together. I know it's late and you've probably already eaten, but I know this nice jazz bar close by. We can get drinks or... whatever you want."

His face reddens. He's nervous and it makes me smile.

"Dr. Cullen, you're blushing." I twist his shirt in between my fingers.

"I can't help it." He pats my lower back. "Are you ready to go?"

I nod. "Yes. Let's do this."

Edward leads me outside. He's driving a new car tonight. It's a black Jaguar.

I'm so turned on.

He opens the door and I slide into the seat. He quickly comes around to the driver's side and starts the car.

"Very nice. Are you trying to impress me, Dr. Cullen?"

"Trying very hard, actually. And you're making fun of me. Shame on you." He pulls out of the spot in front of my building. "Your sister is very kind. She welcomed me in with open arms."

"Yeah, she is. I'm glad she and her husband came to visit. As you could probably see when you went inside, it's kind of a mess. I need all the help I can get."

He laughs heartily, "I didn't mind. Your house is beautiful, by the way."

"Thanks."

"It still amazes me how someone so young is so independent. At twenty-two I was barely ready to live on my own." He drives calmly, leaning back in his seat. He's so confident behind the wheel.

"I've always been that way. I can't explain it. My mother tells me I've never really acted my age. She says I'm an old lady."

"You're very mature and you think things through, which a lot of people your age don't. I like that." He places his free hand on my knee across the console.

I breathe deeply and sink further into my seat.

The drive was extremely comfortable. Almost like I had known this man for years. We didn't talk much, but we didn't need to.

Edward had to parallel park a couple of streets over from the jazz club since there was no parking out front. He helped me onto the sidewalk and then offered me his arm as we left the car. We didn't rush because we were enjoying the warm night.

The club was one of those underground hole-in-the-walls. It was smoky and the lights were low. There is a guy scatting on stage accompanied by a trumpet and drum set. I loved the vibe inside and everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves.

"It's crowded in here," I whisper in his ear.

"I think there's a seat in the corner." He leads me over to a small circular table. It has a candle in the middle and looks incredibly private.

He pulls the chair out for me, which no one has ever done. Edward sits and waves a waiter over. He orders a Crown and Coke. I order an Amaretto sour and get carded. I feel so embarrassed as I pull out my id and show it to the waiter. Edward chuckles.

"It's not funny." I shove it back into my purse. "He thinks I'm a child."

"You're far from it."

We talk a little, while listening to the jazz music that's flowing through the club. I sip on my drink slowly, not wanting my brain to be clouded with alcohol. After an hour or so, Edward complains that I'm too far away and pulls my chair next to his. It scrapes on the floor, and I'm now tucked into his side.

I don't know why I say it, but I need to know, "So, where's your wife tonight?"

Edward drains his drink and orders another. "In Brazil for a few days. She's documenting the deforestation of the Amazon. It's her fifth trip in two months."

He sounds so sad. And annoyed.

"My oldest son is babysitting tonight and since I'm going to be spending all weekend with the kids, I thought I needed some time for myself." Edward smiles at me, his white teeth clearly visible in our dark corner.

"And where do your kids think you are?" I take another sip from my glass.

"Bowling with Uncle Jasper. We go once a week; man time," Edward explains. He must be hot because he unbuttons his shirt sleeves and rolls them up past his forearms. So sexy.

"So, you blew off your best friend to see me?" I feel flattered.

"Of course." His voice is warm and caring. He leans in, brushing his lips from my temple and down my neck. "I wouldn't miss this opportunity for anything."

I can't help myself and kiss his lips. My hands travel into his hair and thread together. I love kissing him so much. It is like nothing else I had ever felt. He is soft, but still commanding. I scratch his scalp and he moans. The sound vibrates through my body and the feeling between my legs intensifies.

"God, Bella. You're killing me," he whispers.

"What are we doing, Edward?" His lips touch my neck and suck.

"I'm doing what feels right to me. I'm tired of settling."

"But what about..."

"Shhh." He places and arm over the back of my chair and pulls me close. "Kiss me again."

I do as he says, and it's better this time than the last. This man is going to be the death of me.

I need to feel his skin. My fingers begin to undo the top few buttons of his shirt. His chest is hairy, and it turns me on so much. Our lips are entangled, and he slips his tongue into my mouth.

We both enjoy the sensations that are coursing through our bodies. I have no idea where this night is going, but I'm not stopping it.

"I have never met someone so sexy in my life," Edward mumbles, his hands gripping my thighs under the table.

"What about Irina?" I must be a glutton for punishment because I keep asking about his wife.

"Don't say her name." His voice is strict, and he shoves his tongue into my mouth again. I nearly crumble at the fact that he doesn't want to talk about her. It makes me feel so happy.

The rest of our time at the club is spent kissing and touching. It's nothing inappropriate, but his hands do creep higher up my dress. They never go where I want them to, and he explains that he's trying to be respectful. To hell with that!

By the time we leave, I'm stumbling. Edward nearly has to lift me up. We kiss down the street towards his car. My stilettos are making it hard to walk, but I don't want to take them off. Our height difference makes it too much of a reach without the heel.

The drive home is one with more silence. I want to say something, but don't know what. I keep quiet, just feeling the weight in the car. He pulls up to my house and leaves the car idling as he walks me to the door.

He kisses me without asking, pulling me close by my hips.

"I won't be able to see you until next week. I'm entertaining my kids all weekend," Edward chuckles.

"That's fine. I'll just fantasize about you until then."

"Don't say that. I'm doing all I can to control myself right now."

"Why?"

"Because I want to kiss you until I can't take it anymore."

"Do you want to come up?" I ask, hoping that he will. He knows what I want.

"Not tonight." Edward touches is lips to mine once. Then again and again. "But I promise... soon."

I pout. I don't mean to, but I can't help it.

He chuckles and kisses it away. "I don't want you screaming while your sister and brother-in-law are in the house."

"Oh, God." I fall into him and he holds me up. He's so sexy and he doesn't even know it.

I want to ask what I am to him. Obviously not a friend, but not a steady girlfriend, either. I don't let myself think about being "the other woman". I just enjoy his touch.

"Thank you for the perfect night, Isabella."

I nod, not being able to say anything further.

"Sleep well." He kisses behind my ear and then squeezes my hand before walking down the stairs and back to the car.

I go inside and shut the door, sliding to the floor of my illuminated foyer. I know that tonight's dreams are going to be filed with Edward Cullen.

* * *

**A/N: **Things are getting hot and heavy, no?

As always, thanks to Jenny for the beta work. She cleans up these chapters so nicely. And thank you all for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

* * *

Rose and Emmett leave two days later. I'm sad to see them go, but also want time to myself. Time to myself to clean the house and think about Edward. I miss him, even though the days away from each other haven't been that long.

He texts me throughout the weekend and says that he wishes he had time to come into the city. Jonathan Francis is sick with a cold, and his other kids are enjoying the start of their summer. I know he has kids, but I don't know any of their names besides JF. I don't know him well enough to gauge if I'm crossing a line with asking questions about his children.

He seems to want to talk about them, but I feel slightly uncomfortable, so I always change the subject. But I secretly want to know more about his life.

Irina has extended her trip in Brazil by a couple of days, which bodes well for me. Edward says that he wants to take me to lunch on Monday.

I wake up that morning with a smile on my face. I work out, as usual, and push myself extra hard today. I have a lot of pent up energy that needs to be released. Hopefully, Edward can help with that in the near future.

I keep waiting for some feeling of guilt to seep through my body, but it never comes. Does that make me a bad person? I don't care. I'm enjoying myself and being selfish. Rose keeps telling me not to worry about it. She says that if Irina wanted her husband, she would be there for him. She's not, so I take her place.

I dress for lunch in a pair of tight white pants and throw on a simple tank top, covering it up with a burgundy blazer. I wear some jewelry, which I don't usually do, but I'm feeling festive. My pumps for today are patent leather and match my jacket. I don't like my hair right now. It won't cooperate so I throw it into a ponytail. That always works.

Edward has texted me the address of the restaurant and I arrive ten minutes before we're supposed to meet. It's a nice cafe located on the street. I get a table and the waiter asks what I want to drink. I just get water and wait for Edward.

He's five minutes late and looks so apologetic.

"I'm sorry I'm late." He kisses my cheek lightly before he sits down. I sometimes wonder if he worries about us being seen like this, but he hasn't said anything, so I don't bother asking.

"It's a nice day outside. I don't mind waiting," I say and look at him for the first time. He's in scrubs today, which tells me he had a surgery. He looks good. Relaxed, but tired.

"How was your weekend?" he asks me.

I tell him about how I entertained Rose and Emmett while they were here. He smiles and seems like he can't get enough of me. I can tell he wants to reach across the table to grab my hand, but he doesn't.

I ask him how Jonathan Francis is doing. It breaks my heart when he tells me that the little boy woke up crying yesterday with a fever. My feelings for Edward skyrocket as he explains how he cared for his son throughout the day. Thankfully, JF is better now.

"What do you have planned for the rest of the day?" Edward takes a large bite of his hamburger.

"More unpacking."

"You're still not done?" he laughs.

"No, and it's getting annoying." I huff. "I have so many things that I don't need. It's exhausting."

"How about I come over tonight to help."

I'm kind of shocked that he keeps wanting to spend time with me. Doesn't he have obligations?

Shouldn't be hanging out with his kids? I ask him this question, and he laughs.

"Bella, at their ages, they would rather have their friends around than me. They're going to their going to my parents' for the evening."

"How many children do you have?"

A proud smile on his face, he says. "Four boys."

"Really?" My calm facade cracks. I almost choke on my water. I didn't know that. "All boys?"

"Yup. The house is always a mess. You can only imagine what it's like."

"Wow."

"My oldest is George. He's sixteen, but he thinks he's forty. Then there's Theodore, but you can't call him that. He likes Theo. He's 11. And then Sebastian, we call him Seb or Bas and he's seven. You've already met Jonathan Francis. He'll be five next month."

I feel so excited to be learning about his kids. It's obviously something that he enjoys telling me and I can know that he loves them all so much.

"I bet they look a lot like you." I giggle at how happy he is with the topic of conversation.

I'm a little put off by the fact that his oldest is only six years younger than me, but it doesn't seem to bother him.

"Can I walk you to your car?" Edward asks after we finish lunch. He pays. He always does no matter how hard I protest.

"I'm right across the street." I look up at him through my lashes.

Edward wants to touch me, but doesn't. His eyes travel about and down my body. He runs a hand through his hair.

"You look so good today. _So _good," he whispers.

I'm glad he thinks so. These pants are about to cut off my circulation.

"I want to kiss you," I mutter.

"You have no idea how much I'm holding back right now."

I wish we could make out right here on the street corner, but we're not in a dark corner of a jazz bar or a secluded parking lot. There are too many people.

I settle for a hand shake, holding my hand out. He chuckles and shakes.

"Can I come over tonight?" Edward asks. "I want to help you unpack."

"Are you sure?"

"Definitely." His eyes are dark.

"Okay. After work." I let go of his hand. It's too intense, and I might jump him right here. "Have a wonderful rest of your day."

I turn around and walk across the street to my car, making sure to sway my hips a little more than usual. I hope he enjoys it.

I am on pins and needles when Edward texts me at five thirty that afternoon. He says he's coming over.

I've been cleaning up all day so I'm in tiny workout shorts and a ratty vintage band T-shirt. I try to occupy myself until I hear the doorbell ring, but it doesn't go so well. I just end up thinking about him.

I nearly rip the door open when I hear his car outside.

Edward doesn't even give me a chance to speak before he crosses the threshold of my house and attacks my lips. His tongue sweeps the inside of my mouth and I accept him willingly.

He kicks the door closed behind him and lifts me up by my ass. I wrap my legs around his middle and kiss him even harder.

We haven't even had sex and we're already so intense. What's it going to be like after?

He mumbles something around my lips. I let go and rest my forehead against his.

"Slow down, baby." Edward breathes heavily. "We have all night."

"Is that a promise?"

He nods. "I can't wait any longer. Tonight."

I slide down his body and sigh, "Please don't make me wait any longer."

I'm nearly begging for him to fuck me. I _need _it.

"Not right now." He pats my butt a couple of times.

For the first time since he's arrived, I notice that he's not in his scrubs like he was at lunch. Instead, he's in basketball shorts, sneakers, and a T-shirt that looks like its sleeves have been cut off.

I nearly cry at how beautiful his arms are. I'm not ashamed and run my hands along the lines of his biceps. He shudders under my touch.

"I've come prepared to work." He sees me staring at his body.

"I like you like this," I mutter.

"Bella, stop it. You're killing me." He backs away from me. "If we don't get started, we won't ever get anything done. I really want to help you unpack. We have all the time in the world. Don't force it."

I know he's right. He laughs when my face falls.

I scowl at him and pull him by his shirt into the family room.

We get started on some of the heavy boxes. I watch him lift the larger stuff onto the tables. His arms flex, and he stretches his body when he sees me looking. He's making fun of me again for not having the attention span to stay focused.

I prove him wrong and ignore him for half an hour, unwrapping vases and picture frames.

Edward gets tired of my silence and grabs me by the waist, lifting me up. I squeal as he throws me on the couch. He presses his body into mine and kisses my neck. I try not to roll my hips for friction. I want to show him that I have some kind of control.

I dig my fingers into his silky hair.

"I like being with you like this," I say quietly.

"I know, baby. I know." He continues to kiss me.

We can kiss and be us without any distractions or onlookers.

His hands, for the first time, reach up and feel my breasts. The touch ignites a fire in me that I could only dream of.

He seems to like my breasts and squeezes them in his palms. They fit perfectly.

"You're so amazing. In every way." Edward lies on top of me, slowing his lips.

We still for a minute, but I continue to scratch his scalp.

"Does this scare you?" I ask him. "This... connection that we have?"

"A little." He looks at me with sincere eyes. "But I've decided not to fight it. We can talk about... things later."

I know what _things _he wants to discuss, and I'm ready to talk as well.

"It's all happening really fast," he states. "But... _fuck_, I haven't been this happy in a long time."

That makes me smile so big I think my cheeks are going to burst.

His lips descend on mine one more time before he gets up and helps me off of the couch.

We continue to unpack. We've done more in two hours than Rose, Emmett, and I did in two days.

"I'm making you dinner tonight," I tell him as he starts putting some books away on the shelves on the wall.

"Oh, really?" He smirks. "What are we having, salad?"

"Ha. Ha. Very funny." I punch his shoulder. It's very muscular.

"I'll eat anything of yours." He licks his lips. I almost combust.

I leave him in the living room and go into the kitchen.

I hear him unpacking while I shuffle around the kitchen and decide on oven baked BBQ chicken. I thankfully have enough vegetables to make some side dishes and after an hour have mashed potatoes, green beans, and biscuits.

"I can't believe you've managed to whip this up," Edward says as he comes into the kitchen. I'm just finishing up putting the food on the table.

"Can you get a bottle of red wine out of the chiller?" I point to the small, glass fridge.

He retrieves one and a corkscrew.

We sit down to the table and for some reason, it's awkward at first. We test our glances and touches. This is the first time we've been alone together since we've met. It's kind of scary to think what might happen, even over dinner.

"Bella, I have to say that this is fantastic." Edward nearly devours his first piece of chicken and asks for another, which I happily give him. It's nice to cook for more than one person.

"I'm glad you enjoy it. Next time, we'll have salad," I joke.

He laughs and leans over to kiss my lips without warning. My eyes flutter shut at his touch. It's so easy being with him.

"So, tell me about your parents?" I ask him. I just want to know as much as I can.

He lets out a deep breath. "They've always been my biggest supporters. I've only wanted to make them proud. We're all really close."

"That must be nice," I say, thinking about the non-existent relationship with my parents.

"I'm a very strange foreign mix." He takes a large sip of his wine. "My mother is Russian. She came to the States when she was fifteen and my father is English. He wanted to come here for college. They met and the rest is history. They're the most in-love couple I've seen in my entire life."

"I bet they're really cute."

"Sickeningly sweet. You never enjoy watching your parents feel each other up."

"No, I guess not." I laugh quietly. "Are they good grandparents?"

"The best," he exclaims. "Every Friday, the boys go to Newport, Rhode Island where my parents live for a sleepover. At first, they did it to give Irina and me sometime together, but... as you can see, that hasn't worked out too well."

I smile sadly at him.

"The only thing I know about Newport is that the houses are massive," I say, trying to change the subject.

"It's a very rich area. My father is a doctor and my mother comes from money, so they have a lot of it."

"Is that a far drive?" I ask him.

"Well, it's about a two hour train ride down there, but now that George drives, he can make it in an hour." Edward shrugs. "They'll be back tomorrow, though. George has a baseball game that he refuses to miss."

Dinner and the bottle of wine are finished. I tell him that I will clean up and he can continue unpacking. He kisses me once in the kitchen before he leaves, and I'm surprised that my lips aren't chapped. All we've done is kiss. Not that I'm complaining.

I spend a little more time in the kitchen cleaning up than I need to. I want to calm down a little. This is all making my head spin, and I want to give myself some space to breathe.

I put the final dish away, and Edward walks in.

"Um, not that I'm being nosy or anything, but would you mind telling me what this is?" He holds up a small Ziploc bag filled with crushed green leaves.

I hit my forehead. "I told her not to leave that here."

"Who?" Edward chuckles.

"I promise that's not my marijuana."

"You're holding it for a friend?"

"It's my sister's. She says I need to loosen up. I swear I'm not some filthy pothead." I run towards him and try to snatch the bag away.

"Well, now, hold on." He holds it above our heads. "We shouldn't waste such good product."

"Dr. Cullen, I'm shocked. Are you suggesting that we partake in smoking illegal substances?" I place my hands on his stomach and scratch at the fabric of his shirt.

"We might as well. This night can only get better."

We sit on the floor of the family room, our backs against my leather couch. I open some more wine, and we just drink from the bottle. I have to reteach Edward how to roll a blunt.

"I haven't done this since high school." He takes his first inhale of my perfect stick and the end lights up. He holds it for a couple of seconds before coughing the smoke back out.

"Can't keep up?" I grab the joint from him and take a hit. I've never been a big smoker, but it helps me relax a little.

"I never thought in a million years, I would be sitting on your floor smoking and drinking from three hundred dollar bottles of wine." He laughs and takes more puffs.

"I'm full of surprises," I warn him.

"You certainly are, Isabella Swan." He leans closer and sucks at the pulse point of my neck. It's a short, sweet gesture, but sends me into a frenzy.

I push him away playfully.

"This stuff hasn't changed since I was a kid." Edward coughed out some more smoke. "I wonder what I would do if I found George doing this."

"He's not a sixteen-year old hellion?" I giggle, the effects of the marijuana taking over.

"God, no," Edward scoffs. "Sometimes I _wish_ he would do something. He's always stayed inside the lines. His grades are perfect, his room is clean, he never goes out, and he focuses on baseball. That's his life. I just want him to live before... Well, before it's too late."

"Too late for what?" I wonder out loud.

"I don't know." Edward sighs. "Too late to be happy."

"I don't think it's ever too late for that."

"Really?"

I nod and nuzzle into his side.

After a while, the wine and drugs start to make me feel rather bold. I kiss Edward, but I need to be closer so I climb into his lap, straddling his legs. I'm placed right above his hardening cock.

I shift my hips, and my incredibly short workout pants ride up my thighs, becoming even shorter. I grind into him, and he moans. When I push him to the brink, I pull away.

"Wait." Edward tries to bring my face back to his, but I won't let him.

"Open your mouth," I instruct him.

His face looks confused, and his lips fall open a little. I take a long drag from the blunt and hold the smoke in my throat before blowing a thin stream into Edward's mouth. His eyes close, and he looks so relaxed.

We stay silent and still for a couple of minutes. The wine is done at this point. The blunt is finished, and I can feel my body trying to mold with his. I need him. He must feel it, too.

Edward lays his head on my shoulder. "Bella, can I fuck you, please?"

"It's so nice of you to ask." I breathe deeply.

"Is that a 'yes'?"

I nod quickly.

I don't know how he moves so fast, but he lifts us off the ground together and doesn't set me back down. My legs wrap around him as we stumble up the stairs. I tell him that my bedroom is on the second floor and then guide him inside.

He nearly slams me onto the bed.

We don't talk. We just kiss and devour each other. I'm so hot and ready for him. He lies on top of me, and my legs spread wide. He tells me to lift up a little so he can remove my shirt.

Cold air hits my skin, and I shiver.

Edward's long fingers slide down my legs, easily pulling off my shorts. He leaves me in nothing more than my top and panties.

He holds my hands above my head in a vice grip. It kind of hurts but feels good at the same time. "You're mine for the night." He kisses my neck.

"Yes," I whisper.

His breath smells of weed, wine, and garlic from dinner. But I love how warm it is. It washes over my face as his lips claim mine with force. My lips have a mind of their own as they respond to him willingly. Edward's kisses are lustful and excited.

God, I can kiss this man all day.

I start to struggle to get my hands free. I want to pull him closer to me, but he won't let me budge.

"This needs to go." Edward fumbles behind me to unclasp my bra. It takes him a few seconds but I'm soon free.

He trails kisses down my jaw. I throw my head back when I feel him lick down the front of my neck.

"Do you realize how beautiful you are?" His voice is rough and parched. "I would fuck you every second of every day if I could."

Yes! Let's make that happen.

His lips come in contact with my nipple, and I hiss in pleasure. He latches on and swirls his tongue around it before giving a soft nibble. He pays proper attention to the next one, and I feel tears prick my eyes.

Nothing has ever felt like this. Nothing.

"Edward..." I want to say something, but can't find the words.

"I'm about to make you feel so good." He chuckles against my skin. He thinks my squirming is funny. It's torturous.

He continues his trail down my stomach with his lips.

Before long, I can feel his breath against my heated center. I took precaution today and wore a white lace bra and panty set. Edward seems to enjoy the fabric.

"Do you like my kisses?" he asks.

"Yes." My voice is no louder than a mouse's.

I shiver in anticipation as his lips meet my underwear-covered pussy.

Edward latches his fingers into my panties and slide them down my limbs just as easily as my shorts. I'm now completely naked and open with him on the floor between my legs.

Edward is in nothing more than boxers and he's perfection.

He's hard against my inner thigh, pushing into my skin.

"I don't have any condoms," he says against my neck. "I should, but I don't."

I tell him that I've been on the pill since I was sixteen. He says he's clean. I trust him. Maybe I shouldn't, but I do.

"I can't wait any longer to be inside you." Edward's voice is husky.

I can feel his head at my entrance. His eyes are on mine. There is so much we want to say to each other. We both know it's wrong, but there isn't any stopping us at this point.

He slowly enters me.

I grip onto his shoulders as hard as I can, letting him fill me inch by glorious inch.

I have never felt so many emotions before in my life. Lust, excitement, eagerness, completion, desire, anticipation, pleasure. It's all wrapped up in my body, about to explode.

"Ahh, God!" I scream as he pushes further into my body.

I feel him tense and stop breathing.

"Keep going Edward. Please... keep going," I order.

He pushes forward until we are completely joined.

The feel of him inside me is beyond words. The need for release takes over. My legs wrap around him, trying to draw him forward.

He slowly withdraws and thrusts in again "Bella..." He calls my name, and I love the way it sounds.

His movements grow frantic, craving the release we both needed. I'm surprised at how fluid and caring his movements are. Usually, our kisses are rough and hard, but he's taking his time tonight.

I pull at his hair like it's my lifeline.

I lose track of time as the feelings in me grow deeper, and the heat in my stomach burns hotter.

Edward thrusts freely in and out of me, ecstasy screaming from every pore of my body. I want this to last forever. His breaths become ragged, his movements turning desperate.

"Edward… Oh god…" I scream, not embarrassed or ashamed.

I feel his entire body tense as he explodes inside me. My own climax is only seconds behind him. It's everything I thought it would be and more. I feel like I might have a concussion.

"Shit," he whispers harshly as his climax takes over.

I don't let go of him. I can't let go now. I know in that moment, with him on top of me, that this isn't just a physical thing. We both can feel it.

Our tremors subside.

Edward pulls out of me and rolls us over, bringing me on top of him. He mutters praises in my ear. He tells me how beautiful and exquisite I am. I can't reply with anything because I still can't breathe.

"That was... by far... the best sex I've ever had." He blows out a steady stream of air.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I realize that a married man just fucked me in my bed. But I can't help myself and beg him for more.

There is no going back from here.

* * *

**A/N: **Oh my. So the deed is done. I guess we just have to get ready for the ride that's about to come. A few things: 1.) As of now, there will be no Edward POV. 2.) There will be a happy ending. Those are some of the main questions I've been getting so I thought I would answer them here.

Thank you to Jenny for the beta work! Couldn't do any of this without her. And thanks to the readers and the reviews. over 700 for just four chapters. I guess you all like it.

As usual, all things Twilight related belongs to Stephanie Meyer.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

* * *

We have sex again, not even an hour later. It's still slow and sensual, but still fantastic. It's now midnight, and I tell him to stay over. He doesn't have to be anywhere until tomorrow morning, so he agrees.

We're naked under the sheets, tangled together. I'm a little sore, but don't mind it at all. The soreness reminds me of just how good the sex was.

I lay curled into Edward's side running my hand over the hair on his chest. He has a lot of it, but I like the feeling of it through my fingers. Most guys my age have the unnecessary urge to wax their chests, but Edward isn't of that mold.

He's certainly not anywhere near my age. I like that about him, too. I never thought I would be involved with a man twelve years older than me. It's exciting.

I giggle and bury my face into his side.

"What's so funny?" Edward asks, lifting my face up so he can see my eyes.

"You're so old," I say, making sure he knows I'm joking. We haven't talked about our age difference, but I want to.

"I'm not _that _old." He laughs with me. "You're just too young."

I kiss his nipple, sucking on it a little.

"My dad died at forty-five. You're ten years younger than him. He would kill me." I laugh to myself.

"Died at forty-five?"

"Car accident," I answer, shrugging.

"I'm sorry."

"It's alright."

"Does it bother you?" he asks.

"Your age? No, I don't mind at all."

"Neither do I. I can't help who I'm attracted to."

"Are you trying to convince yourself or something?" I sit up a little. My hair falls down over us, and Edward plays with the ends of it.

"Maybe I am." He runs a hand over his face. "I know that what we're doing isn't right, but I'm happy with you."

"Have you ever done this before?" This is probably the first serious conversation we've ever had, but I want to hear Edward's side of things.

"What, an affair? God, no. I wouldn't have dreamed of this a month ago. But... with you... I can't explain it. I haven't been attracted to anyone like you before."

I run my hand over his chest to calm him. I want him to keep talking. I need to know what he's thinking.

"I feel... right. For the first time in my life, I feel right. I like being with you. I can finally breathe." Edward sighs heavily.

He leans over me and stares into my eyes. "I know you're young and you could probably have any guy you want. You probably don't want to get involved with an old man like me, but please consider it. I have this _need_ to be with you. It's an urgency that I've never felt. I can't explain it."

I reach up and feel along his cheek. It's stubbled a little and feels abrasive against my palm. "I want to be with you too, but as what? Your girlfriend?"

He rests his head in the crook of my neck. "I don't know what to call you."

"I think the proper term is 'mistress'."

He chuckles a little and kisses my skin. "Be my girlfriend."

I of course tell him I will because there isn't any other response. I've already taken a dangerous turn and don't have the will power to go back. That might make me a bad person, but I can't help it. How am I supposed to deny him? I'm not strong enough.

"What are you thinking, Bella?" His fingers dance up my body, creating shapes on my stomach and bare chest.

"What about your wife?" I ask, hiding my face into some pillows. I don't really want to hear his answer.

"My wife," he breathes. "Our entire marriage has been about her. She makes me miserable most of the time. I'm done caring. It's my turn to be happy."

"So why don't you divorce her?"

"I don't know," he admits, "The kids, maybe. She's just... convenient. We've been together since we were sixteen and at some point in our relationship, I did love her. I probably always will in some capacity, but I don't anymore."

"Has she ever cheated on you?" I kiss his cheek.

He nods. "Twice. The first time was after Theo was born. She told me that I wasn't exciting enough for her. We went to counseling and it worked, I guess. Then a couple of years later, I caught her again. At that point, I could care less. She claims she's not seeing anyone now. I don't know if I believe her, though."

"That's quite the story." I lay back down and huff. "I can't believe we're having an affair. Is that what this is?"

"I think so."

Edward continues talking. I think he likes having some to converse with and I'm more than happy to listen. He vents for an hour.

He tells me about how he and Irina started dating at sixteen, then got married at eighteen. They were madly in love, like young kids are. They supported each other in their careers and kids just seemed like the natural progression for their lives.

"I want to keep seeing you." Edward hovers over me. "I haven't scared you off yet?"

"Of course not. I know what I'm getting myself into." I pull his face down to mine. "I'm not going anywhere."

We fuck again. This time, we're both too exhausted to last long, and he collapses on top of me. His weight feels so good. We stay connected for a long time.

We fall asleep together. I normally don't like other people in my bed, but Edward's arms keep me happy. I sleep soundly until my brain wakes me up at seven sharp. I usually don't use alarm clocks.

I roll over and see Edward breathing heavily. Some hair has fallen into his face, and I lightly brush it away. He groans and comes alive at my touch.

"Good morning, beautiful." He smiles.

He tries to kiss me, but I back up quickly. "I have a strict no morning kiss rule."

"I don't mind morning breath." He tries again.

"But I do. It's so embarrassing," I squeak.

"Come on, Bella. Don't deny me." He is having fun and I don't appreciate it very much.

I eventually give him a small peck, but that's all.

We lay together, just feeling each other. I wrap my feet around his legs because they're cold, and he then rubs my hips with his hands. I suddenly become too hot and have to kick the sheets off.

We begin kissing again, but his phone on the nightstand interrupts us. It vibrates violently, almost as if it knows what we're doing.

Edward turns and sighs when he reads the screen. He picks up, "Hello, Irina... No, I'm busy... Not right now..."

I don't want to listen in, so I try to leave the bed, but Edward pulls me back towards him. He kisses my shoulder, while talking to his wife on the phone. It's so wrong, but I can't get enough of his lips. I keep myself quiet until he ends the call.

"She's calling from her connection flight in New York. She wants me to pick her up from the airport in about an hour."

"Oh?" I try not to sound disappointed.

"Bella, look at me," he orders and turns me around. "I promise you that I want this... thing between us to continue. I've never been involved with anyone, but I want to keep seeing you."

He sounds so sincere. His eyes tell me he's not lying. He's scared of how this is going to play out, but he wants to try.

"I will never treat you as second-best. If you call me to come over, I'll be here. If you want to go out for dinner, I'll take you. I don't want you to feel like we're hiding."

"Even though we are?"

He doesn't have any reply for that.

"I'm not ashamed of you, Bella."

I smile and nod.

We take a shower and wash the sex from our bodies. He touches me in the most intimate spots, but we don't fuck. My legs are like jelly when we get out. Edward dries my body off with a towel and is so attentive and caring.

I watch from the bed as he dresses in the same workout clothes that he arrived in.

"Will anybody know that you were here?" I asks.

Edward begins putting on his socks and shoes, "Nope. The kids won't be back for another couple of hours and Irina won't even care. She never asks what I've been up to while she's away."

I don't want to admit it to myself, but I'm sad to see him go.

We stand at the door for longer than necessary, saying goodbye as if we're never going to see each other again. We're really saying goodbye to our fantasy bubble that we've created. It's back to the real world where we have to pretend that we're just a dentist and his patient.

"Remember what I told you." Edward kisses my lips. "I want this to continue."

"I like that idea very much, Dr. Cullen." I grab hold of his shirt, pulling him to me.

"Come to lunch on Monday. We can go to the museum."

I agree and reluctantly let him go after a minute of kissing later.

I shut the door so I don't see him leave. Is this how it's going to be every time? I'm hoping I can train myself to not feel so affected by this as the weeks continue.

After a minute of reflection, I race to my phone and call Rosalie. She's angry at me for waking her so early, but I have to tell her.

She's proud of me for finally doing something without over-thinking it, as she says. I don't go into details even though she begs me.

We hang up and I can't help but smile. My cheeks hurt as I make myself a small breakfast and sit on the couch to watch the morning news.

Edward texts me at noon. Thanking me for the wonderful night and telling me how excited he is for Monday. He equates himself to a kid on Christmas morning.

_I wish I never left your bed-E_

_Me too. It's boring here now. I guess I have to go back to unpacking by myself.-B_

_We made such a good team-E_

_Are you back at home?-B_

_Yes and Irina is telling me all about her trip to Brazil. She's been home for three hours and is already talking about leaving for another assignment. This time it's Romania.-E_

_For how long?-B_

_A week, at least-E_

This makes me feel happy. Should it?

The rest of the weekend is spent with me watching foreign movies, for some reason. Netfilx sucked me into its rabbit hole. I stayed curled up on the couch in a blanket.

Edward texts me every day. We end up talking for hours about nothing in particular, but it's nice to know that he wants to stay connected.

Monday morning comes around and I go to the gym. I didn't work out all weekend so I push myself as hard as I can on the treadmill. I inquire at the front desk about a yoga class and the lady tells me that I should definitely join.

I rush home and dress in a lacy royal blue dress. I had some business to take care of with my accountant today, so I took a little extra time with my appearance.

Edward texts me good morning and reminds me of our lunch date later on in the day. I tell him that I certainly hadn't forgotten and am looking forward to it.

The time with my accountant is spent moving a lot of Charlie's money around. I have to make sure that everything is where it should be. I give to a few charities in Charlie's name and make sure that he is remembered as something more than just my father.

I also spend time replying to a few job offers that have been offered to me in the past couple of weeks. They are just secretary positions in business offices or law firms, but I know I need a job at some point so that I won't get bored with my days. I make sure that all my offers know I won't be starting until after the summer, though. I need time to settle Charlie's estate and other odd ends.

By the time I pull up to the museum, I am giddy at the prospect of seeing Edward again.

I wait for him at the entrance, and he bounds up the stairs towards me. He's in scrubs again today, but I don't mind. He looks good.

"Hi." He smiles, out of breath and panting.

"Hello, Dr. Cullen."

He kisses my cheek. He tries for more, but I keep him at bay. If we go further, I might do something inappropriate.

Edward pays for my ticket, and we walk around a part of the museum that we haven't visited before.

"I've been thinking about you all weekend." He holds his hands behind his back. I keep mine occupied with holding my clutch.

"I kept myself busy so I wouldn't call you to come back over," I admit.

"You should have. The rest of my weekend was less than thrilling." He sighs. "If my kids weren't around, I might not be able to live in the same house as Irina."

"It sounds like you two don't have a very good relationship."

"We're amicable most of the time, but at this point, we're more of roommates."

I want to just tell him to get a divorce, but it's not my place.

We continue to talk about our weekends and he tells me how proud he is of George, who scored the winning home run for his baseball team. It was obvious how much he loved his kids. I'm surprised when Edward says that Jonathan Francis asked about me and when we were going to the park again.

"Tell him that I would be willing to go anytime." I take a bite of my salad. "I really did enjoy him."

"He's enthralled with you," Edward takes my hand on the top of the table, "just like his father."

"Dr. Cullen, you're going to make me blush."

I enjoy listening to Edward. Even when he tells me about a patient he had this morning with a chipped bicuspid, I find him fascinating.

"Am I boring you?" He suddenly stops mid-story.

"No, not at all," I say truthfully.

He nods and goes on. I could listen to him talk teeth forever.

We walk slowly towards the exit and wait for our cars. Once again, I don't want to leave him, but I know he has to go. Our time together is over.

But we make promises to see each other again later on in the week.

* * *

**A/N: **A shorter chapter, I know. But a lot of questions answered and many more to come.

As always, everyone should thank Jenny0719 because she makes these stories readable.

And I would like to thank all the readers. Feel free to leave a review if you'd like.

All things Twilight related belong to Stephanie Meyer.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

* * *

The next two weeks are... in a word: bliss.

I can't get enough of Edward, and he seemingly can't get enough of me. We see each other during the weeks for lunch, but he can't stay in the city for any length of time because he's caring for the boys while Irina is away. But when the weekends arrive, he's all mine.

We fuck in every room in my house, in a lot of positions. I'm sore all over, but love the feeling. We're sometimes quick and sometimes sensual. It all depends on what we need at that moment.

He always makes me feel like we shouldn't be ashamed of what we're doing. I like staring into his eyes when he climaxes. It's so intense and powerful.

But it's not just about sex. Edward still helps me unpack sometimes and during those times, learn more about him. I complain that I won't ever be done, but secretly don't mind. Neither does he. He says he enjoys it. I introduce him to my obsession with foreign films and we drink wine while I explain certain plot points.

When Edward finds out that I'm fluent in French, he demands that I speak it to him even if he can't understand it. He finds it sexy.

We lay in bed on Friday nights, cuddling and stroking our bodies, soaking up each other's touch. We know that when the next morning comes, he will have to go home to be there for his kids.

"What's your favorite color?" Edward asks me.

"Blue," I reply. "You?"

"Red."

"How bold of you."

"I like to live life on the wild side." He sucks on the pebbled peak of my bare breast.

"Obviously." I giggle.

We're naked and sweaty, too happy to care about the outside world.

"What's your favorite movie?" I ask him.

"I don't know. I haven't watched an adult movie in about ten years." Edward laughs. "My life is a revolving door of Disney and Pixar films. I'm partial to _Aladdin." _

"I might need to brush up on my cartoons if I'm going to be hanging out with you."

All too soon, he must leave. George calls and says that he's almost home, so Edward has to get back before them. I hate to see him leave, but I know that he'll be back. He'll always come back.

I call my mother and speak to her for about an hour. She wants to know how I'm doing with the move and finding friends. She says I'm always so secluded and private. She would like for me to be more social. I don't dare mention Edward. Hopefully, she will never have to know about him

As soon as I hang up the phone with Renee, it rings again. I stare at the number and see Alice Whitlock's name flash across the screen.

"That's strange," I pick up, "Hello?"

"_Hi, Bella. I don't know if you remember me, but I'm Alice Whitlock. We met at the museum." _

"Of course. Jasper's wife. How are you doing?"

"_I'm fine. I was actually calling to invite you to Red Sox game. Jasper loves baseball and we have an extra ticket. We thought you might like to come." _

"Oh, that's... very thoughtful of you, but I wouldn't want to intrude."

"_Are you sure? You can't live in Boston and not have gone to a Red Sox game. It's kind of a necessity." _

I think about the conversation I had with Renee not five minutes earlier. I can hear her voice pushing me to accept the invitation.

"You know what, sure. I would love to go," I tell Alice.

"_Really? That's great. I'll make sure to have your ticket ready. Meet us at Fenway tomorrow." _

I make sure to thank her again, and we talk for a few minutes. She's very warm and welcoming. I find that I want to keep talking with her. We hang up, and she reminds me of the time and place of the game.

I don't speak with Edward for the rest of the day. I'm trying not to monopolize his time.

The game is at one in the afternoon, so I start getting ready a little before noon. I usually don't dress so casually unless I'm working out, but I assume that a sporting event called for less formal clothing.

I wear a white pair of jean shorts and a Boston Red Sox T-shirt Phil gave me when he found out I was moving to Boston. I also got a cap and carry it with me, even though I hate hats. I slip my feet into a bright red pair of Keds and commend myself on coordinating an outfit around a baseball team.

I search the routes to Fenway on my computer and come to the conclusion that it would be easier to just take the train. It will be less of a hassle for me to find parking, and I don't have to worry about walking too far since there's a train stop near my house and another right at the entrance to the ballpark.

It's easy to find Fenway since everyone is going that way and wearing Red Sox gear. I just follow the crowd and arrive at the park in no time. I call Alice to see where she is.

"Bella!" I hear her shout my name, but can barely see her in the crowd of people. Jasper's blonde hair is visible, though, so I just walk towards him. I assume she's near.

"I'm so glad you decided to come." Alice pops up out of nowhere. She hugs me, and I hug her back. "I'll finally have someone to talk to. All Jasper wants to do is watch the game. Not that I'm opposed to it, but baseball is only fun for about six innings before I start to get bored."

She's able to talk a mile a minute, and I have to really pay attention to get every word.

"Thanks for inviting me," I tell them both.

"It's no problem," Jasper says. "We want you to feel welcome and you were the first person Alice suggested when we realized we had an extra ticket."

The Whitlocks are very chatty, and I feel like they actually want to get to know me. I enjoy their company. They're dressed in similar clothing to mine, and Alice is carrying a large foam finger. She says it's lucky.

We go through the lines of people into the ballpark and then begin navigating our way to our seats. We're right behind first base, which Jasper tells me is a wonderful place to be. I'm shocked at how big the park is and keep looking up into the rafters so I can see just how high the bleachers go.

"There they are!" Alice shouts and begins pulling me down the stairs towards our seats.

I stop in my tracks when I see a shock of auburn hair that's just as unruly as how I left it yesterday morning.

As we move closer, I see that Edward isn't the only one here. He's brought his entire family; the four boys and Irina. He didn't tell me she was back.

"Oh, um..." I try to stop Alice from taking me down there, but she's strong for a little person.

"Come on, Bella. You can sit by me."

"Alice, maybe we should get some drinks or something to eat first," Jasper suggests.

"Yes!" I use this as my excuse to keep away for as long as possible.

"No, we can do that after the first ball is thrown."

"Damn," I hear Jasper mutter. He says under his breath that he wants a beer.

We arrive at our seats and Alice makes sure everyone can see me. We're seated in the row in front. "You guys remember Bella, right? I invited her to the game today."

I'm standing right in front of the entire Cullen family.

Edward chokes on some water that he's drinking from a bottle, but quickly recovers. It's obvious that he didn't know I was coming.

"Bella, it's so nice to see you again." Irina stands up and places her sunglass on top of her head before hugging me.

"You, too. It's been too long."

"I know, but I'm glad you came. We can catch up during the game."

I take a peek at Edward and he's the perfect picture of calm, leaning back in his seat. He places a cap on his head and hides his face somewhat.

"Let me introduce you to the boys," Irina says, pulling me down the line. "This is my oldest, George."

He looks just like I imagine Edward would have twenty years ago. Bright green eyes, strong face, and the same color hair. Actually Edward's features are present in all of his boys. I hardly see any of Irina.

"It's nice to meet you." I shake George's hand. He has a strong grip, much like his father, and I can tell that he's tall even though he's sitting.

"You, too." He nods with tight smile. Although George is kind, he's really not interested in meeting me. He's more focused on the players warming up on the field.

"And this is Theo," Irina moves on to the next one.

Again, the same features as Edward, just younger. His face is dotted with freckles and his hair is sticking up in all kinds of directions, which Irina tries to fix, but is unsuccessful.

"Hi." He waves at me before I'm pushed down the line.

"This is Seb."

The boy beamed and asked me if I liked baseball. I lie and nod. Unlike the rest of his family who is dressed in Red Sox attire, Seb is in an Atlanta Braves shirt, which is the opposing team today.

I ask him about it and he replies, "I always wear the other teams' stuff. It makes Dad mad."

I can tell he's the mischievous one of the group and make a point to watch out for him.

"Bella!" Jonathan Francis stands up on his chair and tries to reach for me. "Boy, am I glad you're here!"

"Hi. I was wondering when we'd meet again." I am genuinely happy to see him.

"I have to tell you all about my new toy car. Daddy bought it for me. It can actually drive."

"I can't wait to see it," I tell him.

"And of course you know Edward." Irina points to her husband.

I remember to keep my breathing calm and try not to look directly into his eyes. I know I'll crumble if I do.

"Hello." I keep my hands to myself.

"Hi, I didn't know you would be here today."

"Alice invited me at the last minute."

He takes another sip of his water and nods, without saying anything else.

Alice pulls me away from him, towards our seats at the end of the row in front.

The game begins, but I can't even begin to think about paying attention. I cheer when I'm supposed to and clap like everybody else, but I can only think about Edward. He's so close and yet so far. As cliché as that might sound, I now understand the phrase.

I occupy my time with Alice. She's quite the chatterbox.

"So, how are you enjoying the move?" she asks.

"I love the city and everyone seems to be really friendly."

"Good. I hoped you weren't all alone here. I don't know how people move someplace where they don't know anyone. I would die." She talks with her hands a lot. I have to be weary of that, or I might get hit in the face.

"It's not that bad."

"What about work? Do you have a job lined up?"

"None right now, but I got offered a job as a docent at MFA. I think I might do that. I would just be in charge of tours and small things of that nature, but I feel like I would enjoy it."

"Oh, I'm sure. You seem to love art."

I turn around only once, pretending to crack my neck. Edward has JF in his lap and their laughing together. As soon as my head turns, he must sense my gaze. He looks at me with penetrating eyes.

I go back to the game before we have the chance to get in trouble.

"Are you thirsty?" I ask Alice half an hour later.

"No, I'm okay."

"Well, I'm going to go get something." I stand up.

"We can order it if you want." She points to the people walking around bringing drinks and snacks.

"I want to get up and stretch my legs a bit. I'm going to go walk around," I tell her and start to climb the stairs up to the mezzanine level where the food is located.

The lines are long, but I don't mind. A chance away from our seats gives me the opportunity to clear my head.

I can't believe I didn't know he would be here. Did I ask Alice? The only time we've been in public together, we've acted like loved-up teenagers. How am I supposed to control myself at this point?

I can smell him sitting behind me in our seats, and his scent just reminds me of the times we've fucked in my bed or in my shower or in my kitchen. It's a little overwhelming.

"What are you doing here?" Edward's voice is gravely in my ear.

I nearly jump out of my skin.

"I'm standing in line for a beer." I reply calmly.

"You know what I mean." He comes to stand in front of me. His hat is still on, low over his brow.

"I didn't know you would be here." The line moves forward and I do as well. Edward follows.

"You should have told me."

"I don't have to give you detailed schedules of my days, Edward. I can go anywhere I please. If I want to come to a baseball game, I will."

"Bella, this isn't a joke." He grabs my arm, making sure I'm turned towards him. "I can't..."

"You can't what?" I rip it away from him.

"You should have told me," he repeats, ripping off his cap and running a hand through his untamable hair.

"As I said, I didn't know you were making a family day out of this."

Without warning, Edward pulls me from the line. I was almost at the front, but he yanks me down the hallway and into a more secluded part of the park. He checks doors, but they're all locked.

He finally finds one. It's a broom closet, and he pushes me inside, slamming the door shut. He pushes me against it and presses his body against mine.

I gasp at the sudden sensations coursing through my body.

"I'm not mad that you're here. I'm mad at myself for not being able to control my cock." He takes my hand and places it on his hardened erection. "I'm mad because I can see you and be near you, but can't touch you. It's driving me crazy."

With quick movements, he unbuttons my shorts and yanks them down my legs. My underwear is gone as well, and he lifts me up.

"We can't do this," I pant as his lips attack my throat.

"We're only on the fourth inning. I won't make it through the rest of the game if we don't fuck right now." He growls and I feel him at my entrance. "You're so wet."

"I have been since the game started," I whine, needing him inside of me now.

"You look so sexy in your little shorts. I almost jumped you when you first got here." He pierces me in one motion.

"Oh, God," I cry out, feeling him working me against the door. He's so masterful. My hands hold onto his straining biceps.

He's whispering dirty things into my ear about how hot I look and how hard he was during the game. I feel so naughty just thinking about what we're doing in a Red Sox supply closet.

"You're so tight, Bella." He's breathing harshly and I feel sweat drip onto the exposed parts of my body.

I tell him to push into me harder. I need him, all of him.

"I can't last any longer." I pull at his hair.

"Let go. Let it all go."

I do as he says and my body collapses against him. I shake and ride out my orgasm as he continues to pump in and out of my body. This feels like nothing we've ever done before. This is animalistic and feral and brutal. I love it.

He grunts a couple of times before I feel him start to slow. It takes a couple of seconds before he's completely still.

His head rests on my shoulder. I am still against the door with my fingers twirling in his hair.

"I hate that we can't be like this all the time." Edward's voice is raspy and filed with lust. "You're quickly becoming one of the best parts of my life."

"I like to hear that," I say truthfully.

"Did I hurt you?" He lifts his head up and looks at me with caring eyes.

"No, I'm okay. More than okay."

Edward pulls out of my body and sets me on the ground. I can feel his cum dribbling down my leg. He finds a package of paper towels and rips them open. He wipes his juice from my thighs, kissing them tenderly. He then pulls back on my panties and jeans.

"You look entirely too good for me not to fuck you against a door," he chuckles when he stands, buttoning me back up.

"We shouldn't have done that."

He shrugs. "We're already going to Hell. I figure we might as well go out in style."

"Are you sure you're not going through some kind of mid-life crisis?" I smooth out his hair.

"Maybe I am, but I'm enjoying the fuck of it." He pats my butt roughly.

We leave the supply closet and go in separate directions, me heading to the bathroom and him back to the seats. I spend a good amount of time fixing my hair and wiping away any signs of my sinning.

By the time I arrive back to my seat, Edward is enthralled in the game and drinking a beer. He once again has JF on his lap, pointing to some players on the field.

"Finally. You've been gone forever," Alice sighs.

"Sorry," I shrug.

"Where's the bathroom. I really have to go." She stands up.

I give her the directions, and she bounces up the stairs.

A couple of minutes pass before Irina takes Alice's seat next to me. I bristle a little, but keep my calm.

"Hi, Bella." She smiles. She's very pretty and it intimidates me a little, but don't let her hear it in my voice.

"Hello, Irina." I smile back.

"I just wanted to thank you again for taking care of Jonathan when I dropped him off at Edward's office."

"It was no problem. He was great."

She settles into the seat. "I didn't mean to do that. Edward hates it. He seems to hate most of the things I do these days."

It sounds like she has a few things to say, so I goad her. "Really? How long have you two been married?"

"Coming up on sixteen years now, but it keeps getting harder and harder. I don't know what happened to us."

"Sometimes, people just grow apart." I shrug.

"He just... doesn't understand my life anymore." Irina leans closer to me. "When we were young, we had so much drive. We were going to rule the world together, but now all he wants to do is slow down."

"Well, you have kids. It's understandable."

"No, it's not. I travel three hundred days a year, but I still make time for family. He can, too. Edward should be happy for me, but all he does is complain."

I want to slap her. She is so annoying and diluted. Did she even hear what she was saying? How could her view of the world be so one-sided? It wasn't all about her. Irina's relationships with her husband and children were being destroyed by her selfishness.

That was the main problem.

"I'm sorry to be dumping all of this on you." Irina put her hand on mine. It took everything ounce of strength I had not to pull away. "I just feel like we're connected somehow."

I almost laugh. "It's alright," I say.

"The truth is, I do love Edward, but he's changed. We're working through it, though. We've started couple's counseling. Well, we've been doing it for about a year and it has helped, I just want faster results."

"You two still go see a therapist?" I ask.

"Yeah, twice a week... when I'm in town. Nothing seems to be working."

"I'm sure it will all work out." I pat her knee.

"I'll let you get back to the game." She gets up from her seat, going back to sit behind me, next to Edward.

He doesn't pay any attention to her, preferring to focus on Seb who has taken JF's spot on his lap.

When Edward and I had begun out little affair, I was concerned about how it might affect his wife if she found out. Now, not so much. She had a wonderful man right in front of her and was taking him for granted. Our talk had put a few things into perspective for me; any doubt I had before today had since evaporated.

I lean back in my chair and smile to myself, thinking about how hard Edward fucked me in the supply closet.

* * *

**A/N: **Oh my. Naughty Edward and Bella. Can you believe those two? Can't get enough of each other.

It's about to get real juicy.

As usual, thanks to Jenny because she's amazing in every way. There would be no stories without Jenny.

Also, thanks to everyone who's reading this sordid, inappropriate, raunchy story. Your reviews make my day.

All things Twilight related belong to SM.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

* * *

I giggle as Edward rolls onto me and tries to nibble at my neck. I cover myself in the blankets to hide.

"Bella, you're not playing fair," he whines. "Come on. Don't be shy."

"Leave me alone."

We're naked in my bed. It's Thursday night, but Edward is staying the entire weekend. The office is closed tomorrow for some reason, and Irina is off on another assignment. Edward suggested to the boys that they spend a couple of extra days at their grandparents', and they jumped at the idea. He came over right after they left.

This time, he brought a bag with things he needed.

We've never done this before. He's only stayed one night at most, but I like the idea of him being here more often. I don't have anything planned for us to do, but Edward seems to think that we can stay in bed. We've already had sex three times, and he's only been here for half the afternoon.

I might not make it through the weekend.

"Edward, I'm hungry." I push him off of me and try to get out of bed.

He pulls me back, nipping at my bare shoulder.

"I'm not finished with you yet." He kisses down my body, parting me wider for him. I know he's about to devour me between my legs, and my eyes roll back into my head as he goes lower to my stomach.

We don't have on any clothes, so I'm already bare and naked, waiting for another release.

Edward's lips are searing through my skin, and he tests my patience, licking the inside of my thighs. He gets closer with each movement, but refrains from diving right in.

"You taste so sweet in my mouth, Bella." He places his lips lightly on my center. A jolt of pleasure shoots through my spine, and I gasp.

He's so good and keeps me on the edge of my orgasm. His tongue is slow and languid, tasting mywetness. No one has ever made me feel like this, and I let him know just how much I appreciate him. I thread my fingers through his hair and pull. He moans and places my legs over his shoulders so that his tongue can go deeper.

"Please, Edward." I tug on his hair and beg him for my release.

With a renewed fervor, he eats me out until I can't take it anymore, and my legs clap around his head. I shake and tremor as my orgasm crashes around inside of my body. I slam my eyes shut and make an embarrassing squeaky noise.

In my post-coital lust, I can't think straight and my breathing is hard to control. I see Edward sit up with a smug smile on his face. He wipes his lips with the back of his hand and stares down at me.

"You're far too good at that," I sigh.

"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself." He chuckles, laying his head on my stomach. I scratch his scalp again because I know he likes that.

My phone rings on the nightstand, and I blindly reach for it. I don't recognize the number, but pick up anyway.

"Hello?" I ask.

"_Hi, Bella? It's Irina. I hope you don't mind, but I got your number from Edward." _

I keep my calm and don't let her know that I'm shocked she's calling me. Especially now.

"Oh, hi, Irina. No, I don't mind."

Edward looks up at me, confused. I shrug and his eyebrows furrow.

"_Are you okay? You sound out of __breath__?" _she asks me kindly.

"I'm okay. I just got back from a run." I lie easily. If only she knew what I had just been doing to be so out of breath.

"_Well I'm calling from Texas. I'm covering a few things down here and won't be back until later this week." _Of course, I already know this, but act like I don't.

"That's nice," I reply.

"_I wanted to actually invite you to Edward and Jonathan's joint birthday party. It's going to_ _be_ _right when I get back and I know they'd love for you to be there." _

"Oh... no. I don't think so." I sit up slightly on my elbows. "We don't really know each other."

"_No, I insist. I'm getting all of our friends and family together for the party._ _I_ _really want you to be there. Plus, I don't think Jonathan would ever forgive me if I didn't invite you." _

I bite my lip in thought. This has the potential to blow up in my face, but it isn't like I can hide myself away. I should just tell her that I am busy. I could have made up a number of lies and gotten myself out of it, but I don't.

"Sure. I'll be there."

"_Great! Oh, and it's a surprise party so don't tell anyone. It's going to be at Edward 's parents' house in Newport." _

She gives me the date, time, and address of the party and then hangs up. She makes it a point to tell me how busy she is and can't talk any longer.

I place my phone back on the nightstand and slam my head into the pillow.

"Do I want to know why my wife is calling you?" Edward lays his head next to mine.

"She's just invited me to your surprise birthday party."

"And you said you'd go?"

"Obviously."

He nods and pulls me towards him.

"Edward, you're being so calm about this," I exclaim. "This could turn out _very _badly."

"Calm down. We're both adults. We know how to control ourselves in public situations."

"Like the baseball game?" I think back to our naughty tryst a week ago.

He chuckles against my skin, "It's just a birthday party with my friends. You're my friend so of course I want you there."

I breathe out a long stream of air. If he could be at ease with this then so could I.

We lie in bed and cuddle well into the night until we fall asleep. Having Edward wrapped in my sheets, with his arms around me, is the most comforting thing I've ever experienced. He is so sweet and caring when he touches me. He whispers loving things into my ear about how much he likes staying over and how he wishes this could last forever. It puts me right to sleep.

The next morning, we both wake up at the same time, and I use the bathroom first. We're very comfortable around each other. I don't mind having him in my house, touching my things. He leaves a toothbrush over and some of his shower things. It's interesting having men's body wash in my bathroom, but I quickly get used to it.  
Edward and I change into workout clothes, and I drive us to my gym.

At first, I'm weary about us going to such a public place, but Edward explains to me that barely anyone knows him in the city. Besides to his patients, he is unrecognizable.

"Bella, I'm not doing yoga," he complains when I tell him what today's class involves.

"It will be fun. I promise. It's not that bad." I take his hand and try to pull him into the room.

"No, I can just stay out here and lift weights or run. I'll be out when you're done."

"Edward, you're not being fair. You said you would try it."

He sighs, "Bella, I just can't see myself pretending to enjoy yoga."

I place my hands on his chest. "It will make you more flexible. Think of the different options we would have in bed."

He laughs at my obvious attempts to flirt him into it. "Maybe next time." He kisses me before heading to the weights.

I sulk into yoga, but have a great class. The instructor is some crazy pretzel lady who can contort herself into all sorts of shapes. I'm just a beginner and can't even think about some of the positions she suggests, but I try.

My body feels good when I cool down and walk out of the yoga room. Edward is waiting at the door. He's sweaty and the shirt he's wearing sticks to his body. I swallow hard and try to concentrate.

"I might have to try some yoga if I get to watch you twisting like that." He pulls me towards him. I don't even care that he's gross.

"I told you it would be worth it. You never listen to me."

"I should know by now that you're always right." He kisses me sweetly.

We sit in the car, and I drink a full water bottle while Edward calls his parents to check up on the kids. I listen to him laugh and ask them questions about their night. He's so invested in their lives. I let myself wonder how this will affect them if they find out about their father's infidelity. I'm more worried about them than I am Irina.

He hangs up and I drive us to the grocery store near my house. I need to pick up some things for our weekend. We get a cart and start going down the aisles. Edward says that he wants to cook for me and his specialty is a Mexican soup that's better than sex. I take him up on the challenge, and we get the ingredients.

It's so simple, being with him like this. To anyone else, we are a normal couple, shopping for the weekend. We check out, and Edward insists that he pays. I let him and notice that he swipes his credit card.

"Aren't you afraid Irina might check your statements?" I ask.

He chuckles and carries the bags outside. "No. We've always had separate accounts. She's a big proponent of keeping what's hers, hers."

It doesn't sound like they have much of a marriage. But I keep my thoughts to myself.

We make it back to my house and unpack. We shower together and surprisingly, don't have sex. We actually spend time bathing, and it's nice. We dry off and put on pajamas. I think about wearing some sexy kind of lingerie, but decide against it. We won't ever leave the room.

I sit on the counter in the kitchen as Edward starts making his soup. He puts almost every kind of vegetable in the pot, and I'm surprised at how masterful he is with a knife. I would never peg Edward has a chef, but he's doing rather well. I ask if he needs help, and he says no.

I open a bottle a wine and sip from a large glass while I watch him.

"You have any more of that pot?" Edward asks, while chopping up some chicken for the soup.

"Why, you need another hit?" I laugh.

"I was just wondering. A little relaxing never hurt anyone."

"Pace yourself, Dr. Cullen. You're not as young as you think you are."

Edward pushes himself between my legs. "You don't seem to have a problem with my age when we're in bed."

"I didn't say I had a problem with it, but I'm just warning you."

He squints his eyes at me. "Go get the pot, Swan. Light it up."

I jump off the counter and run to retrieve the small Ziploc bag from the family room. I have a joint rolled and lit in no time. I puff and then hold it up to Edward's lips so that he can take a hit.

We smoke and drink until the soup is bubbling. Edward tastes a little and deems it ready for my scrutiny.

"I have to admit, this is delicious." We sit on the couch with big bowls of soup.

"I told you." He smiles proudly.

"I would have never thought you knew how to cook."

"As a parent, it's kind of a necessity. Especially when Irina can't boil water."

"I would love to see what else you have up your sleeves," I tell him truthfully. I like that he knows how to cook.

We fuck after dinner, right on the countertop where I had previously been sitting. Edward doesn't take precautions and slams into me with reckless abandon. \Our kisses are spicy and smoky from dinner.

I scream out that I need him more, and he gives me everything I ask for. We finish in a heap of sweaty limbs against the cabinets, and I lay my head on his lap to catch my breath.

We fall asleep naked on the couch; Edward keeps me covered all night.

The rest of the weekend is perfect. We go shopping again so that he can make me dinner. This time it's chicken Milanese and just as delicious as the night before. It's his turn to pick the movie on Saturday, and we watch some very interesting kung fu films, which I'm not entirely fond of.

Edward finds out that my cable company provides a couple of porn channels, and he's intrigued. We end up watch some very inappropriate stuff while I snuggle up to his side.

"Can you do that?" Edward asks me. The woman on the screen is stretching one leg behind her head as her male counterpoint slides his dick inside of her.

"Maybe after a couple more months of yoga. Anything's possible."

"Really?" He sounds excited.

"Don't count on it, Edward." I pat his stomach. "That doesn't look very comfortable for her."

"I'm sure we can find a happy medium. Just keep up the yoga."

We watch for a little while longer, and the porn gets even raunchier. Now the two stars are engaging in anal, and I feel Edward grow hard under our shared blanket.  
"Can we try that?" he asks me.

I have never attempted it, but tell him I don't mind trying. Just not tonight, I'm too tired.

We turn the channel to something else, but I can't remember what because I quickly fall asleep.

Our weekend is over far too soon and he must leave. I almost want to cry when I close the door shut. It's getting harder and harder to let him go. I don't let myself acknowledge any feelings because it's too dangerous. He's not available for anything other than a physical relationship, and who knows how long this can even last.

I had only known this man for two months and he was already starting to turn my life around.

* * *

**A/N:** Getting spicier by the chapter!

Thanks to Jenny, of course, for this rare mid-week update. Her beta skills are amazing.

Leave a review if you'd like!


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

* * *

I cross the city limits of Newport, Rhode Island and let out a sigh of anticipation. My GPS in the car tells me that I'm about ten minutes away from Edward's parents' house. It's his birthday today and I'm surprisingly cool considering the circumstances.

I make Rose come with me and she's sitting in the passenger's seat, picking at her nails.

"I don't understand why I had to take the train _all_ that way from Philadelphia for just a day." She complains.

"Because you're my sister and I need your support. Suck it up."

"My, my. Aren't we touchy today." Rose teases me, "Scared?"

"No. I'm just trying to keep myself from doing anything stupid."

"Don't worry, Bella. I won't let anything happen. I can't wait to meet his wife. Is she a bitch?"

"Yes." I say without thinking. Maybe it's a little unfair to judge her so quickly, but I can't help it. I hate Irina.

"I know how to deal with bitches. I'm an expert."

We continue the drive through Newport. This town is _very _rich. I'm a privilaged person, growing up with the best in life, but I'm even shocked by the size of the mansions I'm passing. To top it all off, Newport is right on the water. Sailboats are drifting out to sea and creates a very picturesque landscape.

"I think we're here." I say, pulling in front of a large set of wrought iron gates.

A man in black pants and a maroon jacket, comes up to the car, tapping on the window.

"Name," He demands with a clipboard in hand.

"Isabella Swan...and guest." I reply.

"Go on though. A valet will take your car." He smiles.

I drive slowly, my mouth dropped in wonder as trail up the driveway. Edward's parents' house is gigantic. I immediately detect European architecture and styling. The facade was made of bright white limestone and had an expansive red roof that looked like it sparkled in the sunlight. There was a huge fountain in the middle of the circular driveway with golden statues that spouted crystal-clear water.

I knew Edward was rich, but I didn't know he was _this _rich. It made me slightly uncomfortable. I thought this was a small birthday party. I wore a simple summer dress, for God's sake. I wanted to drive home and get one of my ball gowns.

As the man at the gate said, a valet there to take my Range Rover. I grabbed the two wrapped gifts from the backseat before he drove around to the other side of the house.

"I hate rich people." Rose complains as we walk up the front marble staircase to the large wooden and glass doors.

"So says the woman who's stepfather was one of the richest men in the country and who has a pro football player for a husband." I roll my eyes.

"Yeah, but this is a little excessive. How is anyone supposed to compete?" Her head tilted back as she looked up at the house.

"It's not always about competition." I say.

"So says the girl who's competing with a woman over her husband." She smirks and rings the doorbell.

Is that what I was doing? Competing for Edward?

I didn't have time to think about it before the door is ripped open by an over excited Jonathan Francis. He put a smile on my face as he runs towards my legs, wrapping them in his small arms.

"Bella, you made it!"

"I told you I wouldn't miss this."

"And you brought gifts." He pulls back and his eyes go wide, "What's in there?"

"Well, one is for you and the other is for your Daddy." I hold both gifts in each hand, "You can't peak."

"I promise I won't." He bounces up and down. His 'Happy Birthday' hat falls in front of his face and I laugh at how cute he is.

I introduce him to Rosalie who seems just as taken with little JF, before he grabs our hands and pulls us inside. Once again, my mouth is on the floor as we are shuffled through the house.

Everything about this place is gorgeous. Large chandeliers, rich tapestries, marble flooring, golden overlay on almost everything. I would expect something this rich might look gaudy, but it is surprisingly tasteful.

JF goes straight out to the backyard. The grass is bright green and larger than a football field. The place is covered in white tents with a bunch of people enjoying themselves. Birthday festivities covered the lawn with one side reserved for kids and the other for adults. It was two birthdays in one.

"You can put the gifts there." Jonathan Francis points us towards a table that is overflowing with presents.

"I see a bar." Rose takes off to quickly get some alcohol.

JF's mouth goes a mile a minute, wondering what I could have got him. I don't spoil the surprise even though his sweet disposition is making me want to cave. Thankfully, someone comes over to save me.

"Are you bothering these two lovely ladies?" A handsome man with blonde hair and blue eyes lifted JF up onto his shoulders. My heart starts to sputter at how much he looks like Edward. This is clearly his father.

"No, Grandpa. This is my friend Bella." JF says.

"The famous Bella. He won't stop talking about you." The man holds his hand out, "I'm Carlisle, Edward's dad."

"It's so nice to meet you." I shake.

"You are absolutely stunning," Carlisle sets JF down, "I hope you don't mind my forwardness, but I wasn't expecting you to look so...beautiful. Edward told me were."

"Oh, well that's very sweet of you."

From the tone in Carlisle's voice, I can tell that he's not hitting on me. He's really hot for an older guy. And he has a British accent that sounds like he's trying to seduce me, but he's not. He really does seem surprised. Did he think I was going to look like Shrek? And Edward talks about me with his father? Interesting.

"Come on, Grandpa, you told me you would jump on the bouncy house with me." JF started to tug on his grandfather's shorts.

"Okay, okay." Carlisle chuckles, "Make yourself at home, Bella. Irina and Edward are around here somewhere."

I nod and wave as he's pulled away.

I stand around for a second, just surveying the backyard and then decide to head over to the grownup section of the party. I begin to criticize my outfit as I'm walking. I keep pulling down my white lace dress. I didn't realize it was so short. I also start reprimanding myself for wearing red pumps. It's hard to walk on the grass. It's obvious that I slightly overdressed, since everyone else is in jeans or shorts. Thankfully, there were a few older women in summer dresses like mine so I didn't feel completely out of place.

I stand under one of the tents and grab a bottle of water. This seems to be where most of the adults are and I search for Edward without being obvious.

I find him not too far from me and if I concentrate, I can detect his cologne in the small breeze. It's intoxicating. He has his arm around Irina's waist, but they aren't standing very close. It looks kind of awkward. They're talking to someone and laughing. I want to go over there, but don't.

I mentally call Edward's name in my head and it seems to work. He turns his head in my direction and his smile is huge when he sees me. He whispers into Irina's ear and shakes his bottle of beer as if to say, 'I'm going to get a refill', before he begins walking towards me.

He looks so good today in a pair of khaki shorts and a salmon colored Polo shirt with dark brown boat shoes. It's very New England preppy, almost as if he's a model. It's been about a week since I've seen him and he looks tanner than I remember. I like what a I see and have to rub my legs together for some friction.

Edward approaches me cautiously and leans against the bar.

"Can I get you anything?" The bartender asks him.

"Not right now, thanks."

We don't talk at first. I want to touch him, but it takes all my might to keep my hands off.

"You look really beautiful today." He tells me.

"You father said the same thing."

Edward laughs quietly, "So you met the charming senior Dr. Cullen?"

"He was very welcoming."

"I bet he was." Edward turns to me, "Thank you for coming today."

"It's my pleasure. I wouldn't miss Jonathan Francis' birthday for anything."

His face falls slightly, "And what about my birthday?"

"Your present will come later." I whisper to him and discretely touch his toned stomach. He shudders and licks his lips.

I walk away, swaying my hips just a little but more than usual, and head towards Irina just to thank her for inviting me. She's standing with a shorter woman who I know immediately is Edward's mother. She has the same eyes as her son. Bright green and penetrating.

"Hello, sorry for interrupting." I slink over to them.

"Oh, Bella. You're here!" Irina hugs me and I cringe, "I was starting to worry."

I nod, not finding any words.

"Let me introduce you to my mother-in-law." She turns me around, "Bella, this Esme Cullen."

"Thank you for coming. I know Jonathan would be crushed if you missed this." She smiles warmly. I immediately feel at home and it kind of makes me want to cry at how nice she's being to a total stranger.

Esme, like her husband, has a slight accent. From what Edward has told me, she's Russian. She has soft carmel colored hair and a tiny body with a beautiful face. The whole Cullen family is blessed with good genes.

"Excuse me for one second," Irina leaves the group.

I stand with Esme for a second, drinking my bottle of water slowly.

"I love your shoes. I have a pair myself." She points and giggles, "Quite comfortable, no?"

"Extremely, but it is hard to walk on the lawn in them."

"I would imagine."

She is a very sweet woman and we sit down to talk at one of the tables. Esme seems very interested in me. Every time I try to compliment her house or the party, she steers the conversation back to me. I feel like I'm being interrogated. I tell her about my schooling in Switzerland and my father, who she's of course heard of. I tell her about my plans for the future...or lack thereof.

"So my grandkids seems to enjoy you. They told me how much they enjoyed the baseball game." Esme smiles.

"I really like them, even though I've only had extended time with Jonathan Francis. He's so sweet."

"Yes, much like his father." She twirls a piece of hair around her finger, "And the other boys seem to be captivated as well. Theo keeps asking Edward about you."

"Really?" I ask, truly surprised. I only had short conversations with them. I really didn't think any of them had paid any attention to me at the game. I was apparently wrong.

Edward comes over and sits into a chair next to me, "And what are you two talking about?"

"You," Esme says.

"Figures." He rolls his eyes.

The three of us have easy conversation. I nearly choke on my water when Edward places his arm around the back of my chair like it's the most normal thing in the world. I try not to make a big deal out of it, but my heart is racing. He's so close, but so far. That's how it always feels.

George runs over to our table, "Hi, Bella. It's nice to see you again." He smiles.

"You, too. Are you enjoying the party?"

"Of course. Grandma always throws the best birthdays."

"I can imagine."

He turns to his father, "Dad, you have to join our kickball team. I'm captain."

"I'm too old to play with you guys." Edward groans playfully.

"Nonsense," Esme shoos him off, "We need more girl talk."

Edward laughs to himself before getting up and following George to a section of the lawn where people are setting up for a game.

I watch him go for a couple of long seconds.

"My son seems quite taken with you." Esme snaps me out of my fantasizing.

I shake my head, not knowing what to say.

She stares at me for a while, not a glare, but more inspecting. She knows. Of course she does. I can feel it.

Esme gets up from her seat and pats my shoulder before leaving without saying another word.

Her spot is taken by Rose and Alice, who have seem to form a friendship in the time since the party has started. I shake my uneasy feeling and talk with them as if nothing is bothering me.

About an hour passes before everyone gathers to sing 'Happy Birthday'. Edward holds Jonathan Francis while they blow out the candles to the their cake. Everyone claps and I can't keep the smile off of my face.

Esme cuts the cake and then serves it on small plates.

I make my way through the crowd and go over to Edward who is standing alone, eating a slice.

"Happy Birthday," I say.

"Thank you." He moves closer to me. I'm staring at his chest, but don't lift my head, "I wish so badly that I could kiss you right now."

"Please don't say that. I don't have enough self control." I admit.

He pulls away and lets out a sigh. Before we have the chance to talk further, Irina rushes over.

"I'm so sorry, Edward." She sounds out of breath.

"Why?" His brow scrunches in confusion.

"I have to go on an assignment."

Edward shakes his head, "What?"

"I've been called away." She sounds regretful.

"Irina, no. This is supposed to be a birthday _weekend _with the family. You can't just leave."

"I have to, Edward. I'm sorry. There's nothing I can do."

"Have them send someone else." He yells, "This isn't just about me. What about Jonathan? He was looking forward to this weekend."

I feel like I shouldn't be standing here, but I want to watch. I actually want to slap Irina in the face.

"I have to go. There's nothing I can do."

"You're unbelievable!" Edward pulls at his hair, "You promised you wouldn't do this."

"You want me to give up my job?" She seems equally mad, "I've always supported you, why can't you give me the same back?"

"Don't do that, Irina. Don't start with that bullshit."

"Can we not have this conversation right now? I'm leaving whether you like it or not." She starts to walk away.

"How long are you going to be gone this time?" He asks.

"Two weeks." She starts to climb the back stairs into the house.

"Where's Mom going?" Sebastian runs over to us.

"I don't know, son." Edward sighs.

"Is she leaving?"

"Yeah," Edward slams his piece of cake into the nearest trash can.

"Again? Damn it." Sebastian whispers to himself and kicks the ground before running off.

I want to say something. Edward looks so hurt. I think he's almost about to cry. How could she do something like this to him? And the boys?

I take Edward's hand and start pulling him towards the house without a second thought. It's empty in here and I start opening doors, looking for somewhere to hide.

"What are you doing?" Edward asks.

I don't answer him. I find the laundry room and push him inside, closing the door behind me.

He seems to understand and attacks my mouth with his. It's a kiss that hurts, but I want it so badly. His lips take control. His tongue meets mine and I moan.

He's such a good kisser.

Edward rips his shirt above his head and it falls to the floor. He lifts me up by my ass and places me on the washing machine. His lips kiss down my throat.

"Did I tell you how beautiful you look today?" He asks huskily.

"Yes, you did."

"It's true."

His kisses were hot and I could feel the need for him in my core. It was almost too much for me to handle. His hands creep up my legs and under my dress. They pull down my simple cotton panties and I kick them off.

I'm glad that I shaved last night. I'm not totally bare, but didn't leave much. Edward seems to like me better that way.

I heard him fumble with his belt buckle and then felt the head of his cock against me. He was testing my desire.

"I just can't seem to get enough of you." He lays his forehead on mine, looking into my eyes, "What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing's wrong with you. Nothing at all."

I'm almost crying with want.

He slides into me slowly, then pulls out. He goes again and a little deeper. I bite my lip so I don't scream. He's so thick and is stretching me to my limits. I like the feel of him inside me, but I never get used to those first few seconds of contact. I feel like I'm about to explode.

"You're so perfect," Edward places one of his hands on the column of my neck and brings my face towards his.

"I'm far from perfect." I whisper.

"No, you're not. You're perfect for me." He kisses my lips.

His hands occupy themselves with my breasts. He's gentle, but rough at the same time. I roll my hips, making sure to meet him with his thrusts.

I look down at where we're connected and watch my body swallow him up.

"Do you see that?" He asks me, "Your made for me. I just know you are."

I throw my head back and try to get as much oxygen into my lungs as I can, but it doesn't seem to be working.

I feel him spill into me and my legs shake as I finish right after him. He grunts and calls me beautiful again.

We stay still and breathe together. I place my lips on his chest, moving up to his neck and chin, which is stubbly with about one day of hair.

"Happy birthday, Edward." I whisper.

"Best. Gift. Ever." He chuckles and kisses me strongly.

* * *

**A/N: **Happy birthday, indeed!

As always, much thanks to Jenny because...obviously. You know why.

A lot of people don't seem to hate Bella because they've told me she's so selfish, and immature, and of course the "how could she break up a family?" line. That's how I wanted her. Young, but not stupid. She knows perfectly well what she's doing. Does that make her a bad person? No. She's 22 and learning. It's all apart of the process of growing up. Ironically, although expected, the criticisms towards Edward are VERY few.

They're both in the wrong, obviously, but this story is all about shady shit. That's why I love it.

Thanks to everyone who's reading and tell me what you think.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

* * *

Edward walks out of the laundry room first, and I go to the bathroom so that I can clean up. I spend about half an hour fixing my hair and splashing water over my body. Once I feel presentable, I walk back outside.

I am surprised to see that the once sunny sky has turned a deep shade of grey and purple. It seems that the party was over and there were only a few people milling around the lawn.

"Bella, you're still here." George is carrying an armful of presents up the stairs. "We thought you left."

"No, I was helping clean up inside," I lie.

"Oh, okay." He nods. "Grandpa says it's going to rain really badly."

"I can see that. Do you need a hand?" I ask.

"No, it's okay. I've got it," he assures me.

I find Rose helping Alice disassemble the rest of the cake and placing it in baggies.

"Where have you been?" Alice asks.

"Inside," I say without anything more.

Rose snorts because she knows exactly where I've been and what I've been doing. She can probably smell it on me.

As I'm helping the girls, Esme rushes over. "Bella, sweetie, it's supposed to storm. I don't want you driving home in this weather."

"No, it's okay. I can make it."

"I have no doubt that you can, but I just can't let you leave with it like this. It's going to get bad. Please stay the night, for my sake."

I protest some more, but Esme doesn't let up. She tells me that she'll tie me down if she has to. Always the gracious host, she says that Rose and I can stay at the house and she has clothes that we can use.

"There are over thirty rooms here, so you're not taking up any space." She smiles and hugs me tightly. "You're taking such a load off of my shoulders. I won't be worrying about you all night."

"Thank you for this," I say before she smiles and runs off.

"This is an interesting turn of events." Rose giggles and nudges me.

Interesting, indeed.

I continue to help clean up the backyard, but everyone has to run inside fifteen minutes later when the rains start to pour.

Staying for the night is Rose, Alice, Jasper, Edward, his four boys, and me. The two oldest, George and Theodore, get into a fight over who's sleeping where, and Edward has to break them up. I don't think he knows I'm spending the night yet, but I don't have time to tell him before Esme is pulling me up the stairs.

"You really do have a beautiful home," I mention.

"It's been in my family for a _long_ time. I would get rid of it if there wasn't so much history here."

"Get rid of it?" My voice goes up an octave in surprise.

"It's just too much upkeep." Esme shakes her head. "Especially for just Carlisle and me. We don't need anything this big. But we only stay during the summer, so it's not too bad."

"This is your summer home?" I try not to sound so shocked. I was rich, having inherited money from Charlie, but Esme and I were in two different categories. She was far ahead of me.

"Carlisle and I talked about giving this place to Edward and Irina but... Well, that just hasn't worked out too well."

My stomach does a little flip at the thought of Edward and his wife sharing this beautiful home with their kids. I don't like the pictures in my head, so I change the subject.

"Thank you again, for letting us stay."

"It's not a problem." Esme smiles and shows me to one of the guest rooms. "Rose is right across the hall."

Everything is ornate and beautifully detailed. A dark wooden, four-poster bed sits in the middle of the room, covered in light blue sheets. The rug is a deep, red color with intricate stitching.

"I've left you some towels on the dresser and there are clothes in here for you to wear." She clasps her hands together.

"Thank you."

Esme leaves me alone in the room, and I sit on the bed to think. The clock on the nightstand reads 7:00pm. I'm not tired, but don't want to venture outside.

I strip out of my clothes and decide to take a shower. The bathroom is made of pink colored marble and shiny apparatuses. The sink alone probably cost more than my car. The shower was impressively large, and water falls from its ceiling. The bath soaps and shampoos smell nice, but are not overly floral.

I set the water on hot and just stand there for about fifteen minutes, washing away the day. I feel a blast of cold air as the shower door opens and then closes.

"You're just trying to kill me, aren't you?" Edward whispers into my ear. I can feel his hard body behind me. My skin is so sensitive to his touch, that I can feel the hair on his chest and legs prickling my flesh.

He uses the shower gel as lube and takes me roughly. I brace myself against the walls and let him hit spots within me that I never knew I had. I keep myself quiet somehow.

I'm literally quivering by the time we're done, and Edward lifts me into his arms, taking me out of the shower to the bedroom. He dries us off and then dresses me in the clothes that Esme left.

Edward's slow with my panties, gazing at me so intensely that I almost jump him again. He rolls a pair of silk pajama pants onto my legs and then a simple shirt. He's also brought a change of clothes, just pants, though.

I lay on top of him as we cool off. He plays with the ends of my wet hair.

"I think your mother knows about us," I say quietly.

"I wouldn't doubt it. She's intuitive like that."

"She hates me for it. I just know she does."

Edward kisses my forehead. "No one hates you. Please don't think like that."

I knew this relationship wasn't just physical. I could feel it. When I was away from him, my chest ached. When I saw him, I couldn't help the smile that was on my face. I needed to make a choice to stay and further ruin his life or let him go.

"You can't leave. I need you too much." Edward places kisses along my neck, answering my silent question.

I nod silently and let him push between my legs. We don't have sex again, but the contact is all I need to feel close to him.

Edward leaves my room an hour later, and he tells me that I should come downstairs since no one is in bed. Everyone's playing games or watching movies or telling stories.

I sit on the large leather couch and chat with Alice. She's incredibly lively tonight, and it's hard to keep up with her enthusiasm. JF comes and settles on my lap. He's tired from today's festivities and rests his head on my chest.

The storm is still raging outside, and I'm actually kind of glad that Esme is making us stay the night. It looks brutal.

"Did you have fun at your party?" I ask, running my fingers through his hair.

He nods. "I liked my gift. Thank you, Bella."

I got him a one hundred piece set of blocks. He could build slides and roads for his cars or whatever his imagination could dream up.

"It's no problem," I tell him.

"What did you get, Daddy?"

"A nice watch," I reply.

"He likes it. He told me so," JF says tiredly.

I look over at Edward, who is playing some kind of Xbox game with George. On his wrist, I see the shiny silver watch I had bought. I hide my smile in Jonathan Francis' hair.

"Are you coming with us on our camping trip tomorrow?" JF asks me.

"No, I don't think so. I have to go home."

"Please come, Bella." Sebastian jumps over the back of the couch and settles next to us. "It's going to be fun."

"I need to take my sister home. She has a train to catch tomorrow."

"Bella, how about this: I drive home in your car and then take a cab to the train station. Then Edward can drive you back when they leave. Sound good?" Rose smiles at me. It's a wicked smile that tells me she's trying to push me into this.

"No, that doesn't sound good," I say, trying to sound neutral. "I have things to do at home."

"Oh, Bella. Come on," Esme almost whines, "I need another woman along with me. Alice refuses to go."

"Camping is not for me." Alice shudders in disgust.

"Yeah, Bella. Don't let us down." Edward smirks. "I like Rose's idea."

I sigh and think for a second. I need more excuses. "I don't have any clothes."

"Got it covered. Don't worry about a thing." Esme waves her hand as if it's nothing.

I need to say 'no', but JF looks up at me with wide green eyes, begging without words.

"Alright, I guess I can go." I let out a shaky laugh.

There's joyous celebration at the fact that I'm going on this camping trip. Apparently, it's a big deal. Edward tells me that they do it every year for his birthday. He pulls me into a secluded hallway and kisses me, saying how happy he is I'm coming. I smile at pull him close.

The next morning, Jonathan Francis bounds into my room and nearly gives me a heart attack.

"Bella, you have to get up! It's almost time for camping," he shouts.

"Oh my God." I roll over and stuff my head under a pillow.

"Young man, get out of here! I warned you." Carlisle's melodic, accented voice drifts into the room.

"I was just making sure she was awake." JF gets off of the bed and I hear his tiny feet run away.

"Sorry about that, Bella," Carlisle apologizes. "We'll be leaving in about an hour. You can have breakfast if you want some."

"Thank you," I groan.

I hear the door shut and try to get ten more minutes of sleep, but it doesn't work.

Of course, Esme has provided me with essentials. Dark washed jeans, a red and blue checkered plaid shirt, and mahogany brown boots that come to my knees. Everything is my size, which I find a little scary. Even the jeans are perfect. How did she know?

I pull my hair into a ponytail and then leave my room. Rose is coming out across the hall at the same time I am.

"I'm not talking to you," I say immaturely.

"Why?"

"Because your stupid plan to send me on this trip is going to get me in trouble."

"I don't understand what the problem is. You and your lover are going on a camping trip with his family."

"Keep your voice down." I push her against the wall. "You're going to get me into trouble."

"Maybe you should have thought about that before you started sleeping with a married man. You like him, I can tell. Why not go after him?"

"Because... I can't. You know why."

"Well, there's nothing you can do about it now. The fact still remains that you're falling for a married man. The opportunity is presenting itself and you need to take it. Irina's not here. I thought that was a sign."

"I'm not falling for him."

"Keep telling yourself that." She pushes me away and stomps down the stairs.

I calm myself before I join the family.

The storm has passed, and the sky is a calm blue outside. Sun is pouring in through the windows, and the house feels so warm.

The kitchen table is covered in all kinds of food. Esme seems to be happy cooking massive portions for her boys.

"Hi, Bella!" Edward nearly jumps up to greet me when I walk in.

"HI." I wave to everyone.

Theo, Edward's second oldest, sits next to me and keeps asking if I know how to build a fire. He gives me much needed tips on their camping trip, and it is obvious that the whole family is excited about this. JF is practically bouncing off the walls. Even George, who is usually stoic, is talking rapidly about his plans for the trip.

Rose leaves after she has breakfast with promises to come back soon. Everyone really likes her, including Esme, who nearly cries when she starts walking out of the door. I still am not really speaking to my sister at the moment, but we hug goodbye before she pulls my car out of the driveway.

"So, now that you've trapped me in your web, what should I expect from this?" I ask Edward.

"Family fun." He places his arm around the back of my chair, like he did yesterday. I love it when he does that. I feel closer to him.

"I'm not much of an outdoors girl."

"But you've got a sporty body. You'll manage," he whispers.

"Sporty body? What is that exactly?"

"You work out. You're not afraid to sweat."

"You'd know that better than anyone, right?" I purr, trying to push him as far as he can go.

"Stop tempting me, Isabella Swan." He chuckles and backs away.

I straighten out in my chair and grin to myself as I sip some coffee. My grin falls when I see Esme looking at us from across the kitchen, still at the stove. She immediately bows her head and gets back to work, but I know she saw us.

"Come on, Bella. You can help me load up the car," Sebastian tells me ten minutes later.

There is a lot of sporting equipment and coolers filled with food. I grab fishing poles and carry them to the truck that Esme will be driving up the mountain to the site. She told me she doesn't like the hike, just the camping. She asked if I wanted to join her in the car, but I decided to stay with Edward. It was starting to sound like fun, the more I thought about it.

George hooks up a couple of kayaks on top of the truck and asks me I've ever been in one. I nod and tell him about my rapids trip through the Alps after I graduated high school. He seems impressed and makes me promise to "teach him my skills", as he puts it.

Carlisle hands me a large backpack that I'll be using during the hike.

"Make sure you have a lot of water," he tells me. "And your shoes look comfortable. Good."

"I'm in shape, but I haven't done much hiking." I follow him inside. "Should I be worried?"

He chuckles, "You should be very worried. With the way Jonathan runs up that mountain, none of us have any energy by the time we reach the top."

"Oh, great," I say to myself.

Half an hour later, we're ready to go. In tow are Jasper, Carlisle, Edward, George, Theodore, Sebastian, Jonathan Francis, and myself bringing up the rear.

Carlisle and Edward drive two separate cars as we make our way to the beginning of the trail. Esme had already left about half an hour before us. From what Seb tells me, it will take about five or six hours before we reach the campsite.

We park and then get prepare to make the hike.

"I can't believe I'm doing this," I whisper to Edward. "It's not right."

"What are you talking about?" he chuckles.

"Recreational activities with your family was not a part of the deal."

"Well, Irina usually hikes the trail with us but obviously... that's not happening this year."

"So, I'm a replacement."

Edward looks at me, almost as if he's angry. He takes my hands and leads me behind a thick tree where we're blocked from view. He is kind of rough, and his face looks so intense.

"You are _never_ a replacement." Edward's voice is gravely and low. "Never, Bella."

"I didn't mean to say that," I tell him truthfully.

"But you're thinking it," he insists.

"Yes... No... I don't know." I run my fingers through my hair. "I don't know my place around you, especially around your family. I feel so confused."

"Why?"

I shrug. I'm not sure what exactly I'm feeling, but it's starting to screw with my head.

"Have I ever made you feel like I don't want you with me? You're not a replacement." He pulls me towards his body and places his chin on top of my head.

"I don't mean to be such a bitch."

"You're not. I would tell you if you were. Believe me." He laughs.

We stay like this for a couple of minutes before I jump at the sound of a twig snapping. I spin around to see Jasper leaning against a nearby tree with his arms crossed.

"We're ready to leave," he says.

"Okay." Edward lets go of me and kicks a rock on the ground.

Jasper's face doesn't give away much. All three of us stand there in silence.

"I'm neither blind nor deaf," Jasper says. That is it before he walks away.

"Come on, Bella!" JF takes my hand and starts me at the beginning of the trail.

I quickly learn that yoga is no help when hiking. Maybe Edward is right and yoga is just some bullshit activity created for bored rich women. I don't dare complain, because the look on JF's face as we climb the mountain is worth any pain. Actually, all the boys are overjoyed. Including Edward.

"And this is the Sorbus Americana," Theodore informs me while stopping to point at a quite ubiquitous looking green leafy plant with white flowers.

"It looks like everything else in the forest. How can you tell what it is?" I genuinely want to know how he can decipher all of these.

"I don't know." He shrugs. "It's just easy for me. I follow the book, though." He holds up his trusty Plants of New England travel guide. "Would you like to know more about it?"

"Sure. Why not." I crouch down near the ground to get a better look. Everyone's taking a break before we move on, so I might as well learn a few things while we have time.

Theo smiles at my enthusiasm. "This is actually a shrub and not a flower. Commonly known as American Mountain Ash. It's indigenous to Main and Rhode Island. It survives harsh winters and can even grow under a foot of snow. Isn't that interesting?"

"Fascinating. Can I touch it? It's not poisonous, right?"

"Nope. They are actually used a lot in wedding bouquets." He picks the small white flowers from the ground and hands several to me.

"What are you two doing?" Edward's voice is deep and suddenly in my ear. He's crouched next to me and takes some of my flowers.

"Your son was just informing me about some plants. He's very smart."

"He gets that from me," Edward boasts jokingly.

"Yeah, right," Theodore says under his breath with a laugh and then gets up to check out some more greenery in the area.

"Are you having fun?" Edward asks me.

"I actually am. Aside from being sore."

"I thought you were Ms. Exercise Guru? Besides, you're young. You can take it."

"Nothing could prepare me for this." I stand up when Carlisle calls us to order and says we need to continue up the mountain.

There is still a long way to go, but the second half is much easier than the first. I'm also able to loosen up a little bit. I was apprehensive about going on this trip because I didn't know how Edward's children would react to me.

As I spend more time with them, I realize that my reaction was silly. They had no reason to hate or have any ill will towards me. Why should they? They don't know about the things their father and I do. The things that might ultimately rip their family apart.

For now, to them, I am just a friend.

"We're almost there, Bella!" Jonathan Francis, still holding onto my hand, nearly rips my arm off as we near the large lake in the distance.

"Grandma's already setting up." George points across the water where I can see the giant Jeep and Esme expertly assembling tents.

The scenery is absolutely beautiful. I feel oddly thrilled and satisfied at the fact that I just climbed up a mountain. This gorgeous picture in front of me is my reward.

"Wow," I say to myself.

"Stunning, isn't it?" Jasper stands beside me. "We've been coming up here for years. Since we were kids."

"You've known Edward all of your life?" I ask him.

He nods. "Basically since diapers. He, Alice, Irina, and I went through school together."

"So... you're close with Irina?" I try not to act like I care as we start walking around the lake to the campsite.

"Hmm, not really. She and I have never really gotten along. I put up with her, though. She is, after all, the mother of my godsons."

I want to say something else, something meaningful. I want to make excuses about what Edward and I are doing. I know Jasper knows, but I can't think of anything that will ease the situation.

"Bella, don't think that I'm judging you," he says. "I might not even know what I'm talking about. Edward hasn't said anything to me about... what you two do. I might be jumping to conclusions. I can guess, but I don't know for sure. It's none of my business and not my place."

"Well, thank you...I guess."

He smirks. "I like you, Bella. You're a stubborn hardass."

"I like to think I'm tenacious."

"Whatever you call it, keep it up. I haven't seen him so happy in years."

Jasper steps away and is replaced by Edward a couple of seconds later.

"What was that all about?" he asks.

"Nothing. Just a talk between friends," I answer.

* * *

**A/N: **So who exactly knows about the salacious activities going on between Edward and Bella? We're only on chapter 10 and there's lots more to come.

As always, thanks to Jenny. And thanks to everyone who's been reading.

All things Twilight related belong to SM.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

* * *

I have never really been camping before.

In Switzerland, I used to go to my friend's houses in the mountains, but never sleeping-in-a-tent-bugs-in-my-hair-eating-fire- roasted-hotdogs camping. I find that I didn't necessarily hate the experience, but it is more the company that I enjoy. Being with Edward and his family makes me feel something. I'm not sure what, but I like it.

We have a fun filled day of camping activities. More walking around with Theodore, trying to find a rare flower that only grows on the mountain. We don't have very good luck, but I tell him we could come back later in the summer when they are supposed to be in bloom.

George teaches me how to hit a baseball. He can whack one all the way across the lake, and I nearly fall over myself with excitement each time he does. He then calls Edward over to hit a few as well. He is good, if not better than his son.

Theodore is a reader, which I'm thrilled to find out. He spends our time at the lake engrossed in a thick copy of _Oliver Twist. _I tell him it's one of my favorite books, and we then discuss the difference between French and English romanticism. Theo loves that I can talk books with him. He says no one else wants to. I'm sure he has no idea what I'm saying. He's only eleven, after all.

All of Edward's kids are so smart. It's astounds me.

Jonathan Francis and I are probably the closest. He hangs onto me like I'm his best friend. We swim in the lake, and I teach him how to build a fire, which I somehow know how to do. Maybe Charlie taught me. I'm not sure.

Esme discretely mentions that JF is attached to me because he's missing his mother. She scrunches her nose up in annoyance at this and tells me that Irina hasn't really been in his life since he was born. He barely knows her. She pats my shoulder before she walks away, as if to tell me, 'He needs you'.

That night, we sit around the fire and make s'mores. I sit in between George and Edward, handing them my delicious treats when I can't finish them. Carlisle tells us stories about coming up here with Jasper and Edward when they were younger. He has us all laughing at their shenanigans.

By the time midnight rolls around, we are all exhausted.

I slink into my tent, which is actually fairly comfortable. I still can't believe I'm here doing this; on a family vacation with Edward and his boys. I should feel ashamed, but don't.

I sleep extremely well. It must have something to do with the forest sounds. It's all very soothing.

I'm woken up far too early.

"Bella," Edward whispers.

"Go away."

"I have a surprise for you. Get up." He kisses my shoulder.

"No. I can look at your surprise later." I roll away. "And you better not be waking me up for sex, either."

"I never thought I would hear you turn down sex." He chuckles.

"Edward, it's not even light outside."

"Come on." He takes my feet and stuffs some boots on before he begins dragging me from the tent. I scream and he tells me to shut up before lifting me onto his shoulder. I promise not to run away and he puts me down.

We head towards the edge of the lake where he has two canoes with paddles set up.

I make a move to get into one of them, but Edward stops me. "That's mine," he says.

"But I like this color," I protest.

"You can have the pink one." He points to the other available canoe.

"The girl one?" I cross my arms.

"Don't make this difficult." Edward steps close to me, towering over my body. He looks at me with such intense eyes. He runs his finger along my cheek. "Please just take the other one, baby."

"It's too early in the morning to fight you," I say with a shuddering breath.

"Good." He tries to kiss me, but I back away, remembering that I haven't brushed my teeth yet. Edward never gave me the chance. This is his punishment.

I take the pink canoe and paddle out to the middle of the lake. Edward guides us to the small opening of a river that I haven't spotted before. It's gentle, and I can navigate it easily.

We paddle in silence for about half an hour. It's so calm and light is just starting to peek through the clouds.

"We're here." Edward suddenly stops.

I look around and notice that we're in a much smaller lake than at the campsite. There's a tiny waterfall, and I look down to see shiny fish swimming freely near my canoe. They must think I have food.

It's so tranquil; I love it. I love my surroundings and the man floating next to me in the water. I know I do. I must, because I've never felt like this before. Maybe Rose is right. I don't let myself think about it, because I know it can never happen.

The sun rises fully over the next ten minutes, and it almost brings tears to my eyes.

"I've never brought anybody here before," Edward admits. "It's nice to have... someone."

I don't know if he means at this moment or in general, but I'd like to think the latter.

"This is beautiful," I say.

"I got lost one year when I was sixteen and every year since then, I've been coming here. It allows me time to reflect by myself."

I nod in understanding. He must feel overwhelmed sometimes. He has four kids, and a rather lucrative dental business, and trouble with his wife. And me. I probably don't help the situation much.

"You help me more than you could ever know." Edward turns to me.

"I didn't mean to say that out loud. I'm just too tired to think."

"I brought you here to show you exactly how much you mean to me. You're special in a way that I would never be able to explain. I... don't know exactly what we have, but it's strong and I don't want to lose you."

"I don't want to lose you, either." I hold back my tears, because I know that I want what I'm saying to be true, but in all likelihood, we will be ripped apart.

He paddles his canoe closer to mine and leans over to kiss me. This time, I let him.

By nightfall the next day, we are back in the city. The drive is interesting, to say the least. JF sings Disney songs the entire way back and makes everyone join in. At the same time, Seb and Theo fight like rabid dogs.

Edward drops me off at my townhouse, and the boys are intrigued. They ask if they can come inside to look around. I tell them yes, but Edward says no. They have school in the morning and need to get home.

I wave as they drive off.

I take a much needed bath and plop down on the couch with a large glass of wine after I soak in a tub for an hour. As if on cue, Rose calls me and demands I tell her about my weekend. I forget that I'm mad at her and talk as if we didn't have a mini-fight.

By the next morning, I'm back to normal. Which includes missing Edward.

The feeling is almost foreign to me after spending two solid days in his company. But this time, there's more. The hole in my chest is widened because not only do I miss Edward, but I also miss his sons. George, Theodore, Sebastian, and Jonathan Francis have a place in my heart. They probably shouldn't, but they do. They've won me over, and I can't let them go.

I wake up and get dressed for the day. I started my new job at the Museum of Fine Arts about two weeks ago, but I only worked part time, a couple days a week.

Today is about shopping.

I park my car on Newbury Street and take to the shops immediately. I probably don't need anything, but that doesn't matter. I saw a dress in this month's _Vouge _from Gucci that I might need to pick up.

As I window shop, the sun is hot, but not overbearing above my head. The weekend camping has given me a new love of the outdoors; although, I can't see myself as a regular mountain hiker.

Sometime later, I feel my phone vibrate in my purse. I pick it up and don't recognize the number, but pick up anyway.

"Hello?" I sit on a nearby bench.

"_Um... Bella?" _The voice on the other end is George's.

"Oh, hi, George. I didn't expect to hear from you."

"_Yeah, I hope it's okay that I called you." _

"It's okay. Does your father know you're calling?"

"_Uh, no. I got your number out of his phone." _

"Is everything alright?"

"_Ask her!" _I hear JF's voice whine.

"_Well... I have a baseball game tomorrow and I know you said you might want to come see me play and... Jonathan would kill me if I didn't ask." _

I stop myself from laughing. "I would love to, but I'll have to check my schedule."

"_Really? You'd want to come?" _He sounds surprised.

"Sure. Can I call you back in half an hour?"

"_Uh... yeah. Yeah, that'd be okay. I guess I'll talk to you soon." _

We hang up and I immediately dial Edward's number. I know that he's on lunch, and he picks up after the first ring. After a couple minutes of dirty flirting, I tell him about the phone call I just had with his son. I don't want to make any decisions without talking to Edward about this first. He tells me that it's fine if I come along for the game.

George is overjoyed with the news - the most excited that I've ever heard him. He gives me the location and time of the game, and I promise I'll be there. We don't hang up until I talk to JF who tells me that he'll bring a baseball cap that I can wear.

I continue shopping with an unconscious smile on my face. I buy a couple of new dresses and three pairs of shoes. I drive to the grocery store and pick up a few things. George told me that his games would encompass a lot of the afternoon, so I decide to make some sandwiches and other picnic items.

That night, I watch some old movies and cry at a French film about a boy and his dying father. It is incredibly sad and overwhelming. This is, of course, when Edward decides to call me.

"Hello," I sob into the phone.

"_Bella? Are you alright? What's wrong?"_ He sounds frantic.

"Nothing. Just some stupid movie." I wipe my tears on the edge of a blanket. "It was so sad."

He chuckles, "_Tell me about it." _

I spend the next ten minutes giving him a pretty detailed synopsis. He calls me cute because I can't stop sniffling. I call him a jackass for making fun of me.

"How are the boys?" I ask.

"_Bathed and asleep, thank God." _

"It's just you tonight?"

"_Yup. As it's been for... far too long." _He sighs.

"I'm sorry."

"_It's not your fault." _

"I wish you were here with me." I lean back on the couch.

"_You have no idea how much I wish I was there, too. I've been fantasizing about you all day." _

"We're so horny," I laugh.

"_I'm not ashamed of it," _he replies seriously.

"Neither am I."

We talk for another fifteen minutes and then I hang up with the promise of seeing him tomorrow. He is taking the day off, and I can't wait to spend some time with Edward and the boys.

The next morning, I get to the gym on time and resume my yoga routine. It is harder than I remember, and my body is still kind of sore from the weekend, but I go through it.

I make it home and showered. I then dress for the day, this time in jeans and a Red Sox t-shit, feeling the festivities of the day. I pack an old fashioned picnic basket with the goodies I had made the night before.

The sporting complex is about forty minutes outside of the city, but I go slowly so it takes me just a little over an hour. I call Edward when I am about ten minutes away, so he's standing in the parking lot with Jonathan Francis in his arms when I arrive.

They both wave at me when I get out of the car.

"Hi, Bella!" JF wiggles out of Edward's grasp and runs over to me, holding onto my legs.

"Hi, buddy." I hug him. "I've missed you."

"I missed you, too. I made George invite you."

"I brought you some presents." I walk to my trunk and pull out the picnic basket.

"Oh, what's in it?" His eyes go wide.

"You'll have to wait and see."

"I can carry it for you." He takes the basket from my hands.

"Are you sure? It's kind of heavy."

"No, I can do it." He struggles, but is determined.

I close my trunk and go up to Edward, who is still on the sidewalk. He's in jeans and a mint green Polo shirt. His eyes are covered by the sexiest pair of Ray Bans I've ever seen in my life.

I hug him, and he surprises me with a kiss on the cheek. "This isn't too inappropriate, is it?"

"I hope not," I whisper softly before he lets me go.

"Come on. The boys already have a spot."

Edward leads me over to a secluded area under a large tree where Sebastian and Theodore are already seated. I get hugs from them, and they help me set up the blanket I brought.

"You sure do come prepared," Edward laughs.

I shrug. "I'm thorough. What can I say."

I see George warming up with his team on the grass. They have blue and white uniforms, and I almost can't recognize him until I see the shock of hair under his cap. He sees me and waves. I wave back and sit down against the tree.

"What are you reading this time?" I ask Theo when I see him flipping through a thick book.

"It's Dad's copy of _Anna Karenina. _He said I could try and read it even though I might not get through it."

"Yeah, that's a tough book, especially for an eleven year old."

"I'm almost twelve and I read at a high school level. Dad says so." He puffs out his chest. "I think I can do it."

"I'm sure you can." I smile at him. "Tell me how it goes."

Edward has JF in his lap, and they're talking about school. I just watch them interact and can't get over just how much Edward loves his children. I have never seen anything like it. I wouldn't know what to do if Renee or Charlie lavished me with love like he does to his boys. It would be extremely awkward.

As the game starts, Edward sends JF over to Theo to keep him occupied. He sits next to me and crosses his legs at the ankles.

"Are you enjoying the game?" he asks.

I nod. "It's certainly different from the pros."

He laughs, "Yeah, but these high schoolers work just as hard. I assure you."

George hadn't been up to bat yet, so I couldn't judge his skills, but I was sure he was amazing.

"I wanted to ask you something." Edward turns to me.

"Okay."

"I have a dental conference in two weeks and I was wondering if you wanted to come along." He nudges my shoulder with his. "It's just for about three days, but I thought it would be nice to get away."

"Where are we going?"

"San Francisco."

"Oh, wow. I've never been there before."

"No? A world traveler like you?" he teases.

"I would love to come," I say into his ear.

"Good."

"Don't men usually bring their wives to this kind of thing?"

"Most men, yes. I would much rather prefer your company, though."

"Good."

I can tell that he wants to kiss me. It takes everything he has to pull away.

"Edward, I have a question." I play with some grass on the lawn.

"I'm all ears."

"Are you and Irina...still intimate?"

He takes a sip from his bottle of water, "Not in a long while. Not since you."

I don't know why I haven't asked this before, but his answer is good enough for me.

I decide to not tempt myself any further and for the rest of the game, sit with JF. I introduce him to my famous pasta salad, and he becomes addicted. I think he's going to bite Seb's hand off when he tries to steal some.

As I suspected, George is an extraordinary baseball player. Edward tells me that he's been contacted by several schools for playing in college. George doesn't know if he wants to play professionally, but he certainly could with his skills.

After the game, he jogs over to where we're seated and plops down on the blanket.

"Hey, Bella. Glad you came." His smile was just as dazzling as his father's. "Did you like the game?"

"I loved it. You did such a good job. I didn't realize how impressive you were."

"Dad helps me with my skills."

"Taught him everything he knows," Edward says pompously. "I was quite the player myself back in school. In fact, my homer won us the state championship..."

"Are you going to tell this story again?" Theo interrupts. "We don't really want to hear about how baseball was played back in the 18th century."

"You think you have jokes." Edward pushes him over. "I'm not _that _old."

"You are kind of old, Dad," Sebastian agrees.

We stay at the park for a little over an hour, finishing up the food I brought. George eats about four sandwiches by himself and still asks Edward if he can order a pizza when they get home.

The sun is still high in the sky when we all hug. I tell Edward quietly to call me later so that we can see each other this week and he nods.

I know that spending time with Edward and his boys will only cause me heartache in the end. I shouldn't want to be with them, but I can't help it. I _need _them and...it scares me.

* * *

**A/N: **Poor Bella. She's all confused. Older Edward is messing with her emotions...unintentionally.

Thanks to Jenny for beta'ing because, obviously, you know why. And thanks to everyone who's reading the story.

Hope you enjoy. Shoot me a review if you want.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

* * *

I am so sexually frustrated that I'm going to pop. I haven't seen Edward in a week. Once since the baseball game, but that's it. It's not his fault, though. I've been busy and regret each time I have to tell him I can't see him.

I had to visit Rose in Philadelphia because she was bored with Emmett in training camp. I spent four days with her and couldn't wait to get back home. Then it seemed like every child in the state needed cavities filled so Edward was bogged down with that.

Tonight is the night.

I can't wait to see him. I'm already in sexy, red lace underwear with my robe tied around my waist. Edward is spending the weekend with me, and I am nearly chewing my lip off in anticipation.

I hear a car outside, but try not to jump up from the couch. I casually walk towards the front windows and pull back the curtains. Sure enough, Edward is parallel parking his Jaguar.

I go to the door and crack it a little bit, hiding behind. I would run out to greet him, but my less than appropriate attire would get my neighbors' tongues wagging.

"I see you hiding from me." Edward pushes through the entranceway and grabs me by the waist. He drops a heavy bag on the floor and shuts the door.

"I missed you," I breathe heavily between his kisses.

"You have no idea how much I missed _you_." Edward lifts me up and leads us over to the couch where I was sitting.

His hands begin to clutch and pull at the silk fabric of my robe. He opens it and continues his sinful exploration of my neck with his lips. It feels so good that I quiver under his touch.

"What the hell are you wearing?" Edward pulls back a little and stares at my body.

"I thought I'd dress up... or down. Depending on how you look at it." I lick my lips. "Don't you like it?"

"Red's my favorite color. How did you know?" He captures my lips, and his strong grasp bolts me to his body.

"I think you've told me that before."

We're lying horizontal on the couch, him on top of me, until I reverse our positions. I rip his shirt away and he helps me with his pants. I throw them across the room and then I straddle him. His stare is making me feel powerful, and I can feel him squirming under my body. Edward wants me. He always wants me.

"It's been too long, Bella. I'm dying." His voice is raspy and needy.

There's no time for foreplay. We have the whole weekend. Our underwear is discarded and we touch a little bit, but there's no need. We're already there.

I place him at my entrance and tease him a little. He throws his head back against the pillows, cursing at me. My body takes him in fully; it's been so long that I forgot how good he feels.

"God, Bella..." Edward grunts when we become one.

We move slowly, testing each other at first and then quicken with passion. His hands grip at the couch cushions for a couple of minutes while I work above him. He then takes control and pulls my face towards his. Our lips lock and his hips roll up into mine. I'm not doing much work anymore and he pushes deeper into my body.

Edward whispers dirty things into my ear. How much he wants this, how hard his week has been without me, how long he's waited to be inside me. It was so wonderful and fulfilling.

I scream my release and he's not that far after. I collapse on top of him, a jumbled pile of sweaty limbs, as I breathe into his chest.

"I need you like I need water." Edward kisses my hair.

"That's a cheesy line, but thank you."

"It's cheesy, but it's true." He lifts my face up and kisses me more. "You have no idea how much I need you."

My breathing comes quicker. I look at his eyes and they tell me he's being sincere. For me, I already know that I have to be careful. I can't fall in too deep. Is he falling as well?

I push away from the couch, grabbing my robe. "Come on. It's time for dinner."

Edward stretches his arms above his head. "You took a lot out of me."

"And it's only the beginning." I take his hand and pull him from the couch.

The rest of the night is spent with me making spaghetti. Edward smokes a joint, sitting on the counter, and we go through a whole bottle of wine before the meal is even finished.

A little tipsy and high, we sit down to eat several helpings. Edward calls it "carbo-loading" for the frisky night ahead.

True to his promise, we fuck like rabbits. I barely have a second to breathe, and by morning, we have only gotten about two hours of sleep.

My phone alarm rings, signaling our time to wake up.

"No, turn that shit off." Edward rolls away from our embrace.

"We have to get up for the gym. I want to stay in, but we can't."

"Bella, please don't make us go." He grabs me and pulls me closer to his hard body. "Don't leave."

"I won't." I say, holding his hand on my stomach.

We don't move for the next hour. I don't fall back asleep, but I can hear him snoring softly into my ear. He's so warm wrapped around me. I can feel every inch of him against me, and it is glorious. The hair on his legs prickles the skin of my lower body, and I shudder whenever he moves in sleep.

"Edward," I whisper into his ear an hour later, "we really have to get up."

He doesn't respond at first, but I trail my hands over his chest and he bites his lip. "Bella, please stop."

"I want to go to the gym," I whine. "Please wake up."

"This is my day to just relax. Let me have this one day to sleep in." He covers my body with his.

"Well, I'm going with or without you." I throw his arm off and get out of bed before he has the chance to grab me again.

I dress in my workout clothes and hear Edward mutter under his breath as he does the same. We grab granola bars and water bottles on our way out of the door. He wants to drive, so we take his car and arrive at the gym ten minutes later.

I spend most of my time in a spinning class. It's hell on my legs, but oddly satisfying. After I stretch my body out, I leave to find Edward.

I stand and watch as he lifts a pair of dumbbells above his head.

_God, he's hot..._

His sleeveless shirt allows me to see his arms, and I suck on the opening of my water bottle, needing to satisfy my lusty mouth. He's sweaty and masculine and looks angry. I can't get enough.

I watch for another five minutes before he places the weights back in the stand. He sits on a nearby bench, exhausted but beautiful, and shakes a container filled with some kind of dark brown liquid. He guzzles it down, and then breathes deeply through his nose.

I walk over to him. "What the hell is that?"

"What?" He lifts his head and stands up.

"That stuff." I point to his bottle.

"Oh, nothing." He shrugs. "Just a protein shake."

"Why are you drinking that?" I don't know why I'm pushing this, but it seems out of character for him.

"I have for the past month or so." He hangs his head.

"What aren't you telling me?" I want to touch him, but we're in public so I don't.

"I... I want to look good for you. I have a nice body for a thirty-five year old, but I could be better. I figure I might give this a shot."

I snort because I think he's joking, but then realize very quickly that he's not. "Are you kidding me, Edward? You don't have to drink this. I like you the way you are."

"I don't need a self-esteem lesson, Bella. I just wanted to try it." He seems agitated. "People probably think to themselves 'what is that hot, young girl doing with that old geezer?'"

"You're not... that old and as I said, I like you the way you are."

We get back to my place and take a shower. It's a rather intense fucking session, and I come so hard that my entire body shakes. I collapse on the floor, and Edward has to carry me to the bed.

We take a long nap and wake up when my phone rings two hours later.

"Hello?" I ask, my voice thick with sleep.

"_Hi, Bella. This is Irina." _

I shoot up in bed. "Hi. I didn't expect to hear from you."

"_I know. I'm coming back home from a business trip tonight and was wondering if you wanted to get lunch tomorrow. Just us girls." _

Tonight? She was supposed to be in Panama for another three days.

"Oh, I don't think that would be such a great idea. I know you're probably tired and I'm really busy."

"_Please, Bella. I really need someone to talk to and we got on so well. I can come into the city. It'll be an hour lunch, tops." _

I want to say no. I need to say no, but I agree to meet her. I hang up and almost forget that Edward is lying next to me.

"Your wife," I say before he can ask me who was on the phone, "We're having lunch tomorrow."

"Are you two...friends now, or something?"

I shake my head 'no'.

Edward sighs, but doesn't say anything.

Irina ironically calls him ten minutes later and tells him that she's coming home. He seems agitated and surprised. We fuck one last time before he gets up to shower.

Edward leaves an hour later, his bags packed, filed with unused clothes. We had our days planned, but Irina ruined it. I'm so pissed and sad.

The next day, I spend some time window-shopping for a new lamp for my family room. I am just comparing prices and wasting time before I meet with Irina for lunch.

I realize that I'm being a horrible human being. What kind of person goes to lunch with a woman whose husband she's slept with not twelve hours before? I wonder what she would call us if she found out I was sleeping Edward.

_Home-wrecker..._

_Slut..._

_Bitch..._

"Bella?" a voice asks from next to me.

I nearly jump out of my skin.

"Oh, Irina." I grip my purse tighter to signify that my hands aren't free for a hug.

"I thought that was you." She smiles.

"Yeah, just shopping. The restaurant is right over there." I point it out. "Thought I'd stay close."

"I'm glad you could meet with me. I miss you." We begin walking down the street.

"How was your trip?" I ask when we sit down at the outside cafe.

"So much fun." She dives into a lengthy story about where she went and what she did. When Edward talks about his job, I'm intrigued and can't get enough. When it's Irina, I don't give a fuck. I don't even know what she does.

I keep my hands in tight balls under the table. She makes me so mad. She has this wonderful husband and four beautiful boys at home. But here she is gallivanting across the world.

I was all in favor of Irina having a job, but there needs to be some balance in her life. I've counted over the past month. In thirty days, she's been home only six of them. Six days! It was the same the month before.

I hate Irina. I want to rip her hair out. I want to shout and scream at her for giving up what I want. I want her husband and her children. I probably will never have them and that's what pisses me off.

"So what about you?" Irina asks.

"Sorry, I wasn't listening." I snap back to the conversation.

She giggles, "You're so blunt. I love that about you."

"Oh." I shrug, not knowing what to say.

"I asked if you have a boyfriend?"

"No," I shake my head, "I don't have much time."

"Really? What do you do all day? Do you have a job?" She sips some water superiorly. Irina wants me to know that she's better than me.

"Yes, actually. I do," I respond.

Before we can talk again, Irina picks up her phone from the table, which is vibrating. She's frustrated when she answers the text message.

As we eat, the phone keeps going off and she gets even madder.

"I'm sorry about this. My youngest is getting on my nerves." She rolls her eyes. "He's always calling."

"Jonathan Francis? How's he doing?"

"Um, good. I think." She hesitates. "I'm not sure how my family is doing, actually. We've all been so busy lately it's hard to see each other."

You're a mother, but you can't see your children? Bullshit.

"And Edward? How is he?" I push her.

She sighs, "He's wonderful, as always. We haven't really... connected with each other in quite some time, if you know what I mean. Just two passing ships in the night."

I want to throw up.

"Oh. Well, that's understandable. You're working a lot. He's probably exhausted, too, from taking care of the kids."

_...And fucking me so much._

" I'm thinking about taking some time off and planning a weekend trip for us since I wasn't at the camping trip. I heard you guys had fun."

"We did. You missed out." I glare at her when she looks away from me.

Irina asks for some ideas for her and Edward's "weekend getaway". Cabin in the woods? Hut on the beaches of Hawaii? City trip to New York?

"Or what about an international trip? You're from abroad. Do you have any suggestions?" she asks brightly.

I find it hard to stomach her conversation and figure out pretty quickly that this was a bad idea. We need to have as minimal amount of contact as possible.

I tell her that I'm not feeling well, which I'm not, and pay my portion of the bill before stomping back to my car. Irina texts me as I drive home and wishes me a speedy recovery before saying that she might as well come home too and... connect with Edward. She adds a winky face at the end.

I have to pull over and control myself.

"You can't cry, Bella. You can't," I tell myself.

I'm so stupid.

She's Edward's wife. She has every right to want his love and affection and kisses. But I'm selfish and I want all that, too. The question is: does he want me? Stupidly, it never occurred to me that Edward and Irina might be still having sex. He assured me they weren't, but she was never home enough, so I convinced myself that it was true.

Now she's talking about taking time off. Time off for fucking.

I'm his girlfriend, but she's his wife. Two very different roles. I need to accept that.

I hate sounding so immature, but it's times like these when I'm reminded of just how young I am.

As if she knows I'm suffering, my mother calls my cellphone the moment I step in the door.

"_Bella, we never talk anymore," _she starts off.

"Sorry, Mom. I've been really busy with the move and everything." I drop my purse off in the chair near the front door.

"_What's wrong? What happened?" _Renee's voice sounds worried.

"I'm fine. Just a little sick." I sink into the leather of my couch.

"_Are you sure?"_

"Yes, I'm sure. How are you?"

"_Oh, fine. You know, just the same ole' me. Painting and drinking." _

"Sounds like the life." I pick at my nails.

"_Have you found a job yet?" _

"I told you I'm working at the museum. I started last month."

"_That's right. I completely forget." _

A long silence envelopes our conversation. As always, when my mother and I get the preliminaries out of the way, we have nothing else to talk about.

"_So... is there a guy you've met in Boston?" _

"Not really?"

"_I know you're seeing a married man, Bella!" _she shouts at me. "_I've been holding that in for too long." _

I want to die. I want to crawl under a rock and die. But only after I kill my sister.

"He's..." I try to make some kind of excuse, but can't think of one.

"_He's married. I can't believe you." _

"Mom, calm down."

"_No, I will not calm down. I thought I raised you better than this." _

"You didn't raise me at all!" I stand up from the sofa, my breathing erratic and angry.

Once again, there is silence for at least a minute.

"_I guess I deserve that dig," _Renee sighs.

"Mom, look, I didn't tell you because I never planned on this thing being more than just sex. Yes, he's married, and I'm probably breaking a thousand rules, but I can't help myself."

"_Oh, Bella. I might not have raised you, but I know you better than anyone on this earth. Did you really think this would only be about sex for you?" _

"I... I don't know." My voice is little and I sit back down. "I think I love him, Mom."

"_Well, of course you do! That's how it always happens. It's a story as old as time: Man seduces girl, girl thinks it's just physical, girl falls for man, man leaves girl crying. Has he told you how much you mean to him and how much he likes you?" _

I nod to myself, but don't reply.

"_Has he said he's going to leave his wife?" _

"No, he's never said that."

"_Have you talked to him about it? Have you discussed your feelings?" _

"No."

"_Well, what did you think was going to happen, Bella? How old is this man?" _

"Thirty-five."

"_Oh, my sweet daughter. You might think you're a mature adult, but you're still a child. Get out while you still can, Bella. You're in over your head." _

We talk for a little while longer, but I can't keep up a coherent conversation. My mother lets me go with the promise of calling me later in the week to see how I'm doing.

Little does she know, I have no intention of "getting out".

At least not yet. No matter how much heartbreak I might go through, I'm willing for him.

I can't give Edward up.

* * *

**A/N: **This poor girl. So young. So confused. I love the slow burn to the big fire. Can't wait!

As I've said, there will be a HEA. Don't you worry about that.

As always, Jenny needs huge thanks for beta'ing.

All things Twilight related belong to SM.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

* * *

I meet Edward at the airport, on the curb, after the taxi drops me off.

I only have one rolling bag, but he comes with a couple, walking from the parking garage. He's dressed casually in jeans and a button up shirt. He looks freshly showered, and I can't take my eyes off of him. He's becoming an obsession.

"Hi." He sets one of his bags down and kisses me hard. I'm not prepared for it and stumble towards him. I'm out of breath, but he seems perfectly fine. It's always like that.

"Are you ready for our trip?" He takes my hand and throws one bag over his shoulder.

I nod in reply.

Five days away in San Francisco, a place I've never been. And with Edward, to top it off. I knew I was going to love it.

Irina was supposed to be taking care of the kids, but got called away at the last minute. To Tibet or some shit like that. The boys are staying at Edward's parent's. He said they seemed happy about that, but he was worried about them. I was starting to wonder if Irina wanted any part of her family's life at all. She was never there.

"You look like you're thinking hard." Edward runs his finger over my cheek as we stand in line to get our tickets.

"Nothing serious. Just wondering about a few things."

"Like?"

I shrug. "I forget."

He knows I'm lying, but doesn't bring it up again.

We sit and wait at our gate. I read a new novel I picked up last week, and he goes over his itinerary for his conference. I guess dentists have enough money to make this thing pretty fancy because from what Edward tells me, it's a rather big deal every year. Dentists from around the world gather to talk about... teeth, I'm assuming.

He says he's never brought Irina and he's tired of going alone. So, here I am, glad I accepted his offer.

"What are you reading?" Edward asks, throwing an arm over my shoulder and pulling me into his side.

"A tawdry romance novel about a stable boy," I say without looking at him.

"Sounds scandalous. I thought you were more of a classics reader."

"Usually, but it doesn't hurt to fill my mind with less than reputable material."

"Giving you ideas, Isabella?" His lips are suddenly at the shell of my ear, his breath hot and wanting.

Oh, God...

"Edward, I'm not going to be joining the mile high club today," I say to him, my voice shaky.

"We'll see about that." He leans away with a knowing smirk on his face.

We board the plane, and even though Edward is frisky with his touches, he's tired. He falls asleep as soon as we take off. I know he's exhausted from taking care of the kids non-stop.

I take his hand and hold it in my lap as I continue to read about the exciting life of the stable boy.

We land in San Francisco, and it's hard to contain my excitement. I've been doing a pretty good job of staying calm up until now.

The air is salty and the sun is incredibly warm. Edward hails us a cab and we stuff into the back seat. He's still trying to wake up, and his hair is all over the place.

"I should have gotten it cut." Edward tries to smooth it out. "I look like a hairy beast."

"It's not that bad, Edward." I laugh.

"Are you sure?"

I nod and rest my head on his shoulder.

This is the first time we can be truly free. The possibility that we see anyone we know here in California is extremely low. We can act like lovers. Unashamed and unembarrassed.

"Does anyone at this conference know that you're married?" I ask him.

"Not really. They're not exactly my friends. And it's not like Irina has ever come to one of these things. We talk work more than personal business, anyway." He runs his hand up and down my jean-covered thigh, squeezing along the way.

"What should I say if someone asks about me?"

He chuckles, "You're nervous?"

"No," I lie.

"Just tell them the truth. We're friends."

I recoil slightly. I don't think Edward notices it.

I hate the word "friends". I don't know what we are, but Edward is definitely more than that to me. He's... so much more. But I don't think about it because I can't have him fully.

I knew that when we started this. It's just sinking in.

"There isn't much time when we will be around people anyway. There's some fancy dinner thing tomorrow, but then you're free. I'm the one with presentations and speeches to go to."

"But you love teeth, so it will be like summer camp to you," I joke.

"Very true. Strange summer camp." He kisses my forehead and then settles back into his seat.

I watch the scenery pass out of the window. Everything is so bright and colorful, nothing like Boston. I like my New England home, but it's nice to get out of the city, especially to California. The sand and surf can lift anyone's mood.

We arrive at a swanky hotel. Signs are all over the carpeted lobby, directing dentists where to check in and how they can pick up their packets. A lot of men with glasses and ties are walking around. They're all smiling and as I suspected, talking about teeth.

It's like a nerd conference, and Edward is giddy at the prospect of being at home.

"Welcome, Dr. Cullen," a smiling receptionist says when we walk up to the front counter. "We have all your registration stuff right here."

"Thank you." He signs a couple of forms.

"You and your wife have a lovely week. If you need anything, please don't hesitate to call us."

Edward's hand stills as he's signing his name. I want to see how he reacts when the receptionist calls me "his wife".

The pen picks up its scribble, and he gives the papers back to her with a smile. "Thank you."

He takes my hand and leads me to the elevators. We're silent on the way up, and it's uncomfortable. There's so much to say; the words are on the edge of my tongue, but I can't.

"Why don't you take a look around," Edward suggests when he sets our bags down after he opens the door.

Our suite is huge, too huge, for just the two of us. There is a living room, along with a full kitchen and bathroom, complete with a giant tub. Everything is covered in plush cream and white fabrics.

My shoes make soft sounds on the carpet as I navigate through the suite. It's so nice.

"Do you have to be anywhere soon?" I call out to Edward.

"Not today," he replies. "We can just relax."

I walk into the bedroom. On the bed, red rose petals adorn the comforter. I smile to myself. Edward, always the cheesy romantic, has taken it upon himself to make me fall even more in love with him than I already am.

In love?

I lean against the wall and want to bang my head against it. I slam my eyes shut and try to regulate my breathing.

"Is everything okay?" He's close to me. His lips kiss mine shortly.

"Yeah," I say quickly. "Thank you for bringing me here. It's really nice."

"Just nice?" He kisses me again. "I put a lot of work into those rose petals. How about... exquisite? Exceptional?"

"All of the above." I thread my fingers through his hair and pull him closer.

"What's wrong?" Edward asks me.

"I'm just a little tired."

I don't think he believes me, but he lets it go.

We undress and take a nap. We leave the window in our bedroom open, and the surf below the hotel puts me right to sleep.

The alarm was set for only an hour, but Edward smashes his hand on the 'snooze' button several times before unplugging it completely. We sleep for another two hours.

When I stretch myself awake, the sun is setting.

I untangle myself from Edward and gently get out of bed. There's a balcony outside, and I sit in one of the lounge chairs, watching the sky change colors.

I'm fucked. Royally fucked.

I love Edward. I know it, but I never expected for it to happen. I thought that we would have our fun and that would be the end of it. People did that all the time, but now it's more.

Maybe my judgment is being clouded by lust. I need to spend some time away from him to get my head right. He is just so... perfect. Everything about Edward calls to me, but I can't have any of him.

Who ever heard of a twenty-two year old girl actually having a relationship with a thirty-five year old man, with four kids? It is unheard of. There is also the issue with Irina, but I didn't want to even acknowledge her.

What did he ever see in her? Sure, she is pretty, but she's a shitty wife. I would treat Edward so much better. Maybe it's her teeth.

"She does have nice teeth," I mutter to myself disdainfully.

But I'm a child compared to Irina. He has a future with her. I'm just Edward's plaything. Like my mother has been saying for the past week or so. And really, should I expect anything from him?

"What's wrong with me?" I scrub my hands against my face. I'm always so sure of myself. I know what I want, and I usually get it. This is different.

"Bella, where are you?" Edward's voice carries outside.

"On the balcony."

"Oh," I hear the bed jostle and then he's outside, barefoot and shirtless, "I thought you had gone out on the town without me."

"Where would I go?" I look up at him.

He kisses me, and then sits in another lounge chair. "Are you feeling better?"

"Better?"

"After our nap. You said you were tired."

"Oh, yeah. I'm fine."

Edward nods slowly, and then looks me in the eyes. He's reading me, wanting to know why I'm hiding from him.

"Bella, tell me what's wrong." His long fingers wrap around my hand.

"Edward, it's nothing. Stop worrying about me so much." I smile.

"You're not telling me something."

Instead of confirming his suspicions, I slowly climb into his lap, straddling his hips. He leans back in the chair and holds onto my hips.

"We're in an entirely different state, and all you can do is worry," I whisper, kissing up his neck towards his jaw.

"I'm... not."

"Let's just enjoy ourselves." I rake my fingers up and down his chest. "Don't you want to enjoy me, Edward?"

"Yes?" His voice is soft.

I wiggle a little bit and get a surge of confidence when I feel him grow hard. He's just in his underwear, like I'm in mine, so there aren't many boundaries between us.

I pull him from his confinements, and he hisses when my hand wraps around him fully.

I tell Edward to close his eyes and don't give him warning as I slip him inside.

As it is every time, my body reacts to his within seconds. I vibrate and he pulls me closer. His hands are gripping me so tightly it almost hurts.

"You feel so good." Edward kisses my face.

I want to say something else, but I can't. My voice doesn't work. I rest my head against his chest as he rocks my hips. After a while, he lets me go on my own.

We're torturously slow. Savoring every breath and drop of sweat.

He pulls out of me completely, and then pushes back in, filling me inch by inch. We fit perfectly. There's nothing "just physical" about this. I wonder if Edward can tell that. This is an emotional connection that I never imagined possible.

Or maybe my musings are just that of a silly, immature girl.

All too soon, his climax takes over with mine shortly after. It's not as explosive as some of our other encounters, but it's more intimate. We're closer than we ever have been, and it scares me a little.

Edward pulls my face towards his and looks me deep in the eye. "You are making me question everything I thought I ever knew."

That statement just scares me even further.

After we clean up, Edward suggests we stay indoors for dinner. He orders too many items from the restaurant downstairs, and they bring it up on a fancy tray. Heaps of San Francisco seafood, decadent pasta, refreshing salads, and beautiful desserts surround our table on the balcony.

We start to eat and play a rousing game of footsie under the table. We act like high schoolers, the morning after their first fuck on prom night. It's easy and I'm happy.

When I'm diving into a large plate of lobster ravioli, Edward's phone rings. He sighs, smiles, and picks it up. I can tell that it's one of the kids on the other end, probably George. Edward soon realizes that this won't be a short conversation and kisses me before leaving the table, heading into the bedroom.

I eat alone for fifteen minutes before he returns.

"What was that all about?" I ask.

"Just George. He wants to make sure I mailed all the paper work in for his senior year. He's transferring schools," Edward tells me.

"Really? Wow. That's such a big change for his last year. Where's he going?"

"St. George School in Newport. Have you heard of it?"

Of course I've heard of it. Prestigious. Well-bred. Historic. Alumni with the last names Astor and Vanderbilt and Guggenheim.

"I graduated from there," he says. "They have a really great baseball team, as well."

"George wants to be just like his father."

"I wish..." He stops.

"You wish what?"

"I wish he would just stop all of this. He's growing up so fast and these are supposed to be the best times of his life, He's going to love St. George, but it's very rigorous. It's like college and I feel like he's going to look back and hate it all. I don't want him to turn out like I did."

"What's so wrong with how you turned out?"

"Nothing." Edward bows his head.

"No, tell me."

"I don't know. My life... it was just so... I don't know. I was basically a grown man by the time I graduated high school."

I did the math a long time ago. Edward just turned thirty-five; George is 16, about to turn 17. Meaning that Edward was a father at eighteen, only four years younger than I am now. It's a little scary.

"Irina and I got pregnant, and then the next logical step was marriage. I didn't know how to slow my life down and before I knew it, I was a fucking thirty-five man." He seems angry. "I love my kids, don't get me wrong, but it all happened so fast."

"Edward, I think you're having a mid-life crisis." I try to make him laugh.

He smiles a little. "Probably, but it's true."

"Is... is that why you decided to go through with this?" I push some food around on my plate.

"Go through with what?"

"With us, the affair we're having?"

"No, Bella. My problems having nothing to do with what we're doing?" He takes my hand. "I'm just being a whiny old man."

"Do you love Irina?" I ask. I have to know.

He takes a few seconds to think. "No, I don't."

I nod.

"Then why don't you leave her?" I play with the food on my plate, not looking at him.

"It's...complicated."

A ubiquitous answer for a cheating man. I really wanted to reply with: "Will you please leave her? Please leave her for me."

But I didn't.

"I got you something." Edward looks at me and pulls out some kind of package from the pocket of his fluffy white robe.

"Really?"

"Yeah. It's only fair. You bought me this beautiful watch, so I thought I might pick something up for you."

"That was for your birthday." I smile to myself. Every time I have seen Edward since then he's had the watch on. It warms my heart.

"Open it." He scoots closer to me.

The package is long and slender, wrapped in beautiful red paper. It even has a bow. I giddily, but daintily, unwrap the gift and my fingers glide over soft, blue velvet. I open the case to see a shiny, gold chain bracelet.

"Oh, Edward. It's beautiful," I whisper.

"I saw it in an antique store downtown and thought you might like it." Edward took it from the box and placed the bracelet on my wrist. "I know we haven't been spending a lot of time together because of work, but I want you to know that I'm always thinking of you."

I can't bring myself to say something profound even though I want to.

"Thank you so much." I wrap my arms around his neck and he pulls me into his lap.

I make a conscious decision that this vacation is going to be a fun one. No more moping or thinking too deep into things. Just enjoyment.

* * *

**A/N: **Ms. Debby Downer, huh?

As always, thanks to Jenny for the beta work. We just spent the whole weekend together and it was amazing, as always. She's the penut butter to my jelly.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

* * *

I quickly find out that San Francisco is an absolutely beautiful city. I will never forget some of the things I've experienced here.

Edward and I have, since I met him, been close. But we've taken it to a different level. I learn everything about him and listen intently as he takes me through his history.

He's busy during the day with conferences and speeches, but our nights are filled with naked cuddling and discussions about _everything_. I tell him to start from the beginning, literally his first memory, and we go from there.

His life is fascinating, and I find him full of surprises. Whenever I think his tale is going to take me in one direction, he turns a corner and veers off course. The Navy, for instance, is one moment in his life that was never planned, but ended up being one of the best decisions he's ever made.

"I think I met some absolutely amazing people during those years when I was in the Navy. I didn't even know what the hell I was doing." He sighs, placing his hands behind his head.

"Weren't you scared?"

"No. I was excited. There was so much I wanted to see, and the Navy was a great way for me to get out there."

"But you had a new wife and a baby. How did you do it all?"

"Not without struggle. Irina was supportive, though."

I lie on his chest and ask him to tell me more.

The next night, Edward takes me out to this small restaurant in Chinatown that he says he found on vacation one time. We eat dim sum and greasy pork until two in the morning. We smile at each other, and our touches are anything but innocent. It's dark inside, the atmosphere only lit by candles, so we're allowed to be a little naughty.

At the end of the meal, the waiter brings out two fortune cookies. Edward steals the one closest to me.

"Hey, that's mine!" I argue, trying to reach over his body.

"No, Bella. I think this one was meant for me." He smirks.

"Come on, don't make me have to cause a scene in this nice restaurant."

"Do your worse, Ms. Swan." He leans in close and kisses my lips. We get even more heated, and I have the opportunity to steal the cookie from his hands.

"Yes!" I smile to myself.

"You cheated. Using your feminine ways to cloud my mind." Edward settles for the other one.

"I can't be held accountable for my actions."

He cracks it open. "As I suspected. Lame ass fortune."

"Don't be upset. You can't choose your fortune."

He throws the small strip of paper on the table. "What does yours say?"

"Nothing. It's stupid," I lie, hiding the fortune under the table.

_Trust your heart_.

The generic words on the paper seem to be jumping into my brain, but I act like it doesn't affect me.

I stuff the fortune into my purse before Edward takes my hand, walking us into the lively Chinatown night.

The next day, I sit by the pool and read. It's relaxing and Edward has some time to join me. Edward in swim trunks, dunked in water, must be the best one yet. He's so athletic and actually does a few laps. Maybe to show off for me, but I don't mind.

We eat lunch on a grassy hill by the hotel and out in the open, I can see home women look at Edward. It makes me jealous. He thinks my red face and evil stare is funny.

The jealousy is just another reminder of my emotions that are currently running wild all through my body.

That night, there's some kind of dinner for the dentists, and I accompany Edward as his plus one. I'm so nervous that someone is going to know that I shouldn't be there. But that's just my misguided suspicions.

Edward keeps an arm around my waist as we mingle with his colleagues and no one mentions a wife or girlfriend.

"How are you doing?" Edward asks me when the dancing portion of dinner begins.

"I'm fine. It was nice meeting some of your friends."

"If you can call them that. I see these people once a year, _maybe_. Sometimes I don't even bother coming to the conference. As you can see, it's not very entertaining."

"That's not true. I have learned quite a lot. For instance, I was talking to some man over by the bar and he gave me a half-hour lecture on the correct type of toothbrush. I never imagined it would be so complicated."

"Well, what kind of toothbrush do you use?" He asks, leaning forward.

"As many times you've slept over my house, you don't remember the type of toothbrush I use? And you call yourself a dentist." I take a sip of my champagne.

"What kind is it, Bella?" He chuckles.

"A Pursonic... I think."

Edward hisses through his teeth. "That's embarrassing. I hope you didn't tell him that. My reputation is on the line here."

"Well, I didn't think it was that big a deal. I brush and my teeth are healthy."

"We'll have to rectify this situation immediately."

There is obviously a bunch of swag at this conference and the next morning, Edward drags me down to the conference room to select an "appropriate device for teeth cleansing". My final selection, the one Edward demands that I use, is three hundred dollars. He buys it and stuffs it into my bag.

On our last night in California, Edward takes me to the beach, and we have dinner overlooking the ocean. It's so incredibly romantic; I have to remind myself that my time is limited.

Once we're back in Boston, this can't happen. I have to end it before I fall deeper in love with this man.

He gives me another piece of jewelry, a necklace this time. I have nicer pieces at home, but nothing with this much significance. I tell him that I'll always remember our time in San Francisco.

On the flight back to Boston, I'm glad Edward falls asleep because I don't want him to see how upset I am. I know that this can't go on forever, and I can't take the heartbreak that's bound to come if we continue.

I have to let him go.

We land and our demeanor is completely different than it has been over the past week. We walk to baggage claim and stay separated. I want nothing more than to hold his hand and have him wrap his arms around me, but I know we can't.

"I guess I'll call you and we can go out," Edward says sadly.

"Yeah, that's fine." I bow my head when a taxi pulls up to the curb.

Edward leans in to hug me, but pulls back quickly when he sees someone he knows. The man is older and seems to be in a hurry. They talk for a little bit.

I don't know if Edward is planning on introducing me, but I don't want him to be placed in an awkward situation, so I slide into my cab.

The next day, I have to get back to schedule.

I go to work at the museum and give several tours to young kids who are traveling into the city during summer camp. During my down time, I'm able to walk around and think about what to say to Edward.

How do you break up with the married man you're having an affair with?

This isn't how it's supposed to happen. I'm not supposed to have feelings. I'm not supposed to be invested in this. Just physical. That's what I promised him.

My mother calls. She's been doing that more frequently nowadays to try and figure out how my sordid love life is going. I might be inclined to think that she actually wants to care for me. She invites me to stay with her and Phil in New York if I need to get away.

I can't bring myself to tell her that I've just spent five days away in California.

Throughout the week, Edward texts me and we flirt a little bit, but we don't set up time to meet. I suspect he knows I'm pulling away.

On Thursday, Alice calls and says that she's going to be in the city. She asks me to lunch and I agree, hoping that this goes better than my lunch with Irina.

She's already waiting at the designated restaurant and she jumps up to greet me.

"God, it's been forever. I haven't seen you in so long," she says.

I don't think we've gotten that close in the past couple of times we've met, but I guess we have, because she hugs me tightly.

"Sit. Tell me everything that's been going on."

"Oh, nothing really."

"That's not what Jasper tells me." She crosses her legs.

What has Jasper told her? I start to panic.

The least amount of people who know about Edward and me, the better. Right now, it's just four, excluding Edward and I. I want it to stay that way, especially since it's about to end. No one else's life needs to be disrupted by this.

But of course she knows. She's Jasper's wife. Why wouldn't he tell her?

"He said you're enjoying your job at the museum. Why didn't you tell me you work there? I would visit you all the time." Alice smiles.

"Right. The museum. Of course, I love it." I let out a stream of air.

We talk for a little while, eating light lunches of salad and soup. I really do like Alice and ask myself silently why I don't call her more often. There's never a lull in conversation; she's by far the most energetic person I've met in my short lifetime.

I know there's an issue when she keeps sipping her coffee, but doesn't have anything to say for a solid five minutes.

Alice wipes her mouth and licks her lips before smiling at me, "So... how was California?"

"Wha-? What? I didn't go to California?" I look away from her.

"Well, you basically just confirmed my suspicions."

"Suspicions?"

"Yeah, that you and Edward are having an affair. Jasper hinted that there might be something going on, but he wouldn't tell me."

She shrugs and takes another sip of coffee.

"You have no idea what you're talking about," I sputter.

"Do you think I'm stupid?"

"No, but you're wrong. Edward and I are friends."

"I'm sure you are, but you're still sleeping with him."

I don't have anything to say. I want to fight and argue, but it's clear that I'm guilty.

Alice stays quiet while we process what's just happened.

"Have you thought about what might happen if the kids find out?" she asks.

I nod. "I'm worried about them the most."

"What about Irina?"

"I... I didn't want anyone to get hurt."

"You've clearly thought this through," Alice says sarcastically and taps her perfectly manicured fingers on the table top.

"It's stupid, I know. I'm planning on breaking things off," I say. I don't know why I tell her that, but I need someone to talk to.

She doesn't reply right away. "If you want."

"I don't want, but I _have _to."

"Because you love him?"

"Yes," I admit out loud for the first time.

"Well, then... this changes things."

"What do you mean?" I lift my head up.

"It's no mystery that Edward was_ miserable_. He's been happier, and I think that's what matters, but I don't need to tell you that what you're doing is wrong."

"I know."

"Irina and I aren't close, but I can't let you sleep with her husband. It's not right, no matter how much I like you." She smiles.

"Yeah, I get that."

"How did this even happen?"

"I'm not sure."

Alice and I end lunch ten minutes later. She gives me a hug, but unlike her greeting gesture, this one is filled with support and pity. She sadly smiles at me before going to her car across the street. Alice promises to not say anything, but I know that promise can only last so long.

I walk back to work since it's not that far and on the way, call Edward. He agrees to meet me for dinner.

I figure that if I break this off with him somewhere public, we will be less likely to shout and cry. Maybe there won't be any of that from him. Maybe he's the one with no investment in all of this. He can just walk away, back to his wife and kids, no harm done. I'm the one who has to suffer.

I spend the rest of my day in a state of semi-consciousness. I float around, making movements without thinking.

When I'm finished with work, I go home and change for dinner. The restaurant I suggested is nice and casual attire won't cut it for tonight. I put on a dress and heels, but not sure what brand they were. I don't have enough energy to check or care.

I take a cab to the waterfront and walk a little ways before arriving at our dinner spot. I'm led to a table where Edward is already waiting, reading a menu.

He's in a nice pair of pants and sports jacket with a crisp white shirt. The silver watch on his wrist is shining, and as I walk towards him, I clutch at the thin necklace he gave me.

Edward's face lights up when he sees me. He stands and kisses my cheek. "There you are. I was wondering if you weren't going to show up."

"I'm just a few minutes late." I smile.

"A few minutes too long." He pulls out my chair. "This is a very nice place. I haven't been here before."

"I read about it in a magazine. Thought we could try it out."

A waiter appears asking about our drinks. Edward orders us a bottle of red wine, and I'm glad to have some alcohol to calm my nerves.

"So, how was your day?" I ask him.

"It went well. Jonathan Francis is giving me gray hair, though. He's determined to eat his weight in candy. How would it look if one of my sons had cavities?"

"Not too good, I'm sure."

"No, not at all." He takes a gulp from his wine glass.

We order our food. I just get soup, broth really, because I'm not sure if my stomach can handle anything heavier.

Edward is in good spirits tonight. He's laughing and smiling so that the crinkles near his eyes deepen. He's trying so hard to fill our night with kind words and stories he thinks I want to hear.

Thankfully, he keeps his hands across the table. I don't think I could concentrate if we were touching.

"Are you okay, Bella? You haven't really said one word since we've sat down," Edward asks gently. "I'm worried about you. Is it something I said?"

"No, Edward. It's nothing like that. It's... me."

"What's wrong?" He takes my hand, but I pull it away from him.

"Edward, I don't think I can do this anymore."

"Do what?" His face falls.

"This. Us." I breathe deeply.

He's quiet and then his face morphs into something I have never seen before. He's angry. Furious, actually. Even when Irina irritates him to his limit, Edward's never looked at her the way he's looking at me now.

He clears his throat. "Is that why you invited me here tonight? To dump me?"

"Edward, it's not like that."

"Really, Bella? Because that what it seems like to me," he whispers angrily. "What is it? Am I too old; you got bored; didn't spend enough time with you?"

"No, it's none of that. You have to believe me. It's a lot more complicated than that." I keep my tears away. I won't let them fall.

"Then please tell me what the hell could have brought this on. Last week we had the time of our lives. We were kissing and laughing, not a care in the world." He grips the edge of the table roughly.

"I can't do this anymore, Edward."

"Why? Tell me why!"

A few people close to our table look at us, but don't acknowledge our conversation.

"Edward, lower your voice," I warn him.

"Why, are you ashamed of me? Of us? Is that what this is about?"

"No, it has nothing to do with shame. Please believe me. We just can't do this anymore."

"Why?"

"Because I love you." I break down. "I love you and I can't just have half of you. I don't think I can do it anymore."

He's silent. Completely silent and still.

"It's never been you," I continue."It's just me, being a stupid and naive to think that anything could ever come of this."

More silence.

"I should have stopped this thing between us when I started having feelings for you."

"How long have you loved me?" Edward asks.

"A while. Months, probably. Everything you do is just so... perfect, but I can't be satisfied with just being your girlfriend."

"Why not? Why do you have to ruin this?" He's mad again and his voice shows it.

"I don't mean to. I'm just trying to save us the humiliation and embarrassment that's bound to come from this. If we end it now, no one can get hurt."

"This is not how it was supposed to be, Bella." He drains his wine glass.

"I'm probably not making any sense." I wipe my face. "But I love you..."

"But if you can't have all of me, then you don't want me at all. Is that it?"

"Edward, I'm sorry. I never meant for it to go this far."

"You're selfish, Bella."

"You can't get mad at me for what I feel."

"Yes, I can. I'm sorry I wasn't enough for you." Edward starts to get up from his seat and drops three one hundred dollar bills. "This should cover dinner."

"I'm sorry," I say again.

"Don't worry about it." He laughs humorlessly. "We were just having fun, right? You say you love me and then break my heart. That's fine."

Now I'm getting kind of mad. Who does Edward think he is? This isn't _all_ my fault. I know I'm selfish, and I haven't exactly been the upstanding pillar of morality, but I'm trying to do the mature thing. He has a wife and children. How did he expect this to end?

"I guess this is it." Edward leans close to me. "Don't contact me again. Don't call my house or talk to my kids. And you'll probably need to find another dentist."

He stomps out of the restaurant and leaves me sitting alone at our table without another word.

* * *

**A/N**: Do you hate him? Like really hate him? Or do you hate her? He's not just mean to be mean, though. Sometimes we do and say things when we're angry. There is a reason for everything.

You want them to be together, but they're both so confused, right? Good. That's my point. Love ain't easy. It will always get better though.

As always, thanks to Jenny. And everyone who is willing to suffer through the mud until the sunny ending. But admit it, you love a little angst.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

* * *

I haven't ever cried like this. Never.

I hate crying. It's such an immature thing to do. Normal adults handle their pain and move on. Normal adults get back to work and don't make a big deal out of things. Normal adults don't get in over their heads with things they can't handle.

But I'm not an adult.

I'm a twenty-two year old child who assumed she could jump into a fantasy without thinking about the consequences.

So I cry about it. For three whole days I cry.

But I deserve to cry. "The Other Woman" should be the one in pain. I don't deserve any condolences or check-up telephone calls. I brought this upon myself.

After Edward leaves me to wallow in the crowded restaurant, I get out of Boston as quick as I can. I have to get away from places that make me think of him or how he treated me. Immaturely, I ran.

I book the first flight to Seattle and spend the hours trying to compose myself.

That was three days ago.

I've never really minded Forks. It was a place Charlie loved, and I found myself wanting to be closer to him as I got older. He would fly me out here sometimes to just rest during my breaks.

His large house sits on a beautiful lake and provides me with a place to get away from it all. It's private and quiet. Running away might not be the best option, but it's the quickest one I could think of at the time.

After another day or so, my tears begin to dry, even though I'm still upset. It feels like my life is shattered. My heart doesn't beat right. I'm not whole. All those cliché things I only read about in books have actually invaded my life.

It's early morning. Really early morning. The sun has just barely risen and fog rolls over the lake in an eerie manner that reminds me of a ghost story. It's silent around me except for a few bugs that reside in the surrounding forest.

I'm wrapped in a fluffy blanket that Charlie bought me for my sixteenth birthday. He said it was to keep me warm during those "freezing Swiss nights". He was always so caring and kind. I just wish I could have told him that when he was alive. But having his blanket around my shoulders provides me a lot of comfort. I'm sure he would have liked that.

I breathe out through my nose and try not to think about what I left behind in Boston. Edward. His kids. My house and job. I would be back. Soon probably, because I know I can't stay here very long. I just need a break.

My cellphone rings and I fumble around inside my blanket, trying to find it.

"Hello, Rosalie," I answer.

"Bella, I just don't get you. Why the hell are you in Forks?"

"I told you. I just needed... to get away."

"Well, I'm worried about you."

"Don't be. I'll be fine."

Of course, she knows about what happened with Edward. I told her everything and she listened without interrupting once, which is a rarity for her.

"You're not cutting yourself, are you?"

"God, Rose, no. I'm just resting a little." I cover myself up from the chill in the air. "Why are you calling so early? It's five in the morning."

"Maybe in Forks, but in Philly it's eight. I'm eating breakfast. What are you doing up so early?"

"Just thinking."

"You're so helpless. I'm coming up there."

"No, Rose! Please don't inconvenience yourself."

"I'm your older sister and you need my help. I'm coming. Don't argue with me."

"I'm sure Emmett wouldn't like that."

"He's a grown man. He can live alone for a couple of days." She says in a dismissive tone. "I"ll be there by the end of the day."

Rose hangs up before I can argue anymore.

I roll my eyes and sigh at her tenacity. Sometimes it's annoying how much she thinks she's right about everything. I don't mind her being here, but I don't want Rose trying to run my life.

I made a mistake by falling for Edward. He rejected me, and I have to learn to deal with that myself.

This is the first day I've been able to actually get up and do stuff. My energy is slowly coming back. My chest still hurts whenever I think about Edward, but I can suppress it enough to not start crying again.

"You sound pathetic." I grumble angrily.

No one's lived in Charlie's house since he's died. The furniture is all still there, but essentials like food are lacking. I dress simply, and then take one of his cars to the grocery store. I just buy things for a couple of days.

By the time I start driving home, the perpetual Forks rain begins and gets worse before I pull into the driveway.

It's amazing to me how rich Charlie was, yet he lived so simply. Yes, his lake house is rather large, but inside is like any other family home on the block. No fancy statues or ostentatious paintings. Of course, he has a giant ass TV for football, but that was one of the only purchases I remember him splurging on.

I walk into the house and place all my groceries on the kitchen counter. Just as I start putting the food away, my phone in the back pocket of my jeans starts vibrating.

I pick up without looking at the number. "Hello?"

No one answers, but I hear rustling on the other end.

"Hello, who is this?"

The line goes dead a second later.

"That's weird." I check the number and don't recognize it. I don't know what the area code is either, but think nothing of it. "Probably a wrong number."

I finish putting the food away and then start making myself some breakfast. As I'm scrambling the eggs, my phone rings again. Same number, same silence.

"Who the fuck keeps calling me?" I say to myself. I don't care enough to investigate.

I toast some bread and smear on grape jelly. Eggs and toast. Breakfast of champions.

But once I sit down to actually eat, my appetite vanishes. I push my food away.

Rose calls again, telling me she's getting on the plane. Then my mother calls. I pray to God that my sister hasn't told her anything. Renee seems to be skirting around any questions that she really wants to ask me, so I assume she knows more than she's letting on.

She ends our call by suggesting I read Katherine Hepburn's autobiography.

Bored and with no future productive activities, I decide to try it out. I download the book onto my electronic reader. Another gift from my late father.

Me: Stories of my LIfe is a fascinating book, but I don't understand Renee's suggestion until I'm about one hundred pages in.

Katherine Hepburn met Spencer Tracy in 1941 while they were working together and began an affair shortly after. Even though Tracy had been married for twenty or so years, he pursued Hepburn and never looked back. Friends said that he was "utterly obsessed" and she was "completely devoted and in love."

I became wrapped up in their story. It was so fascinating.

Tracy never considered divorcing his wife and Hepburn didn't ask him to. They just assumed the roles of lovers without any questions or much fanfare. The affair lasted twenty-six years and the more I read, the more I felt for Hepburn.

I couldn't understand how she survived that. Be with a man, love him, but never expect anything more than two separate lives. Maybe that is my problem. I expect too much.

I want all of Edward. Not just a week away in California or a few moments of sexual bliss. I wanted that bliss every day.

But can I really expect Edward to leave his stable life with a wife and kids for me? What can I provide him that he doesn't already have?

The old Hollywood studios, in an effort to keep the affair silent, set up strict rules, which Hepburn and Tracy abided by. They were never seen together, never talked about each other in the press, never lived in the same area. For them, just being together in private was enough.

By the time I reached the end of the book, my heart is broken.

Tracy died in Hepburn's home after having a heart attack on the kitchen floor. He literally died in her arms, but the papers reported differently. A publicist told the media that Tracy had died in his wife's home.

Katherine Hepburn was always second. Even though he loved her with all his heart, it was never a possibility for them to fully be together. Is that what life would be like for me if I continued the affair with Edward?

Hepburn was obviously stronger than me. I couldn't even conceive living my life that way.

A bang at the door jolts me back to the present. I lift my head and suddenly realize that there isn't any light left in the sky.

Have I been reading all day?

Another bang recalls my attention to the door. I jump off of the couch and run into the hallway.

"Bella, open this damn door! It's freezing out here." Rose does not sound happy.

"I'm coming." I unlock the door and pull it open.

My sister is standing in the rain, shivering and wet, carrying her several bags. She looks pissed.

"I come all the way out here to this God forsaken town and you leave me out on your doorstep! You have no class. I could have pneumonia." She shoves a travel case at me and pushes her bags into the house.

"Sorry. I forgot you were coming."

"How could you forget? I've been calling for the past hour. I had to pay a cab to come get me from Seattle!"

"Alright, I get it. You're mad at me. I was busy."

"Busy with what?" Rose starts taking off all her wet clothes, dropping them into the dyer.

"Reading. Renee suggested a book and I thought it would help take my mind off of things."

"We'll discuss this when I get back." She grabs one of her bags and stomps upstairs.

"Oops," I say to myself, secretly finding her dramatics a little funny. She is like a drenched cat. Never pleasant, but tolerable.

I go back to the couch and start re-reading Hepburn's autobiography. I went too fast the first time. I want to take my time, see how this incredible woman dealt with the scrutiny of an affair.

The one thing that I pulled away from the book was that the relationship between Hepburn and Tracy wasn't just physical. It was emotionally intense and everlasting.

"You know, Bella. I've been thinking," Rose suddenly emerges, smelling fresh from her shower, "the problem with you and Edward..."

"I don't want to hear it," I groan. "I know, I messed up. Please don't bombard me with your opinions."

"God, I was just trying to help." She plops down next to me.

"I know you are," I sigh.

Rose huffs and then turns her head towards me. "You look like shit. When was the last time you ate?"

"I... I don't remember."

"Come on." She pulls me from the couch and drags me to the kitchen.

She throws away my forgotten breakfast from this morning, and then makes the only thing she knows how to cook. Peanut butter and banana sandwiches. They bring me back to my childhood when we used to sit on the floor and watch movies while stuffing our faces.

"Do you remember on your fifteenth birthday when I made these for your surprise party? You were so pissed at me," Rose laughs.

"I ate so many that I got sick," I remember.

We're silent while she works. Half an hour later, there is a stack of sandwiches in front of me. Rose won't eat until I take a bite, and she glares at me while I finish.

"Okay, I ate it. Happy?"

"Yes." She smiles.

I soon realize that I need to pick myself up. There's no use in lying in bed all day. Plus, Rose is threatening to suffocate me if I don't get out of the house. She says I need to be active.

I decide on a day trip to Seattle. There's some business I need to take care of, and since I'm close, an in-person meeting seems to be the best option.

The city is vibrant and lively. It's a rare sunny day and the hustle reminds me of Boston. I miss it terribly, even though I've only been living there for about six months. I try to keep the memories from flooding back, but small glimpses of Edward peek through.

A flash of skin. The sound of his voice in my ear. The bracelet on my wrist. It all reminds me of him. But each day that passes, I get a little better at dealing with my emotions.

I pull my car to a stop on the sidewalk and someone is there to take it from me.

I shut the door and look up at the glass skyscraper. It seems to touch the sky. The modern architecture is imposing without overwhelming the entire city skyline. Charlie's software company occupies the top four floors of the building, and it seems like my second home before moving to Boston. I was always up there for something or other. Charlie has a rather large estate that includes, among other things, his entire company and its wealth. It takes time and a lot of hands are involved to make sure that everything is distributed correctly.

I walk into the lobby, my shoes making small click-clacks on the floor. One of the security men tips his hat and lets me through the high-tech boundary that leads to the elevators.

On the ride up to the top, my ears pop, and I wait for the doors to open before walking into the sitting area of the main floor. A large desk is occupied by my Charlie's oldest secretary. She's been with him since the beginning.

"Hi, Doris." I wave.

"Oh my God. As I live and breathe, it's Isabella Swan." She gets up and hugs me tightly. "They said you might be coming, but I didn't believe them. How have you been?"

"Good," I answer. "I'm just here for a few days."

"How's Boston? Is it as exciting as I suspect it is?"

I tell her about some interesting stories from my move, but obviously leave out the most interesting part. I don't even mention dating or men and thankfully, one of my lawyers rescues me before she has the chance to ask.

Randy is a tall man with very handsome features. Dark hair and blue eyes. Nice build - stylish for an older gentleman. He's forty-five, but could lie easily and say he's younger. He and Charlie knew each other from college, and he's been at the company since I can remember.

He leads us down a long hall to a conference room and I sit across from him, sitting my bag down on the shiny wooden table.

"I hate the carpet in here," I say out loud. The cream colored carpet was Charlie's idea, but he just did it to annoy me. He said I was too particular with the little details.

"We can have it changed if you'd like." Randy says, putting on his glasses.

"No, it's fine." I wave him off.

"So, we have a few things to discuss and since you're here, I thought we might as well meet and get this whole thing sorted out."

"Okay, I'm listening." I cross my legs and settle in.

"As you know, Charlie left you everything from the company. You have a majority share in the stocks and everything that leaves this building has your name on it. But as we both know, you are not equipped to run a business of this size."

"Or any size, for that matter," I point out.

"Correct," He chuckles. "You are head of the board of directors, but the day-to-day activities are run by the guys your father put in change. We're sort of in a limbo stage right now."

"Right, so what are my options as far as moving forward with this?"

"You can either sell your shares and give up your rights to the board, or keep control and appoint someone to run in your place."

"Well, I'm not selling anything. My father built this company from the ground up and it's going to stay in the Swan name."

"I figured as much. So I've come up with a list of businessmen who are wonderful candidates for his replacement." Randy pulls a few papers from his briefcase and slides them across the table. "Of course a final decision will have to be voted on, but you get two votes from the board and anything you say will probably go."

"I don't know the first thing about software. How will I know who to choose?"

"You're a smart girl. You'll have to ask around, do your research. I'm always here for consultation and you might even want to visit some of these men to see what you think. I assure you that they're all very well qualified and experienced. They would jump at the opportunity to lead this company, so you have a lot of options to choose from."

"How long do I have?" I raise my head and look at him. He takes off his glasses and crosses his hands together.

"There's no time limit, but as I said before, we're in kind of a limbo phase. Don't rush anything, but at some point, we're going to need a leader. Just take your time and call around."

I am slightly overwhelmed with all this. But I know I can do it. I wouldn't want to let Charlie down. I just need to find someone who best fits the company.

I recognize a lot of the names on the lists and their business ventures as well. All prominent men who could easily make this place even more successful, but I want to respect Charlie's wishes.

"It's strange to me that my father wouldn't already have someone lined up to replace him. Especially since he knows I can't handle it," I say.

"Well, none of us really expected him to... go so suddenly," Randy replies regretfully.

"Very true."

A silence hangs in the air and I place the important pages into my bag. "I'll look over these and call you soon to talk."

"Alright, then. That sounds good to me."

I'm going to need at least a couple of months to go through all of this. I want to make sure that I pick the right person for the job. Charlie was the type of boss whom everyone loved. He was the outdoorsy, granola-eating guy who let his employees go on week long climbs up Mt. Everest or something like that. My mom called him a big hippie, but he wasn't flighty like her. Charlie knew when it was time to work.

He gave money to charities and set up organizations to help the poor or sick mothers or wounded veterans. He was a wonderful man, and I needed to keep his legacy alive. He wouldn't want me to appoint some hard-nosed businessman who worked his employees to bone. And God help us all if the new boss doesn't believe in recycling. Charlie will come down and kill me.

It makes me a little sad to think about the perfect people to help me with this. Carlisle and Edward, even though in the medical fields, both love economics and business topics. They would enjoy this task.

Unfortunately for me, they obviously aren't an option.

* * *

**A/N: **Edward tore her up, didn't he? Poor thing.

As always, much love to Jenny because she's obviously amazing. And thanks to everyone who has been reading and reviewing. Keep it up. You all make my day.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

* * *

The plane touches down in Boston and half an hour later, I'm being swept up into one of Emmett's powerful embraces.

"Finally, you've been gone for a fucking month!" He squeezes me. A month. Four weeks in Forks. Four weeks away.

"I didn't expect to be staying that long, but I had to take care of some business."

"Well don't take my wife away from me again." He drops me and turns to Rosalie.

I have to pretend I'm reading a travel brochure because their reunion is so intense that I'm ashamed to watch it. People literally stop and stare at the giant man and his blonde wife, who don't even seem to be breathing. It's embarrassing.

"Can you guys stop?" I whisper.

"I'm sorry. I totally lost myself for a second." Rose backs away, winded and glassy-eyed.

Emmett grabs our bags and we start towards the parking garage. It feels good to be back in Boston, a place I now consider home. It's August and the heat of summer is starting to give way to the warmth of fall. It's not blistering, but it's still better than Seattle where the days are always chilly.

Rose and Emmett decided to stay the night and then take the train home the next morning. I haven't slept in my bed in so long and it feels heavenly.

Of course, as I'm lying against my pillows, I think about the gorgeous man who used to lay next to me. When I close my eyes, I smell him. It's intoxicating and maddening all at the same time. I can't have him. I will never have him again.

I don't cry anymore, but I don't think I'll ever be rid of Edward completely. How can I be? He was my first love. Rosalie has helped me to understand that it's a good thing we've gone our separate ways, but it still hurts.

The next morning, the first thing I do is call the museum. I'm surprised at how lenient they're being with me, but I think it has something to do with my father being Charles Swan. His death was big news, so they know I'm busy with his company and shit. I just feel bad for leaving them high and dry.

When I tell this to my boss, she laughs a little and explains that my position is that of a volunteer, and I'm in no way pressured to work a full week if I can't. She says that taking time off is fine. I tell her that I want to at least work two days a week, and she agrees to the schedule.

I haven't had a chance to really research Charlie's replacement, but I plan to in the coming days.

I go to the gym and they all seem happy to have me back in yoga class. It's been awhile so my body isn't as used to the workout as it normally would be, but I make it through without any battle scars.

I go grocery shopping to stock up my barren kitchen, and then spend the rest of the afternoon on the phone with Renee. We talk for five hours straight. I could have just told her that I was busy, but I want to talk. I need someone to listen.

I make myself a healthy salad for dinner and sit in front of the TV to watch a foreign movie.

As I sip my wine, I look around at my empty family room.

Is this what life holds for me? God, I'm so boring. I don't have many friends; I don't have a boyfriend, no job, no close family. What am I supposed to do until I die?

"You're so depressing. Stop it." I slap myself and get up from my place on the floor. "You're going out."

It's nine on a Saturday night. I'm twenty-two, so of course there's got to be something going on in this city that I can occupy myself with.

I pick the shortest dress out of my closet that I can find and a nice pair of heels. As I'm doing my hair and makeup, I call one of the girls from work. She and I aren't really friends, but we're cordial and she's always talking about going out on the weekends. Her name is Mandy, obviously a closeted stripper, and she's a grad student at Harvard so we're about the same age.

She is thrilled that I called and tells me to meet her at a club where she and her friends are headed.

I step out of the cab and stand in the short line to get in. At first, the place looks like any other low-key bar, but a text from Mandy informs me that they're downstairs, which is a different world.

The music is thumping, the lights are flashing and it is packed to the point of suffocation.

I find an already tipsy Mandy by the bar and immediately start drinking. I have some catching up to do if I want to hang with her friends.

We talk and dance. I get my mind off of my silly, angst-ridden life and lose myself.

"So, why are you so down lately?" Mandy shouts into my ear as we sit at a table in the corner, taking a break from the dance floor.

"Boy troubles."

"Oh, I'm sorry." She looks sad for me. "I know what that's like."

"No, it's fine. I get a little better every day."

"I'm glad you know how to handle it. I was crying a year after my boyfriend broke up with me."

"Why did you break up?" I ask, not really caring.

"I cheated on him."

"Really?" That surprises me. She doesn't seem like the type.

"Yeah, it was a one-time thing and I regret it, of course. I was just so stupid."

"Did he forgive you?"

"Yeah, we're friends now. We still love each other, but I don't think we can be in a relationship right now. Maybe in a couple of years."

I nod, taking a long sip of my mojito. It's my third tonight, along with shots and a glass of disgusting beer. I might order another one of those later, though. It's filling.

I grab Mandy's hand and take her to the dance floor.

As I dance, I feel hands on my waist and turn around to see a guy standing there. He's not bad looking at all, so I go with it. He pulls me closer and tells me his name is Mike.

Mike is a very good dancer, and I like the way his hips feel against mine. He bends his head down so that we can talk a little bit, despite the blaring music.

He's twenty-five and a teacher at one of the public schools around the area. He has blonde hair, and I can't tell the color of his eyes because of the flashing lights above our head. His arms are muscular, though, and I like how they hold me close.

He buys me drinks and I feel myself wobbling.

Last call is around two-thirty. Mike says we need to leave if we want a cab because we won't be able to find one when all the clubs close.

He helps me outside and we wait on the sidewalk for about five minutes before a yellow taxi pulls up in front of us.

"Where are you going?" Mike asks me.

"Beacon Hill. That's where I live." I hiccup.

He laughs quietly, "You're kind of cute."

"Thank you." I smile.

He makes a move to kiss me and I let him, but it doesn't feel right. I pull away and shake my head.

"I would ask if I could come up, but I don't think you would like that very much," Mike says regretfully when we reach my townhouse.

"Yeah," I reply.

Mike helps me up the stairs and I unlock my door. I tell him that I had fun and he waves when I shut him out on the front step. "Bye."

I'm an absolute mess, getting up the stairs. And I know I will hate myself in the morning. I'm strangely coherent and sharp for being so drunk. Besides the fact that I can't make my limbs do what I want them to, my brain is working rather well.

The worst thing to do while drunk is call someone. Of course, that's what I do. I remember being on the phone and just talking. About what, I'm not sure.

I don't know who I talked to until the next morning.

"Oh, God." I groan, sitting up in bed. It's not too bright outside because it's raining heavily, but the little light there is makes my head pound.

I'm still in my dress from last night and look around. There's no vomit anywhere so I take that as a good sign.

I get into the shower and wash away the night before. The heat feels so good and after I'm done, I just lay in bed naked. The energy is sapped from my body.

I pick up my phone to see a new text message from Alice: We need to talk. You called me last night and I want to make sure you're okay. Call me when you wake up.

I feel like such a fool.

What the hell did I say to her? I can't remember.

I make myself some oatmeal for breakfast and force it down my throat before I call Alice. The phone rings twice before she picks up.

_"Bella? Thank God. I was so worried. I almost drove into the city to make sure you were all right."_

"I'm so sorry Alice. I don't know what happened. I'm so stupid. I never meant to call and wake you up."

_"I figured. It's fine. I miss talking to you. We haven't spoken in over a month."_ She sounds sad.

"I know. I've been... away."

"_Oh_," she says, _"okay, then. Um, are you doing well?"_

"Yes, I'm fine."

_"Are you sure? You were saying some really strange stuff last night."_

"I probably embarrassed myself, didn't I?"

"_Not too badly. But... I'm sorry you're hurting so much."_

I don't know what to say. What did I tell when I was drunk?

"_He's not doing very well, if that makes you feel any better,_" Alice says.

My breath hitches in my throat. I didn't expect for her to mention him, even in passing.

_"I probably shouldn't even be speaking to you right now. Edward leaves the room anytime someone brings you up. Of course, everyone is still oblivious as to what's going on, but he's sad. I can tell."_

We don't talk for a few minutes. It's just awkward silence.

_"How's your job?_" she asks uncomfortably.

"It's good. I cut back my hours so I can focus on a few other things."

_"I heard you were looking for a new CEO to replace your father."_

"Where did you hear that from?"

_"The business section of the paper. Jasper loves that kind of stuff. He brought it up a couple days ago,"_ she replies.

"Oh." I pick at the edge of my blanket.

Again, we sit and don't talk. I have to say something. Anything to break up the silence. She probably hates me. His whole family must. Even if they don't know exactly what is going on, they see the change in him. They know it was something big.

"I never meant to hurt him so badly," I whisper, not really wanting to talk.

_"I know you didn't. But I guess everyone goes through their rough patches. Someone was bound to get hurt in all of this."_

"I thought it would be better..."

_"You'll both get over everything soon,"_ Alice assures me.

I don't know if I want him to get over me. Then he'll forget us. Forget what we had.

_"And the boys..."_ she begins.

"The boys? What about the boys?" I perk up. "Tell me."

"_No...__Nothing_," she stutters. _"I'm glad you're okay, Bella."_

The phone goes dead, and I want to scream. She can't do that. She can't tempt me with morsels, and then leave. It's not fair. But then I ask myself if I want to know how the boys are doing. It will just bring me more heartache in the long run. I can't see them or be with them, so why should I care?

The problem is I do care about those boys. I care a lot. More than I should.

I hang up the phone and go back to sleep. It's too hard to stay awake right now.

My stomach protests and I have to get up a couple hours later for nourishment. I'm sick now, not because of a hangover-that has passed. I'm sick because of the conversation with Alice. She makes me want to inquire about Edward's life. How's he really doing? Is he sad? Still angry? Are he and Irina mending their relationship like she hoped they would?

So many questions that I will never get the answer to.

I spend the rest of my day working on my laptop, researching the candidates to replace Charlie. I start at the top and create little packets with all the information I can find about each man and his business or accomplishments. I try to think like my father would and how each person would affect the company. I focus on one man at a time.

The first guy I encounter is a person I actually know. A good friend of my father's, Aro Volturi is probably the sweetest man on the planet. Every time I met him, he would make me laugh, and he was always giving money away to someone in need. He served as a mentor to Charlie and was sad to see him go. The only problem with Aro was his age. He was old, pushing eighty, and I didn't want the added pressure of running a large company to push him into an early grave. Then I'd be sitting in the same position a couple of years from now.

After compiling a folder on my computer for Aro, I back away from my research for a break.

I decide to get another cat and start looking at shelter websites. I bought a tabby when I first moved to Boston, but she was a bitch of an animal. I still grew quite fond of her, though. Unfortunately, she ran in front of a car one morning. Actually, the morning I met Edward.

I stop my typing to think about that.

It seemed like so long ago, but really wasn't. Five months? Six months? Did it matter?

I need to stop beating myself up over this.

I continue to search for a cat well into the night and leave all thoughts of Edward to fester in the deepest corners of my mind.

* * *

**A/N: **Another day in the dumps for Bella, eh? She has to learn. This is all apart of the process. Do not worry too much about her.

As always, thanks to Jenny for the beta'ing. She's incredible. And thanks to everyone for reading!


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

* * *

The dress code for today is all white. I have to attend a women's luncheon outside of the city. It is being put on by a nice group of women who live in the Boston area and help out with the arts. I had donated some money a couple months back and as a thank you, they invited everyone to a light lunch party.

I was going to decline the invitation, but since my name is on the program as a "Gold Member", I thought it might be prudent for me to attend.

My crisp white dress is perfect to catch some of the breeze that is flowing through the city. Wonderful day for a lunch outside.

The drive is pleasant and the scenery fades from tall buildings to thick green trees as I leave the city. The gathering is going to be at a country club, on a golf course specifically, and I don't really know how today is going to turn out. I usually have to keep to myself at events like this. I'm young enough to probably be some of these ladies' granddaughter. Yet, I'm going to be conversing with them and talking as if we're old friends.

My phone rings while I'm on the highway, and I put it on speaker when I see Rose's number.

"Hi," I say loudly.

_"Hi. You know, I was thinking, maybe you should go see a therapist or some shit like that."_

"And why would I go see a therapist?"

_"For someone to talk to. Someone who won't judge you or have any prior knowledge of the situation. It might be nice to get a third party view."_

"I think I'm okay, Rose. I'm don't need to be put on suicide watch."

_"I'm not saying you do, but it might help."_

"Help? Help with what? I'm fine."

_"You are most definitely not fine._" She scoffs. _"You didn't see what you looked like in Forks. It was scary, Bella. You were so withdrawn and sad. I don't ever want to see that again."_

"Rose, listen..."

_"No, you listen, it scared me. Obviously this thing with Edward is affecting you more than you want to realize. I'm not trying to push you around, but please promise me you'll think about it."_

I sigh, defeated. She's my older sister and as much as I hate to admit, she knows me rather well.

"Okay, I will think about seeing someone."

"_Good_." Rose lets out a deep breath. _"Now I can sleep and not worry about you so much. What are you doing?"_

"Driving to that ladies' lunch I told you about last week."

_"Oh, yeah. That sounds like fun."_

"Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell."

She laughs at me, _"Have fun at your old people's thing."_

Rose hangs up on me a second later, and I roll my eyes at her immaturity.

I only drive about ten more minutes before I arrive at the country club, and a nicely dressed valet is there to take my car. Another valet leads me through the nice restaurant and out the back towards the golf course.

The lawn is beautifully done in circular tables under light blue tents. Bright green centerpieces sit on each table, which also hold place cards with seating arrangements.

Men walk around with appetizers and flutes of champagne. I snag one and take a small sip, letting the bubbles fill my throat.

Time to mingle.

Several of the ladies know who I am and make a point to say hello. Many of them ask me how my mother is doing, and I only say good things. They also ask me how I'm cooping with the passing of my father. Even though Charlie died almost a year ago, people still feel the need to show me sympathy. Maybe they're just being nice, but I'm kind of getting tired of it.

I find myself in the company of a few younger women, housewife types, who tend to chatter on about nothing but gossip. I figure I might as well hear the chatter going around the city.

"Did you hear about Misty McDonald?" a redhead asks the group. They all sigh and make monosyllabic sounds of disgust.

"What happened?" another one asks.

"She was having an affair with her husband's boss. Oh my God, when I heard, I called Amy and we talked for hours. We couldn't believe she would do that. Who does she think she is?"

"I heard her husband is taking the kids and walking out," someone interjects.

"Like he can act upset. He was fucking around with her best friend last year. She stayed and now look at the mess she's in."

"Affairs are just tacky." The redhead tips her champagne glass back. "They make everyone look bad and nothing good comes out of it."

"Well, Misty is just heartbroken." Another lady tsks.

"That's not what I heard. I heard that she and the boss are still shacking up. He wants to marry her."

"Isn't he already married? They don't ever leave their wives for the mistress. That's been the rule since the beginning of time. They have good lives at home. Mistresses are just used for fun. Nothing more."

"If they know that, then why do these sluts get involved with married men anyway?" A blonde giggles. "It's absolutely absurd. That's why my husband doesn't have any female friends. I won't allow it."

"It's sick. These older married guys have their fun and hurt their wives. It's just shameful for everyone involved."

I have to keep myself from shaking. I'm extremely embarrassed and upset. Their words, while so hurtful, are so true. I feel like the scum of the earth. What right did I have to come between a man and his family? Did I not see the damage I was causing when Edward and I started our affair? Did I not want to see it?

I was the slut these women were talking about. If word got out about Edward and me, would I be the subject of constant gossip? Would I be brandished with a scarlet 'A'? I can only imagine how Misty McDonald was feeling right now.

"Bella, is that you?" I nearly jumped out of my skin when I hear my name.

I turn around to see Esme Cullen standing behind me, a bright smile on her face. Of course she's here. Of course the world would deal me up this hefty dose of irony.

"I thought I saw your name in the pamphlet. I wasn't sure if it was really you, though." She hugs me tightly. I miss her touch and her warmth.

"I didn't know you would be here," I say, my voice shaky.

"Of course. I love this foundation." Esme lets me go. "How have you been? I haven't seen you in so long."

"I know. I've been out of town."

"That's what I figured. The boys miss you so much. You're all they talk about. I swear, it's like they have a crush on you. But you know how young boys are." She laughs. I join in awkwardly.

"I've missed them too." I want to suggest that we all meet up, but that would be highly inappropriate.

"It's such a beautiful day," Esme looks up to the sky.

She talks some more and I keep my head down. I'm ashamed to even look at her. Esme Cullen is everything I wasn't. Classy and beautiful and smart. I thought I was all of those things once upon a time, but after listening to the ladies gossip like hens today, I can't even see myself in any positive capacity. I used to not care what people thought about me, but this was different. Completely different.

After a lull in conversation and against my better judgment, I ask, "So, how's Edward?"

She looks at me and smiles somewhat sadly. "He's getting better."

"Getting better?"

"Oh, yes. He was absolutely sick for about a week. He couldn't even get out of bed. He canceled all of his appointments and Jasper had to bring someone is to help out. We thought Edward might need surgery or something, but he's much better. Just the flu, Carlisle thinks."

"But... he's okay now?" I ask hopefully.

"Yes, but he's... just strange." Esme sips from her glass.

"Strange?"

"Well, he's thinking about giving up his practice and moving away. I've never heard of him talk like this before. He loves working with Jasper so much, but the other day he told me he was looking into selling his half or letting Jasper buy him out. I just don't get it."

This is all taking me by surprise.

"What's he going to do if he sells?" I try to sound as uncaring as I can.

"I'm not quite sure. I'm assuming you can be a dentist anywhere, but George just started his senior year and he absolutely loves it at St. George school." She laughs to herself. "George at St. George."

"Wow. It sounds like he's going through a lot."

"Yes, of course, but he has Irina. She's home more often now." Esme smiles.

That breaks my heart. I'm shattered even though I shouldn't be. This is what I want for him. He has his wife and she's helping him through this hell that I possibly created. But I don't want her to help him. I want Irina as far away from him as possible. Edward's life is crumbling around him. Was I to blame?

"It was nice seeing you again, Esme. Excuse me, I have to use the restroom." I quickly scamper away without another word.

While I'm in the bathroom, I send a quick message to Rose that she was right. I need to see a therapist as soon as possible.

* * *

Dr. Susan Taylor is considered one of the best therapists in the New England. She has a laundry list of accomplishments, and the wall of her office is covered in diplomas. It makes me feel a little better about paying five hundred dollars an hour.

I sit with my legs crossed on the leather sofa and try to look everywhere but at her. She is older with greying hair and a slight frame. Her eyes are hidden behind black rimmed glasses, and she's dressed in a smart business suit with heels that I notice are a little too high for a woman her age.

"So, it's nice to meet you." She says sweetly. "This is our first session, so you can tell me anything you want. I won't judge you and everything you say will be kept confidential."

I nod.

"Why don't you start from the beginning."

"Well, when I first moved to the city, I met this man named Edward..."

I tell her everything. Every little detail of my affair is put on display. Every kiss and touch and kiss and secret moment. I don't leave anything out because I want her to be well informed of my situation. I feel ashamed and dirty at some of the things pouring from my mouth, but don't stop. I need to get this out.

Dr. Taylor writes on a small pad, but doesn't say a word. She nods in all the right places and taps her pin against her knee.

"...so I ended it." I finish my tale with a final huff.

"Well, that is quite the story." She sits up in her chair.

"I just want someone to tell me that I did the right thing. I was letting him go because we just wouldn't work. We can't work."

"Does he love you?" She asks.

I shake my head. "Of course not. I think it was just physical for him."

"Do you really believe that, Bella?" Dr. Taylor asks.

"Yes. Why else would he blow up at me like that when I ended things?"

"Of course, I'm only just assuming things, but from my experience, a man who says the things that Edward has said to you is not just having a physical relationship."

"But I'm just his girlfriend. He has a wife at home and kids that he loves to death. He knows that we can't have anything more. He accepted that when we started this. I just never expected to fall for him."

"Do you think you're to blame for the affair?"

"I don't know," I think out loud. "Neither one of us is really more guilty than the other."

"You were seduced by an older man," she says.

"There was a fair share of seducing on my part as well, I guess." I bow my head in shame.

"That's not what I meant. You allowed yourself to be seduced by him. You wanted him to seduce you. In your mind, you two deserved each other. There is fault on both sides. Why do you think you went after him?"

"Because... I was attracted to him."

"It's more than that, Bella. We're attracted to people all the time, but we don't act on it. He took your self-control away from you. Or more accurately, you gave him control."

That sounds about right.

From the moment I met Edward, he controlled me. His eyes drew me in. His lips, so soft and welcoming, demanded my attention. His hands were forceful and powerful. I needed them on my body at all times. I craved that man.

"I'm such a slut," I say quietly.

"That is not true, Bella. That's not true at all" She sits forward.

"Yes, it is! He is married and I knew that, but I went for him anyway. Why?"

Unfortunately for me, Dr. Taylor has another patient and can't answer my question. She suggests that I come back next week. I want to tell her that I'm more important than the next nutcase coming in and need her full attention, but shake her hand and leave.

That night, while I'm making a small dinner of baked chicken and vegetables, my phone rings. The name on the screen makes my heart stop. Edward. I never deleted him from my contacts and now he's calling.

I wipe my shaking hands and then pick up the phone.

"Hello?"

_"What the hell do you think you're doing?"_ His voice sends shivers up my spine. He's angry, but I miss the sound of his timber in my ear.

"What?" In contrast, my voice is weak and shaky.

_"I told you to stay away from me. That includes my family! First you call Alice and then talk to my mother?"_

"Edward... I didn't plan for any of that to happen."

_"Just stop it, Bella. Stay out of my life before you ruin it even more than you already have."_

Then he's gone.

* * *

**A/N: **Whoa. Harsh.

Obviously everyone is hurting and some people, won't name names, aren't handling it very well. As I said, all apart of the process.

He's not a douche. I promise. Some revelations in this chapter, more in the next one.

Won't be updating next week, I think. Have to do some more writing before I update again. Just wait it out.

Obviously, thanks to Jenny.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

* * *

My new cat is the cutest thing I've ever seen. His body is pure white, but a black spot covers his right eye. His name is Sam, and he is only about a year old. He's so friendly and he fits right in at home.

After my dramatic phone call with Edward, Sam is the only man I can trust. I got him the next day, just to have someone I can cuddle with. It's a sad fact. I realize that I'm turning into the quintessential cat lady, but I've accepted that and moved on.

A week later, Sam has become completely comfortable.

I'm working at my table, once again on my laptop doing research. He hops up on the table, shuffling some of the papers around.

"Bad cat. Get off of the table."

He slinks over to me, wrapping his long white tail around my wrist. He stares up at me with clear blue eyes.

"What could you possibly want? I just fed you." I pick him up and set him on the floor.

He purrs and cuddles up to my legs under the table. He likes the silk of my pajama bottoms and rubs his face over the fabric.

"Stop that." I kick him away gently.

I push Sam away from my legs and start to get back to work, but the universe has other plans. My townhouse is filled with the chimes of my doorbell and the ringing echoes off the walls.

I look down at my less than flattering set of pajamas, but can't bring myself to care about looking appropriate for guests.

I get up from the table and go to the door, looking through the peephole.

A set of vibrant green eyes stare me down and my heart takes off like a pack of wild horses. At first, I think Edward is on other side, but then recognize the youthful face. George Cullen is at my door.

I think about the advantages and disadvantages of the situation. I shouldn't even be considering talking to him. His father has made it clear that he wants me to have no contact with his family.

I open the door a crack. I don't think George was expecting me to answer because he looks slightly surprised.

"Hi, Bella." He smiles tentatively.

"Hi." I smile in return.

I haven't seen George in months, at least two, and he somehow looks older. His face is covered in a shadow of whiskers and his hair has been cut a little shorter than I remember. He's also a couple inches taller, looking more and more like his father. He's dressed in a school uniform complete with khakis and a navy blazer.

"May I come in? I want to talk to you." He shoves his hands in his pockets.

"Shouldn't you be in school?" I point out his backpack.

"I decided to ditch. This is more important. Can I come in?" he repeats.

"I don't think that's such a good idea."

"Please, Bella." His eyes look so sad and just like Edward, he has a way of making me crumble.

Against my better judgment, I open the door and let him through.

Sam immediately took notice of our visitor and circled George's feet.

"Hi, cat," he says, looking down.

"He's new. Sorry if he's a little too affectionate," I say.

"No, it's okay."

We stand in my foyer for an awkward couple of seconds.

"So, would you like something to drink?" I ask.

"Yes, please."

I lead him into the kitchen and he decides on water, so I hand him a bottle. He sits on one of the stools and plays with the cap.

I clear my throat. "Why are you here?"

"Where have you been?" George raises his head.

"Out of town. I had to take care of business." I shrug.

"I tried calling your cell a couple of times, but didn't know what to say. I figured a face-to-face might be better."

"That was you?" I ask, remembering all those calls I got back in Forks. "Does your father know you're here?"

"No. The school will probably call and tell him I'm not there, but I'll make something up."

"Can I help you with something? I still don't understand why you're here."

"We miss you, Bella." His voice is so soft that I almost don't hear him. "Jonathan keeps asking about you and I... I just don't know what to tell him anymore. I used to be able to make up excuses, but I'm running out of things to say."

"Why would he care? I'm just a friend of your father's."

George raises one of his eyebrows. "You and I both know you're more than a _friend._"

My mouth drops a little, but I snap it shut.

"I'm not a kid, Bella," he sighs. "I know about the affair and I know that you love my father."

"George, I think you should leave." I turn away from him, trying furiously to find something to do. I grab a washcloth and wipe down the counter.

"My parents _hate_ each other and I know I probably shouldn't be here, but I couldn't just let you leave us. We've been so happy when you're around and we miss you."

"No, you don't. You don't know what you're saying." I scrub furiously on the already immaculate surface.

"You've become a constant in my dad's life and everyone else might overlook the impact you've had, but I can't." He is suddenly at my side, and I realize just how tall he is.

"I can't have you here, please leave." I sigh, trying to keep myself from falling apart. "Whatever your father and I had is over. You can't bring it up again."

"And act like nothing ever happened? That's bullshit!" he shouts. "My parents make each other miserable. I can't take it anymore. Please, Bella, you have to do something."

This is an odd turn of events. Throughout this affair, I could only imagine what Edward's kids would think of me for possibly breaking up their parents. Would they hate me? They should. Never did I think that George would be in my house, trying to pursue me of the opposite.

"Look, I love my mother, but... she's difficult." George pulls his hands through his hair. "She's never home, and when she is, she's short with us. She would rather be traveling than being a mom and she doesn't hide that fact. My dad is doing all he can, but he's going insane without you, Bella."

"This is none of your business." I say strongly.

"How is this none of my business? It affects my family, my brothers! I can't see my dad suffer any more. He loves you."

My hand stills then starts to shake slightly. I can't compose myself enough to stand anymore. I take a seat on a stool.

_He loves me? _

"You've been more of a mother than we've had in the past... five years. I know that's horrible to say, but it's true. We miss you."

"Don't say that. Your mother loves you."

"Well, then she should act like it," he grunts to himself.

"How did you find out about the affair?" I ask.

"It wasn't that hard. He lights up when you walk into a room. I've _never _seen him smile like that. Never." He sits next to me. "I'm not saying that I condone what you did because people are going to get hurt, but I can't see my dad live like this anymore. He's heading for depression. I'm worried."

"He loves your mother."

"He's not in love with her, like he is with you. I haven't seen them kiss in like, two years and the fighting is... too much. I can't take the fighting."

"You kids are so perceptive." I shake my head.

"And yet everyone treats us like we're stupid."

I don't know how appropriate this conversation is, and it probably shouldn't be happening. I'm talking about my affair with Edward with his sixteen year old son. I'm sure that's bordering on illegal.

"If he doesn't love her, why are they still together?" I whisper.

"It's... complicated." He takes a sip of water. "Do you love him?"

"I'm not answering that."

We're silent again. He taps his fingers against the counter top and clicks his teeth together.

"I hear you guys are moving?" I say quietly.

"Yeah. They're selling the house."

"Where are you going?"

"Newport. Grandma and Grandpa are giving us their house. They're looking at permanently staying in Florida."

"How is your father doing?"

"He's... sad without you. He misses you. We all do."

"Well, as I said before, there can't be anything else. The subject is dead." I wipe my face of the one tear that has fallen and get up. "I would like for you to leave."

George gets up from his seat and puts his backpack on over his shoulder. "You know, he would be with you if he could."

"What does that even mean?"

George stops in the hallway before we reach the door, "There's this...clause in my great-grandfather's will. It's an archaic rule that basically forbids divorce."

"Is that true?"

He rolls his eyes. "Yes, it's true. If my dad asks for a divorce, he is cut out of any inheritance; therefore, his sons are cut out of any inheritance. My mother has to be the one to initiate the divorce or he's fucked."

"Oh."

"I hope that clears some things up for you. He would choose you any day of the week. I guarantee it. But he's staying for us, his kids. He's staying so that we can have a future." George opens the door and gallops down the stairs to his car on the curb.

I stand with the door open for a couple of minutes, probably looking like some kind of crazy person. My suspicions are confirmed when the old lady from next door, stops in front of my house.

"Hello, Bella. Are you okay?" she asks, picking up some of her dog's shit from the sidewalk.

"Yes, I'm fine, Ms. Cope. Are you having a good day?"

"As good a day that an eighty-nine year old woman can." She waves and continues down the street.

I shut the door and sit on the chair in the foyer.

Edward loves me? He loves me?

But according to whom? His sixteen-year-old son. That's not that best resource for information. I wonder if George will tell Edward about our meeting? Probably not.

I call Rose. She's the only one who I can trust to keep me sane right now.

"_That is the most bullshit thing I've ever heard. He can't get a divorce because of some inheritance!" _she shouts.

"I just don't know what to make of it."

"_Sounds like a bunch of nonsense to me. Edward probably sent him over with that excuse." _

"You think?"

"_Maybe. Maybe not. A married man would probably say something like that." _

"I feel so stupid. How did I get myself into this situation?" I slam my head against the wall.

"_Don't start with that. You know how you got into this. You followed your lusty feelings, and then got in too deep. Now you have to be a grown up about it and deal with this." _

"I have to deal with this."

The rest of the day is spent with me thinking about Edward. What else can I think about? Even when we aren't together, he's on my mind.

Sam, sensing my mood, curls into my body on the couch. He purrs and tries to provide me with some form of comfort. It's not really working. My mind is too occupied at the moment.

I've gotten so good at suppressing my thoughts about him over our separation. But this day has brought him back in full force. I need him now more than ever. Not just physically, but emotionally. I need Edward to whisper into my ear just how much he misses me and how good we were together. Why can't he let me go?

Could he love me? Is what George said true?

"Silly, stupid girl," I tell myself.

The next morning, I'm woken up by a shrill ringing of my cellphone. I curse whoever is calling so early on a Sunday.

"What?" I say rudely.

"_Gosh, I know it's early, but you could be a little more chipper." _

"Alice? Why are you calling me?" I groan.

"_There's a baseball game in a couple of hours. I'll meet you at Fenway." _

"No, I can't go to anymore Red Sox games. I can't talk to you, either. We shouldn't be friends."

Just thinking about what happened at the last one is enough to keep me away from baseball for the rest of my life.

"_Come on, Bella. I can't stand go to alone again," _she begs. "_All Jasper does is talk to Edward and..."_

"Edward? Is he going to be there?"

"_Well, I'm assuming. We have season tickets." _

"He wouldn't want me to be there."

"_Oh, come on! You can't avoid each other forever." _

"Yes, I think we can. That's what he wants."

"_I can certainly say that is the exact opposite of what he wants," _she replies suggestively. "_But it's not my place to meddle. I just want you there." _

"No, Alice. I can't. It's not a good idea for us to be in the same vicinity."

"_Fine!" _She sighs dramatically. "_Okay, I'll make sure he's not there. Then will you come?" _

I think for a second.

It would be nice to get out of the house and I do miss Alice, so I agree.

Half an hour later, Alice texts me what time to meet. She assures me that Edward won't be around to make me nervous.

I dress in the same outfit as the first game. I don't have a problem wearing the Red Sox cap this time because I want to hide my face. I'm going back to a scene that holds hot and heavy memories. I feel slightly ashamed, but aroused more than anything.

"There you are." Alice hugs me at the entrance to Fenway.

A genuine smile spreads across my face, and I'm animated while talking to my friend as we wait in line to get in. She makes no mention of the affair or my seemingly perpetual depression that I'm trying to break free from.

Our seats, behind first base, are empty. I'm thankful that Alice kept her word and Edward is nowhere in sight. Unfortunately, I didn't expect George to be in his place. He and Jasper are the only ones there. I don't like this situation at all, but it's too late for me to run.

"Hi, Bella. Thank God you're here. Alice would have been cranky all day." Jasper gets up when he sees me. He gives me a big hug.

"I'm glad I came. It's a beautiful day for a ball game." I smile

"That it is," he agrees.

"Hey, Bella. Haven't seen you in a while." George waves. He's actually glaring at me with a look that suggests I haven't heard the last of him.

"Hi." I turn and sit down in the seat next to Alice.

We wait for the game to start. I purposefully ignore George even though he tries to engage me in conversation several times. To Alice and Jasper, he must have appeared to be nice, but I knew better. His voice was tight and he was daring me to bring up yesterday.

On one occasion, I can't help myself. During the fifth inning, he takes the seat next to me while Alice and Jasper cuddle in front of us.

"Leave me alone," I whisper to him.

"No, not until you admit that you love my father." He bites back.

"You know I do, but it's not enough."

"Then do something about it."

"Do you know what you're asking? You want me to resume something that's completely inappropriate and shouldn't have happened in the first place."

"Yes, because it makes him happy. My mom has always had her happiness. She does whatever she wants and doesn't care who she hurts. She doesn't even know she's doing it, but I can't take seeing him like this anymore. Please, Bella. He needs you."

_And I need him. _

"Did your father put you up to this?"

"What?" He nearly shouts. "Are you kidding me? He would kill us both if he knew I was interfering, but I have to be the grown up in this situation because the two of you are such high schoolers."

"Your parents have been married for sixteen years. They have four children together. Your brain doesn't understand what you're asking me to do. I won't split up a family any more than I already have."

"You split up our family without even doing anything. That's what you don't get, Bella. The moment he saw you, there was no hope for his marriage."

"I can't, George." I turn away. "Just stop."

He doesn't talk to me again for another two innings, but stays in his seat.

By the time the sixth inning arrives, I have to get away and make up some excuse about going to the bathroom. I nearly run up the stairs and finally let out a breath when I reach the level of concessions.

My throat is suddenly parched and I stand in the long line for a water. I keep myself busy by people watching and humming to myself.

After ten minutes of waiting, a strong arm wraps around my middle and pulls me against a hard chest.

I let out a squeak that quickly turns into a moan when warm lips settle on my neck, not kissing, just sitting there.

"I can't tell you how hard these past few months have been." His voice is in my ear, shaky and deep, "I missed you so much, Bella."

"No. Please leave me alone," I whimper.

His large hand splays against my stomach and rubs horizontally across my shirt, grabbing and bunching as it goes. On his wrist, I feel the heavy silver watch I gave him for his birthday.

"I need to talk to you," he mutters.

We're so close and after our separation, I realize just how much I've needed his touch. It's magnetic and hypnotizing. He could ask me to kill the woman in front of me and I would. He's dangerous.

"Then talk."

"Not here." He finally kisses my skin. "I'm going out of town next week, but I'm coming back on Friday. Meet me then, at the museum at noon."

"Edward, I can't..." I say, even though I don't mean it. I want to be angry at him for how he treated me. I had a speech prepared. My brain doesn't want to work, though.

"Yes, you can," he growls. "You _have _to. Please, Bella. I can't stay away any longer. I know... you probably don't want me, but I have to talk to you."

I try to speak, but can't and nod instead.

"Thank you," He kisses my shoulder. "Thank you, so much."

"Why are you here?"

"I wouldn't pass up an opportunity to see you after all this time."

"How did you know I would be here?"

"Jasper told me I couldn't come. He was really vauge, so I just assumed it had something to do with you." He gives me one final squeeze. "Friday at noon. Don't forget."

He's gone as quickly as he arrived and it takes me a second to breathe again.

Was that a dream?

By the way my heart is beating and the way his scent lingers on my skin, I know that it's not.

* * *

**A/N: **So we have a little more insight into Edward's "douchness". There's always a reason. What will they say to each other in the next chapter? What could happen? Angst!

As always, thanks to Jenny because she's amazing. And thanks to everyone who is reading.

Also, "The Affair" was nominated for story of the week over at The Lemonade Stand. If you go over there and vote, it would make me very happy. www . tehlemonadestand


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

* * *

The Renaissance room has never been one of my favorites in the museum, but there's one painting that I'm absolutely fascinated with.

I refuse to look at the name or who the artist is because I want to just look at it. I don't want to know any other information other than what I see before me.

A mother is giving her child a bath. They're understandably completely obsessed with each other. The baby looks at his mother as if there is no other person on earth. I'm sure that to him, that's true. It's a simple scene with so much poignancy and meaning. I love how the brushstrokes are soft and the canvas seems like a snapshot of their happiness.

It reminds me of my mother and how we've grown closer over the past few months, but still don't have any kind of "normal" mother/daughter relationship. She would never have bathed me as a child. I don't think I would have let her. I much preferred my nanny. She was softer and had more patience. And then I started school, deciding to spend the rest of my growing years abroad. Renee didn't seem to mind that her daughter was so far away, and I certainly didn't question our arrangement.

I know we love each other, but we just have a strange way of showing it. What would that mean for my child? Would I even get that far in life? God, I hope so. I wanted it so badly. But with who?

I smell him before I see him.

Edward soon stands in my periphery. He is surprisingly not in scrubs or work clothes today. He's in a casual gray suit that's unbuttoned and light blue shirt. His shoes are dark brown and shiny.

"What's with the getup?" I ask, trying to not make this awkward.

"I had a lecture to give this morning at TUFTS Dental school."

"Oh," I nod, "you look nice."

"So do you," he says.

"The last time I saw you, you were yelling at me in a crowded restaurant."

"No, I think I was groping you at a Red Sox game."

"Oh, that's right. How could I forget?" I just wanted him to bring it up, not me.

"I'm not sorry for that, but I am sorry for my outburst at dinner and the phone call. You took me by surprise and I wasn't prepared to have my heart ripped out that night." He's quiet and still hasn't looked at me.

"Your heart? I told you that I had feelings for you and you ran out faster than I could blink."

"Bella," he sighs, "not here. Let's leave so we can talk."

"And go where?"

"Just come with me. Please," he begs, taking my hand. His touch is soft and pleading. His fingers reach out, caressing the skin of my wrist and it's the most intimate contact I've had in months. His eyes nearly bore into mine and he leans in, very close.

"Edward, I don't think that would be a good idea."

"Please, Bella. I need to talk to you."

No!

The feminist in me wants to be mad at him. He treated me like shit. He screamed and yelled at me for nothing. I wanted him to suffer; to lie on the shower floor and cry like I did. Or t o vomit in the sink whenever I thought about what we had and how it ended. I wanted him to die inside like I did.

But the girl in me can't make him suffer. He's always had too much power. I should tell him no, but I can't. I want to listen to his excuses and feel his touch and roll in bed with him.

"Please, Bella." He whispers.

"Okay." I nod.

He grips my hand and leads me through the museum, down the stairs and to the exit. He gives the valet his ticket and we wait, still holding hands, for his car.

Edward drove the Jaguar today, and opens up my door. I sink into the seat and close my eyes, remembering the last time I was in this car and the night we had.

He gets behind the wheel and speeds off.

There's soft jazz playing and it reminds me of the things I've missed about Edward. He basically refuses to listen to anything else.

I smile and keep my hands occupied with the edge of my dress.

The city passes us by, and I start to see signs that lead outside of the city.

"Where are we going?" I ask, not too loudly. I don't want to disturb the peace.

"My house," he answers shortly, not taking his eyes off of the road.

His house.

I'm about to convulse in my seat. We've never discussed his place. His environment. It intrigues me and brings up a bunch of questions. How does he live? What kind of furniture does he have?

"I thought you were moving?" I ask.

"Who told you that?" His forehead scrunches up.

I shrug. "I forget."

"We might. I'm not sure, yet."

I'm quiet for the rest of the drive.

Edward lives only about half an hour outside of the city, but it seems as if it's much longer. It's like a different world here. The houses are family style, many of them large, but not mansions like in Newport. The lawns are perfect, and the white picket fences are freshly painted.

"This is nice," I say.

"It's home," Edward replies.

That hurts like a bullet. This is his home. His home with his wife and children. There's no place for me here.

Edward pulls up to a beautiful house. It's larger than the ones in the neighborhood. It's white with light blue shades, and a garden out front. It's quaint and perfect in every way.

The car shuts off when we're in the driveway and we sit on our asses for about ten minutes. I count each second and breath.

"No one's home so we can... talk or yell."

...or fuck.

I get out of the car and stand there until Edward leads me to his front door. It's painted bright red and doesn't seem to match the rest of the house.

"Um... Jonathan Francis' favorite color." Edward points out before opening the door.

The house is just as I would have imagined. Perfect and shiny and cozy.

Edward stands behind me as I walk through each room on the first floor.

The place is filled with reminders of a family.

Toys and video games and a dryer that's going somewhere in the basement. The kitchen is impressive, the appliances still warm from the morning. I imagine Edward making toast and eggs for the boys before rushing them into the car for school.

I see a picture on the fridge, clearly drawn by JF. It's a picture of a family, all stick figures. There's no mother, just the boys and Edward, standing in front of their house. On the smallest child's face, a frown instead of a smile.

"He's having a pretty hard time lately," Edward mentions.

"Why? Is everything okay?"

"Well, with George living at boarding school, we only see him on the weekends. Jonathan isn't taking it too well."

"Poor kid."

"And you. He misses you." Edward is suddenly behind me, very close. "We all do."

I pull away before I can allow myself to be corrupted anymore.

I continue throughout the lower level. I stop in the living room and can tell that no one really comes in here. The carpet is so pristine and the furniture is too classy for casual lounging.

I stop when I see the large oil portrait over the mantle. Unlike the picture on the fridge, this one is professionally done. It's massive and framed. Irina and Edward sit in the middle, surrounded by their four boys. Everyone is smiling and happy and... perfect.

My legs nearly give out and I feel wetness on my face. I'm crying and Edward catches me before I hit the floor.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for ruining your family."

"Bella, please, don't talk like that." His face nuzzles into my neck. "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. I'm sorry for blowing up at you before, but I can't live without you anymore. I love you."

"No, you don't. You love the sex and..."

"No, Bella! I love you and I don't care who knows it." He lifts me up, his lips on mine, and I feel us nestle into the soft cushions of the couch.

We're hungry for each other, starving after months apart. Edward is demanding and gentle, while our kiss grows stronger. Our bodies can't get any closer, but he tries to get us flush.

His hair is just as silky as I remember and I tug, trying to pull his face in any direction I want.

"I miss you and it took being away from you for me to realize it," he whispers. "I love you."

"I love you, too. So much." I kiss him harder.

I realize that I am doing this wrong, but can't bring myself to stop. I know I can't have Edward. I realize that now and I think I am okay with that, but I just want him one more time. If we're going to end, it has to be good.

He doesn't let me go as we climb the stairs.

I don't get a chance to see his room; I'm too occupied with his hands and kisses. We fumble around with our clothes, and I feel my back hit a dresser.

I throw his suit jacket somewhere across the room and then start unbuttoning his shirt. He's just as taught and sinewy as I remember. I rip off his belt, but don't go any further.

I bite my bottom lip trail my hand downward. I'm afraid to look at his dick. It will probably scare me after so long apart but I can feel how massive it is from our closeness.

My fingers reach into his pants and I lightly touch him. His cock fills with blood, jerking under my touch.

Edward closes his eyes and hisses through his teeth, bracing his hands on either side of the dresser.

"Bella…" he chokes out. "It's been so long."

"I know, I know," I mumble.

I feel myself being hoisted up onto the dresser. Edward's lips attack mine as he pushes himself between my legs and his hands start up my thighs, under my dress.

The dress is gone after another five minutes. He delicately removes my bra as well.

"Are you really sure about this?" Edward placed kisses over my shoulder, and then up my neck. "There's no going back, Bella.'

I nod and whimper.

Edward gets on his knees in front of the dresser and begins to pull my panties down my legs. Once they are discarded, he watches my movements with heavy eyes.

I try to cross my legs, feeling a little self-conscious, but Edward won't let me.

"Do you have any idea how amazing you are?" He stands back up, pushing himself into the gap between my legs.

The tip of his dick brushes across my center, and I cry out from the touch. He brings his lips to mine and continues to kiss the hell out of me. I can feel his cock slowly tracing the outline of my opening, and I split my legs instantaneously.

Edward's fingers re-climb their way up my legs until they reach my very wet core. He takes two fingers and spreads my juices before entering me with his digits.

I grip at his muscular shoulders as he pumps into my body with a vigor that brings my butt off of the wood.

We are both winded, and just as I think my release is coming, he pulls out of me.

"I just needed to get you ready," Edward says huskily.

He scoots me to the edge of the dresser and at the same time, impales me.

I have never been stretched like this before, and the pleasure that it brings is enough to make my eyes roll back in my head.

It's been so long and he feels so good.

We kissed urgently, my hands tangling in his hair; my legs wrap around his waist like a vice.

When he releases my lips, he chants my name between the soft kisses that he litters across my sweaty skin.

He thrusts inside me, whispering how much he loves me as I wrap my arms around his neck and try to love him back with every ounce of my being.

The only sounds in the room are our moans and the sound of our skin slapping against each other. The dresser vibrates under us. Fire runs through my veins as I allow myself, for the very first time, to feel completely and utterly loved by a man.

I throw my head back, hitting the mirror hard. I hear a crack, but can't bring myself to care.

I come violently, screaming his name and grabbing onto his back, digging my nails into the naked skin of his shoulders.

We both slow our movements, and I feel his warmth fill me. It takes us a long while to calm down, but once we do, I'm spent.

Edward pulls out of me and moves some hair out of my eyes. "You are… incredible."

"I've never felt like this before," I say truthfully. "I know that sounds stupid coming from a twenty-two year old, but it's true. I don't know what I'm doing. Please don't throw away your life for me. If we're over, then let's be over."

"I'm throwing away my life if I'm not with you. We're not over, we never have been." He holds my face close to his, "Trust me. I've gone over this a million different ways in my head, but the only happiness I find is if you're by my side."

He lifts me up and lays me in bed. I feel softs sheets around my body before Edward's arms hold me close.

"Can I sleep here?" I ask softly.

"I would like nothing more."

I drift off after that, but I still feel his lips anywhere he can reach.

A little while later, I'm not sure how long, I stretch my body awake. His arms fall from around me, and I look over at my companion. He's so sexy while he's sleeping, and I keep myself from kissing him.

I hope he's set his alarm. I'm sure the kids need to be picked up from school. And what about Irina? Was should going to be home soon? He never mentioned her and I never asked.

I slowly get out of bed and head to the adjoining bathroom. I take care of my business and as I'm washing my hands, try to stop myself from looking at the counters. Edward has a side and Irina has her own. It makes me a little sick to see that.

I leave the bathroom and pick up Edward's discarded shirt from the floor, putting it on.

I look around the room and am immediately drawn to a wall with a bookshelf. I see the spines of several classics and walk closer, wondering what Edward likes to read in his down time. Some of the books are older and have clearly been handled multiple times over.

The Kama Sutra sticks out on the shelf and I laugh quietly to myself, thinking about the different positions that he might be fantasizing about.

I take it down and as I do, a manila folder falls with it. It's heavier than I expect when I pick it up and don't know if my eyes should even be allowed to look inside. But I'm curious.

I set the book on the table next to me and open up the flap of the folder.

Inside are divorce papers. Their thick and filled with legal jargon that I can't comprehend, but seem very thorough. I can't bring myself to look past the first couple of pages.

I crawl back on the bed, folder in hand, and wake Edward gently.

"What? What's wrong?" His eyes open and he scratches his face.

"I found this on the bookshelf." I hold up the papers.

"Oh." He sits up. "What were you doing over there?"

"Reading?"

He grins a little. "They're my divorce papers. I haven't given them to Irina yet, though."

"She doesn't know?"

"I don't think so." He shakes his head, "She's been away for the past month. I meant what I said, Bella. I need you in my life, not her. I'm not only thinking about me, but my sons as well. We need you."

"Really?"

He nods, "I wasn't saying what you wanted to hear to get you into bed. This is real."

We sit on the bed in silence for a couple of minutes before he takes the pages from me. His deceleration is making me melt, but I know I need to keep my head. I've already jumped into bed with him like a crazy nymphomaniac. I want to keep somewhat of an upper hand, no matter how slight.

"You love me?" I whisper to myself.

"I love you so much," Edward kisses the corner of my mouth, "I loved you when I took you to that jazz club on our first date. I loved you when you came to my birthday party. I loved you when you came to George's birthday party and brought us a picnic. And I loved you when I shouted at you in the restaurant. I was a dick, but I've sorted my shit out."

"This can't be real." I shake my head .

"Did you see the date the divorce papers were drawn up?" He asks.

"No. Why?"

Edward points out a date on the top of the first page. It's sometime in April, but doesn't have any significance to me.

"Okay." I shrug.

He sets the papers down and one of his hands cradle my face, pulling me close by my neck. "It was the day after your first dental appointment."

It takes me a second to let it sink in and then I'm so overwhelmed by emotion.

"Really?" My voice cracks.

"Really, Isabella Swan." He kisses me gently.

Suddenly, everything falls into place, and I realize that I love this man more than I could ever imagine.

* * *

**A/N:**Reunited!

Obviously, it's been a long time since I've updated, but I warned you. So for our return to the story I kept it sweet and sour. Lots more to come, because shit hasn't even hit the fan yet. Can you believe that? All these chapters and not everyone knows yet! Oh my. More answers to come.

Thanks to Jenny for beta'ing. She's great. And everyone who is reading is great. Keep with it. We're not done.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

* * *

I sit on a park bench in the Commons. I have a cup of hot coffee in my hand, but I'm not drinking it. I'm just waiting until he arrives.

Edward and I scheduled a talk for this morning. We never really got a chance to discuss our revelations that we had at his house a couple days ago. There wasn't any time. Edward had to drop me back off in the city before going to pick the kids up from school. I felt sad to see him leave, but he promised that we would discuss everything soon.

Could this really be happening? Was he going to divorce her for me? This isn't how it's supposed to go. The man never leaves his wife for the mistress. That's what I was told. Maybe this time is different. I want to believe him; I really do, but I almost can't wrap my head around it. So much is happening so fast. Does he know what he wants? Do I?

I wait a little longer, my eyes scanning everyone who bypasses my bench.

Edward strolls through the park about five minutes later, looking happier than I've ever seen him. He's buoyant and smiles when he sees me. He's in another suit today. I assume another lecture.

"Hi." He leans in to kiss my lips before sitting down.

"Hi," I reply. "You seem excited about something."

"Because everything is just… better. So much better." He looks at me, placing his sunglasses on top of his head. "So, I guess we need to talk about a few things."

"Can we start with the dinner? I still don't understand your reaction. Well, I do, but it kind of took me by surprise."

"Look, Bella, I wasn't expecting you to say all of those things. I appreciate that you did, but I wasn't ready to admit to myself that I loved you, let alone that you had the same feelings for me. It was just so mind boggling. We had a good thing going on, and I didn't want to lose you, but I knew that I couldn't give you more. Not right then, anyway. Now, things are different."

"What things?"

"The fact that I can't see my life without you anymore. And not just as a woman I fuck occasionally. It's more than that; I think it always has been. You mean the world to me." He takes my free hand in his.

"Edward, this is a big deal." I turn towards him, "You're talking about leaving your wife for me and what if things aren't what you think they are. She's stable, she's consistent. I'm... not."

"You think I haven't thought about that? I know you're young. In ten years, who knows what you'll want. But for me, right now, I want you in every way possible, and that thought makes me happier than I can remember."

"I love hearing that, but I don't want you to make these life altering decisions if you haven't thought it through. You have kids and they need to be your first priority."

He chuckles to himself, "I'm a thirty-five year old man. I know the consequences of my actions. I learned that a long time ago. I'm well aware of the risks involved with my decision and I'm willing to deal with them."

"Are you sure?"

"Irina hasn't been my wife in a long time, Bella. Even if you and I don't start a relationship, I'm still divorcing her. It's over. She gets back soon and then I'm serving her papers."

"Why didn't you do that before?"

"I was thinking about things. I wasn't sure about where I wanted my life to go, but now I realize that Irina and I need to be divorced. It's what's best...for the both of us."

His words mean so much to me, but I'm starting to feel horrible. This is not something that's going to just blow over. People will get hurt. What will his family and friends think of him? What will they think of me? I'm the woman who is tearing his family apart. And what about Irina? I didn't have any remorse for her during our affair, but she will certainly be hurt by this. I am the cause of that pain.

And what about the inheritance?

I don't know how to bring that subject up. I can't tell him that George came to visit me, but we need to talk about it.

"Um... well, are you prepared for a divorce?" I ask.

"What do you mean?"

"Financially? She could take everything you have, especially if she finds out about us. What about your kids?"

"Thankfully, we signed a prenup before we got married, on request of my father. But that doesn't matter. I'm not going to get a divorce and not give her anything. Irina is the mother of my children, after all. But I honestly don't think she'll even want a lot in alimony."

"Why do you say that?"

"She makes a lot more money than I do. Surprisingly, photojournalism is a hot commodity. Who knew?" He laughs quietly.

"And what about child support?"

"If she asks for physical custody of the kids, I'll be shocked."

"This sounds all too... simple," I admit to him.

Edward takes my coffee and drinks a little. "You have to understand, we were married at eighteen. No one thought we were going to last a year, let alone sixteen. But I stuck it out for as long as I could."

"Edward, I have to tell you something." I move towards him.

"Okay." He shrugs. "What is it?"

"A couple of weeks ago, George came to my house."

"He what?"

"He knows... about us. He told me about why you couldn't get a divorce because of the clause in your grandfather's will and I know I shouldn't have talked to him. I'm sorry." I finish my rambling

"You told my son about our affair?" Edward seems a little upset.

"No. He already knew. I didn't tell him a thing."

He sighs, leaning back against the bench. "How did he take it?"

"He was fine, I think. He wasn't mad at us. He said he understood. He doesn't like to see you miserable."

Edward nods. "I hate that he's always such an adult. He shouldn't have to fight my battles for me."

"He cares about you. Don't be mad at him."

"I'm not. I wish he would have told me, though."

"You would have stopped him."

"Damn right, I would have. He has no business talking to you about these things."

"He just wanted to help. He told me about the inheritance issue."

Edward runs his hands through his hair. "It's true that there's some fucking rule in my grandfather's will that forbids me from seeking a divorce. He thought that preserving a marriage was too important to let it go. I'm hopping there's some way around it."

"So, what are you going to do?"

"Give it all up, I guess." He shrugs as if it's no big deal. "I know I seem like a coward for having this affair with you, but I needed to think about things before I went through with it."

"Edward, no. I couldn't ask you to do that."

"It's not just about you. Yes, you're a big part of my decision, but I need to do this for me and my family as well. My marriage isn't healthy for anyone involved. You know that better than anyone. Irina and I need to go our separate ways. It's time."

I nod, but don't say anything. He seems pretty sure. Would he feel the same way five years from now? Ten? Fifteen? This is more complicated than I originally thought.

"I need to get things settled at home. I have to tell Irina, and then the boys."

"I understand."

"She's in Costa Rica right now. She won't be back until tomorrow."

"How do you think she'll take it?"

"I'm sure she'll be pissed, but I'm sure she suspects it."

"Will you tell her about us?"

"Eventually, maybe not right away, though." He rests an arm over the back of the bench.

"Then what? After you go through with all of this?"

"You mean with us?"

I nod.

"After all this shit I'm about to wade through, I will accept anything you're willing to give me. I want a relationship with you, Bella. A real one. Just give me time to get my family sorted out."

"Of course, Edward."

"Is... is that something you would be interested in pursuing?" He hides his face from me, but I see a tint of red on his cheeks.

"What, a relationship with an old dentist?" I nudge his shoulder.

"I'm not that old."

"No. You're perfect." I kiss his lips softly. "And yes. I want a relationship with you, too. There's no doubt about that."

Ten minutes later, I end up in his car. We're driving back to his house, for what, I'm not sure. But I can only imagine what we will occupy ourselves with when we get there.

We pull into his driveway and I get out of the car.

"I have to go pick up the kids soon," he says and unlocks the door.

"How do you always have time to pick them up with you working so much?"

"I usually don't work past three so I can spend the afternoons with them."

"That's admirable of you." I wait in his large foyer for him to direct me.

Edward grabs my hips and pulls me close. "I'm glad you think so." He kisses my lips softly and then moves to other parts of my face.

"You're perfect."

"Far from it, Isabella." His lips descend on mine once more before he takes my hand and leads me into the kitchen.

"Something smells good in here." I sniff the air.

"I'm making a crockpot dinner. Chicken and rice." Edward lifts the lid of a pot and stirs its contents.

"Wow. You really can do everything."

"Who else is going to do it?" he asks.

"Can I help?" I set my bag down on the counter.

"Sure. Gotta get these boys to eat vegetables. There's a bunch of stuff in the fridge." He points behind him.

I dig through and find some different things to make. I stand next to Edward and start peeling carrots.

We're silent for a few minutes. Him stirring, me peeling.

"This is nice," I admit out loud.

"It could always be like this," Edward says somewhat bashfully, "...If you want."

I nod without replying. I want to tell him that _I_ _want _this so badly. I want us to be boring and simple.

Edward suddenly places the spoon on the counter, rather roughly and starts muttering to himself. I can't really hear, but I'm assuming he doesn't want me to. It sounds like he's having a mini panic attack.

"Edward, is everything okay?" I went over him, pushing myself between his body and the counter. I reach up and run my hand along his jaw.

"Everything's fine."

"No, it's not. Tell me."

"You... you're so young... and..." he begins. "You just have so many years in front of you."

"Hopefully, with you." I smile.

"But you can't possibly want to be stuck with an old man and his four kids. Four_, _Bella. Do you understand that?"

"Of course I do, Edward. Why are you freaking out about this?"

"What if this isn't what you want?" He sighs, looking at me.

"How about you let me worry about what I want."

"Are you sure?" He cups my face.

"Yes, Edward. Please don't doubt me on this. I know I'm young, but I couldn't want anything more than this. You have to believe me."

"I do." His lips are soft and sweet on mine.

His tongue glides into my mouth and he lifts me onto the counter. The cool marble hits my legs and I shudder, whether from the chill or the good sensations, I'm not sure.

I feel his hand creep up under my skirt, and then my underwear. He is teasing me, and I hate him for it. His soft touches are about to drive me insane.

Just a little higher… I'm in need of a release so badly. Please.

He runs his index finger in between my wet folds, and then slowly brings it up to his mouth. "Bella… you are dripping wet, can I taste you?"

"Yes, please," I squeak out.

Edward puts his finger in his mouth and begins sucking on it, moaning while licking me off his finger.

"Baby, you taste divine," he whispers.

He moves me to the edge of the counter, and then starts to kneel on his knees. He's the perfect height and rest in between my legs. He slides my panties away, throwing them onto the island in the middle of the kitchen.

"This can't be sanitary," I say softly, looking at the crockpot to my left. It's bubbling away and needs to be stirred, but we're otherwise... occupied.

Edward dives in, and his lips and tongue make quick work. I feel the soft brittles of his unshaven face on my sensitive spots. There's a mixture of pleasure and pain that is incredible.

He slides two fingers into my waiting entrance slowly. I gasp and let the vibrations course through my body. My orgasm hits me like a truck, and I accidentally hit my head on the cabinet.

Edward has a smug look on his face and he starts to stand back up. He begins licking his fingers clean.

"Now it's your turn." I hop off of the counter as gracefully as possible and push Edward against the island.

"Thank God."

"Don't move," I tell him and begin to kneel in front of him, ripping his belt from his pants.

"Yes ma'am."

I run my hands up his thighs and begin undoing his zipper. I pull his boxers and pants down tantalizingly slow as he moans. He's proud and rock hard in front of me. I just stare of a couple of seconds, but that doesn't last long.

Edward grabs the back of my head, pushing me forward.

I take the base of his cock and squeeze it lightly before stroking up. I do that a few times, making sure he likes my motions.

From the sounds he's making, I gather that he does.

I take him into my mouth. He hits the back of my throat immediately, and I gag. He pulls outs, and then pushes back in.

"Bella, open wider," he instructs.

I happily oblige and slip him past my lips again. I suck this time and let my teeth graze his skin.

"Fuck!" His hands tangle in my hair.

I open my eyes and look up at him. A sheen of sweat appears on his face, and his teeth bite into his lip. I lick the length of him several times until I see him start to shudder.

Seconds later, he shoots hot liquid down my throat. Cum is obviously not the best tasting thing in the world, but I let him fill my mouth and swallow.

"That was so good." He runs his hands through my hair.

As I'm sucking him dry, I hear a noise in the room that sounds like heels on tile. I pay little attention to it and continue to run my tongue along Edward's cock.

It's only until I see a flash of blonde hair in my peripheral that I start to think something is off.

From my place on the floor, I have the perfect line of vision to stare deep into Irina's bright blue eyes. Her mouth is open wide, her purse has fallen to the floor, and her hands are shaking.

I can only imagine the sight in front of her: Edward running his fingers through my hair as I hold his cock, my tongue wrapped around his tip.

I start to stand up and place Edward back into his pants.

He makes a move to kiss me, but I back away slightly. "Not now."

"Why?" he asks.

"We have company."

Irina's sobs alert him to her presence. He spins around. "Shit."

"Edward... how could you do this to me?"

"Irina, you're supposed to be in Puerto Rico. What are you doing here?"

"I live here! This is my house. I have every right to be here. What is she doing here?" Irina wipes away angry tears from her face.

"Let's go upstairs," Edward suggests, slowly crossing the kitchen. "We have some things to talk about."

"No, shit! You're cheating on me? With her?" She picks up the closest thing to here and hurls it in our direction. I duck quickly, but her aim is off so I didn't need to. The causality is a decorative plate. Shards fall to the floor and break into a hundred pieces.

"Irina, stop this. I know you're mad, but we need to talk."

"I don't want to talk!" She picks up something else, but Edward is there before she can chuck it. "I want that slut out of my house. Now!"

He grabs her arm, "This is about us. You and I are going to deal with things. Leave Bella out of this."

Irina slaps the shit out of him, and his head swivels to the side.

I'm trying to keep calm. I don't take lightly to her hitting him that way, but I don't want to send this into more absolute chaos.

Edward doesn't seem to feel any pain and shakes it off. He begins pulling her out of the kitchen, and I hear them on the stairs.

I lean against the counter and breathe.

It's here. This is it. Shit has officially hit the fan.

There is a lot of shouting upstairs. From both Edward and Irina. A lot of accusations and swearing. More crashing of valuable objects. Slamming doors. Stomping feet.

I want to go upstairs and protect Edward. I want to tell her how horrible she was to him and her children. I want to scream in her face for not recognizing how good she had it. For letting Edward slip through her fingers and treating him like shit.

But I stay in the kitchen. I force myself to let Edward handle this by himself.

"You're divorcing me," Irina shouts from upstairs. "You're divorcing me?"

I begin picking up the broken shards of the plate Irina threw at my head.

I'm at the trashcan and freeze when I hear heels on the stairs.

Irina stumbles into the kitchen and glares at me. "I thought you were my friend."

"I never gave you any indication of that being true," I tell her. I won't back down.

"I trusted you. I confided in you. How could you do this to me?"

I did feel bad. I want to apologize, but now was not the right time for that. Any words out of my mouth would be thrown back in hate.

"I hope you feel good about yourself." She picks up the contents of her purse off of the floor. "You broke up a family. I don't think I will ever forgive you."

Irina runs out of the kitchen and the front door slams a second later.

"Well, I guess that's that." Edward leans against the entrance to the kitchen.

"Oh my, God. She scratched you." I run over to him, running my finger along the three red marks on his cheek.

"Bella, I'm fine. This is, I'm sure, the least of my injuries that's to come." He takes my hand and kisses my wrist.

"The storm is coming, I guess."

"Yeah, but at least there's one good thing to come of this." He wraps his arms around me, pulling us close together.

"And what's that?"

"My marriage is officially on the path to being over."

* * *

**A/N: **Shit, meet fan.

So it's out in the open. What are we going to do?

As always, much love for Jenny for the beta work. Amazing!


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

* * *

Edward first told George about the divorce.

Edward called me right after and said that it went well, but he didn't know how everyone else was going to take it. George expected it, and was old enough to understand it.

A week later, Edward told his parents. Once again, I wait with baited breath by the phone to hear news. He didn't mention that we were having an affair to Esme or Carlisle, but I'm sure they assumed.

Another week passed before Theodore, Sebastian, and Jonathan Francis learned about their parents' divorce. Edward said that JF is too young to understand what it all means. To the boys, Edward explains that their family is going to change, but he still loves them. He never once mentions me or our relationship. It is too soon for that.

I sit in my house, on the couch, with a stammering heart. I haven't seen Edward since Irina caught me giving him a blowjob in their kitchen. He wants to meet, but I suggest that he focus on his sons first. He calls every opportunity he gets, but his main focus is them, which I fully support.

"What about Theo and Seb? Are they okay?"

He sighs, "_Better than I expected. I don't think they really care, honestly. They just know that Irina won't be around much, which isn't a change." _

"She won't fight you for them?"

"_Irina hasn't brought anything up yet. Last I heard, she was at her mother's house in Nantucket. She won't answer my calls." _

"She's probably upset," I say quietly.

"_Bella, don't blame yourself. I know you are." _

"No, I'm not," I lie.

"_I have told you a hundred times, this divorce was coming with or without you. It was time for Irina and me to separate." _

"But the way she found out... about us. She didn't deserve that. It must have been a shock."

"_Of course it was and I do feel bad about that, but I can only try to apologize so many times before I go crazy. I would have loved to sit down and have a calm conversation about everything, but that's not how it happened,"_ he says, so confident and sure of the situation.

"You're incredibly calm about all of this."

He chuckles on the other side of the phone. "_It's maturity. This just feels right, so I'm not wavering on my decisions." _

I'm quiet for a couple of seconds, not knowing what to say.

"_I miss you, Bella. It's been a month." _

"I miss you, too. I'm trying to give you time but..."

"_It's hard. I know." _He exhales through his nose. "_George has a baseball game in Newport this weekend. You could come... if you want_."

"Do you think that would be wise with everything going on right now?"

"_No, you're right." _

We hang up a couple minutes later. We say our "I love you's" and it makes my heart warm each time I hear it. I'd never been in love and didn't think Edward would be the man it would happen with, but I can't complain.

I fall asleep with the phone in my hand and it rings the next morning at eight.

"Hello?" I'm barely awake and don't look at the number.

"_Bella, are you there?"_ A chipper voice asks. _"I've wanted to call since I woke up, but George said I had to wait until an appropriate hour. Whatever that means."_

"Jonathan Francis, is that you?" I sit up slightly.

"_Of course it is," _he laughs. "_When are you coming to see me? I miss you, Bella." _

"Oh, I miss you, too. How are you?" What I really want to ask is, _how are you doing with your parents' divorce, _but that's too inappropriate.

"_I'm okay." _

"Does your father know you're calling?"

"_No, but George told me it was okay._" He sounds too excited for me to end our conversation.

We talk for a few more minutes, and I'm able to gather bits of information without actually asking probing questions. For instance, Theo is mad, at whom, he doesn't know. JF says that Theo just stomps around the house all the time and won't talk to anyone. I assume it's because he's upset with his father's divorce. I'll have to ask Edward about it.

George forces Jonathan Francis off of the phone because they have tennis practice, but he promises to call me back as soon as he's done.

I can't keep the smile off of my face as I place my phone back on the nightstand and try to get some more sleep. I end up dozing off and on for about another hour. But it seems that I'm fairly popular today because I'm woken up by another phone call.

"Hello?"

"_Isabella, hi. This is Esme Cullen." _

I shoot up in bed and feel the need to cover myself up with covers. "Oh, hi."

"_I was wondering if I could meet you for lunch. I'm going to be in the city all day, so I thought this would give us a good opportunity to talk." _She doesn't sound upset or angry, but I can't tell by her tone I'm headed into the lion's den.

Of course, I can't turn her down.

"Sure. Lunch would be nice," I say.

"_Good. Is one good for you?" _

"Yes, that will be fine."

"_Okay, meet me at the Omni Parker Hotel. I look forward to it." _

"Me too." I try to make myself sound confident, but I'm not sure it's working.

We end our call, and I can feel my heart thumping in my chest. Did she want to kill me? Probably. I split up her son's family.

I take a shower and make myself a light breakfast. I probably should go to the gym, but can't find the energy. I spend the morning researching for my seemingly endless task of finding Charlie's replacement. This search will never end.

I get more nervous as the lunch hour approaches.

I chose the most modest and classy outfit I can find in my closet. A classic black dress that falls to my knees and black pumps. I place my hair in a messy bun at the base of my neck and away from my face.

I stand in front of the mirror and debate on jewelry.

"Pearls or no pearls?" I ask myself. The Omni Parker Hotel is a place of ancient history and known for outstanding sophistication. And I was going to be dining with Esme Cullen, which I knew came at a high price.

I needed to show her I wasn't some skank off the street.

I decide on forgoing pearls for the moment. I didn't want to appear too dressy. Maybe if this was dinner, I could get away with it. I do choose to leave on the bracelet and necklace Edward gave me. Both items are so special, and I've gotten into a nasty habit of twirling the chain of the necklace between my fingers when I'm nervous. Today, I'm sure it will get a workout.

I take a taxi and arrive at the hotel fifteen minutes early. There are two restaurants, and even though Esme didn't tell me where we would be having lunch, I choose the one that specializes in fine dining. I just have a hunch.

My suspicions are confirmed when the hostess smiles and leads me through the gorgeous dining room.

All of the circular tables are full with happy patrons. Red velvet drapes over the windows, letting in only a sliver of light. Gold molding climbs up the walls before it splays across the ceiling in the most beautiful designs. The carpet is soft beneath my heels, and there's an air of superiority in the room that makes me feel slightly uneasy.

Esme is sitting at a table in the corner and smiles when she sees me.

"Hi, Bella. So glad you could make it." She hugs me. It's not awkward and I'm surprised that she hasn't ripped my hair out yet.

"Thank you for inviting me. I tried to get here early, but you beat me to it."

"I was already in the city and had nothing better to do. Just having some tea and reading." She sits back down, and I sit across from her.

I'm glad I dressed up because Esme looks fantastic in a purple dress and white cardigan. She's grinning and happy, but I think that's just how she is. Even if Esme did absolutely hate me, she would never show it.

I notice, on her neck, are a string of pearls. I curse myself for not having mine.

Esme, always the queen of etiquette, orders us mimosas. She says that it's too early in the day for wine. She has this way of not talking down to anyone, which I vastly appreciate.

Even though I'm young, I'm not a child, and many women don't seem to care. My mother, for instance, treats me as if she needs to pound manners down my throat in a condescending way. Esme would never act in such a way.

"I just love this place. I first met Carlisle here," she says, taking off her black rimmed glasses.

"Really?"

"Yes. The Omni Parker is a special place for us. He used to work as a bus boy in the kitchens while he was in college and I would come here with my girlfriends for brunch every Sunday. He would always hang around our table and after a year, he finally asked me out. He was so nervous and cute." She smiled at the memory.

"I've never been here, but I've only heard good things."

"Oh, yes. This hotel has so much history." She turns around a little. "That table back there was reserved for John and Jackie Kennedy when they dined here. And did you know that the first Boston Crème Pie was invented in this very restaurant?"

"No, I didn't know that. Fascinating." I take a nervous sip from my glass of water. I feel like this is the calm before the storm. I'm just trying to keep my mouth from drying out.

"So, as you probably know, Edward and Irina are getting a divorce." She stares at me, waiting for a reaction.

"I've heard." I wipe my mouth and keep my hands in my lap.

Esme nods and daintily sips from her flute of mimosa. "It's to be expected, I guess. They've been... estranged, for lack of a better word, for quite some time. Maybe now, they can both move on."

"Oh," I say involuntarily. That is not what I was expecting.

"I suspect that by now, you know I haven't called you here for a simple lunch." She smirks, much like her son.

"No, I didn't think so."

Esme taps her perfectly manicured nails on the white tablecloth. "Bella, I've known for a while that you and my son have been having an affair, but it's none of my business. I learned a long time to let Edward make his own choices and decisions. I'm not saying that what you did was right, because that's certainly not the case, but I want my son to be happy. You make him happy. Simple as that."

"I... I don't know what to say. I'm sorry."

"For God's sake. It's too late for apologies. What's done is done."

"Edward is the most upstanding gentleman I've ever met and I don't want you thinking any less of your son because of what we did." I stop myself from rambling.

"Bella, believe me, I've already yelled at that boy for what he's done, but it won't make any difference. He loves you. Yes, you both were selfish and acted completely inappropriately, but I won't judge you." Her hand curls around mine on the table top.

"Thank you."

"Now, what I do care about are my grandchildren. They are another matter completely." She sits up straight. I copy her movements. "Those boys are obsessed with you. Every time I see them, they go off at the mouth at how amazing you are. Honestly, I can't blame them. You've seemed to capture us all in one way or other."

I haven't blushed in years, but feel the slight heat crawl into my face.

Esme continues, "I need to know right now, Bella. Are you ready to be a mother to those four boys? They've already had an absentee parent and I won't let them go through that again."

Without taking a pause or breath, I grab her hand. "Esme, I promise you that I love those boys. Maybe even more than I love their father; I'm not sure. But I just want them to be happy and if they want me, then I'm not going anywhere. I couldn't think of my life without any of them."

Esme studies me for a minute and then smiles. "Okay, then. I guess I can't stand in your way."

After I come to my senses and realize that Esme isn't going to kill me, we have the most enjoyable lunch I've ever experienced. She treats me like family and never makes me feel like the other woman. I know anyone else would have treated me as if I was Hester Prynne, but Esme acts as if we're old friends.

I leave the Omni Parker Hotel with a full belly and high spirits. I call Edward from the back of the cab on the way home and excitedly tell him about lunch. He lets out a long breath when I'm done and says how happy he is that she's okay with everything. He explains that Esme was pissed at him the last time they talked, but assured me that his mother would never hold anything against me.

I decide to try the gym. I'm more energized in the afternoon.

I burn off my filling lunch with a furious run on the treadmill. Yoga is getting easier and easier. I think I've moved up a class or two since I started. My teacher seems to be impressed with my progress. I joke that I'll be as limber as her one of these days.

As I'm heading out of the gym, my phone rings.

"I've been on the phone with Cullens all day, Edward." I unconsciously smile.

"_I really miss you. Come to dinner." _

"No, you have too much to deal with right now. We don't need to get distracted."

"_It's dinner, Bella. You have to eat sometime._" He chuckles. "_Don't deny me." _

I sigh, "Okay. Where should I meet you?"

He gives me the name of a small Italian restaurant in the North End. I tell him that I have to go home and get presentable. Edward says he'll get us a table and wait.

I shower and make sure to scrub extra hard. It's been just under a month since I last saw him and I want to look more than pretty. I slide a pair of tight, dark jeans onto my legs and chose a cream colored sweater. It's the end of September and a chill hangs in the air outside, so my attire is appropriate.

I nearly skip to the subway station. I figure I want to avoid traffic and it's quicker anyway.

The North End is Boston's idea of Little Italy and it's a fantastic place. The smell of fresh pasta hangs in the air and cafes with small checkered, cloth covered tables sit outside. The streets are hard to walk on in my pumps, but I'm determined to conquer the cobblestones.

The restaurant is aptly and simply named _Italia. _

"Mr. Cullen is in the back room," a waitress says to me when I step in.

She takes me by surprise.

"He described you perfectly. Sorry for scaring you."

"That's okay."

We weave our way through the tables and arrive in the back. I hear the group before I see them. Edward has not only brought himself, but his four boys as well. I want to run up and hug all of them.

"Bella!" Jonathan Francis shoots up from his chair and nearly tackles me to the ground. "I can't believe you're here. It's been probably ten years since I last saw you."

"Probably just about that long." I bend down and take him into my arms.

Sebastian is next and he's welcoming, but not overly affectionate like his younger brother. Theodore smiles at me, but makes no move from his seat. He doesn't seem as angry as I was expecting. Maybe JF was exaggerating over the phone?

George actually lifts me off of the ground when we hug. I pat his shoulder, and he promises that we will talk later. He knows that I want info on how his father's doing. Info that I probably won't get from Edward.

Edward and I haven't disclosed our relationship officially to his children, so we settle for a light hug as well. It takes every ounce of power I have not to pull his face to mine for a kiss. It's hard for him, as well.

"You didn't tell me the entire family was going to be here," I whisper when he pulls out a chair for me.

"Because I knew you wouldn't come if I did."

He's probably right.

"I want to sit next to Bella." Jonathan Francis makes Theo move seats without a fuss.

"How's school?" I ask him.

"School is fun. We have this new kid from South America and he's really cool. Our teacher told us all about Brazil since that's where he's from. Have you been to Brazil, Bella?"

"I have, actually. My father took me one summer."

"Dad won't take me. He says I'm too young to appreciate it." JF rolls his eyes. It always amazes me at how articulate Edward's youngest son is. He certainly doesn't sound like a five year old.

Edward orders the table several pasta dishes that we can all just pass around. He tells me quietly that it's better that way. He has to feed George who can eat for days.

I spend some time with all the boys, just chatting and catching up on their lives. No one mentions the divorce or asks why a "friend" of their father's is having dinner with the family. It's a very nice meal and I don't feel awkward being around Edward or his family.

Something in the back of my brain is trying to tell me that my worries are premature and unnecessary, but the rational side of me says that I need to be careful. It can't be this easy.

I feel like... I belong with them.

* * *

**A/N: **Precious, right? She fits in perfectly. Family time.

As always, thanks to Jenny because she's amazing and everyone needs to acknowledge that, me included. And thanks to everyone who keeps reading and reviewing. I love getting your responses.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

* * *

Edward can't take it anymore. He calls, sounding stressed and tired, claiming that the boys are driving him stir crazy. Thankfully, his parents offer to take them for the weekend.

He says that as soon as they leave, he's driving into the city.

"I don't want to leave your bed all weekend," he says. "I can't wait to spend some time with you."

It's been a while since we've had any alone time, but it's understandable. His family is going through a massive change. I just want to make sure that Edward and the boys are being taken care of. But I have to admit that I do miss him.

Maybe this weekend, we'll get our fill of each other.

I spend the entire day, cleaning the house unnecessarily. I'm surprised that I haven't made more of a mess since living here. It's pretty tidy already, so I end up playing with Sam for the better part of an hour while I wait for Edward.

The sun is setting when a knock sounds and I shoot off of the floor.

Edward is leaning against the door jamb, arms crossed, sunglasses on, sexy as fuck.

"Why hello, Ms. Swan." He sets his bag down inside.

"Hi, Mr. Cullen. I've been waiting for you."

He lifts me off of the ground and brings my face to his. Our lips meet in the softest way possible, and I don't ever plan on letting him go now that he's here.

"Bella, I don't mean to interrupt this wonderful kiss, but something is clawing at my ankle," he mumbles against my lips.

"Oh, sorry." I hop down from his arms. "This is my new cat. You're not allergic, are you?"

I lift Sam into my arms and hold him close to my chest.

"No, not at all." Edward smiles, petting him behind the ears. "Why didn't you tell me you got a cat?"

"In the scope of everything you're going through right now, a new pet is the least of your worries."

Edward exhales heavily, "You're very right."

I pick up his bag and bring it into the family room. I basically push Edward onto the sofa and tell him not to move a muscle. At first, his face lights up because he thinks we're about to have sex, but then it falls slightly when I bring him a glass of wine.

"You need to relax. Sex will just overwork your already tired body." I kiss away his pout and cuddle up to him.

"This feels nice." He leans his head against the back of the sofa. "Jonathan Francis jumped off of the roof today because Seb told him it was okay."

"Oh, my God. Is everything okay?" I sit up.

"He's fine. He landed in the flower bed and thankfully, it was the low part of the roof. Would you be surprised if I told you this wasn't the first time one of my sons has done something like that?" He chuckles.

"I bet that house is crazy." I scoot back up against his body, rubbing my hand only his chest.

"Are you ready for it?"

"Ready for what?"

"Ready for us. _All _of us. Me, four boys, a crazy house, and apparently, a new kitten."

"Is that...what you want?" I play with the buttons on his shirt.

"Of course. I told you that. I want it all with you, Isabella Swan." He kisses my lips lightly. He tastes of wine and it's enticing.

Edward ad I haven't really discussed much about our relationship, but I know I want it all with him too. Marriage. A home. Possibly kids.

Definitely kids.

"Bella, we might have to throw the cat out." He laughs as Sam jumps onto his chest. His claws dig into the fabric of Edward's shirt.

"I'm sorry. He's excited about seeing a new face." I pick Sam up and place him on the floor again.

"So, what do you have planned for me tonight?" Edward set his wine glass on the coffee table and pulls me on top of him, laying us on the sofa.

"Dinner, a movie, possibly a joint." I kiss his chest and then neck. "Sex. Lots of sex."

"I like that plan a lot." He groans, trailing his hands along my hips.

It seems like we can't have a second alone because my phone rings in the back pocket of my jean shorts.

"Son of a fucking bitch!" Edward roars and slams his head into the pillow cushions.

"It's my mother." I reject her call, but at the same time, see that I have a text message from Mandy that I missed ten minutes earlier.

_We're coming into the city tonight. Come out with us!-M _

I quickly text her back that I won't be joining them.

"Who is that?" Edward asks, placing his hands behind his head.

"A friend from work. She wants me to go to a club with her later." I shrug.

"Oh, well you should go."

"No, Edward. This night is about us."

"Bella, I don't want you to put your life on hold because of me. If you want to go out, then go. I will be more than happy to stay her and sleep." His words are sweet, but his face says that he wants to spend time together.

"I'm not going out." I come to a conclusion. "There will be plenty of time for that later."

Edward nods. "Okay, fine."

I crawl up his body and begin kissing him again. "Why are you being so short with me?"

"Because I know you're lying. You want to go with your friends. I can tell."

"Okay, so maybe I do, but I want to be with you more." I sit up straddling his hips.

"I'm just saying... stop slowing down because you're with me. You're young. You want to go out, go out. You've been hanging with me so long; you probably don't know how to have fun anymore."

"You just like to complain, is that it?" I lean over and shut him up with my lips. "Okay, how about this. You come out with me."

Edward laughs heartily. "Bella, I haven't been to a club since like, 1997."

"Wow," I said in shock. "That's a long time ago."

"Tell me about it,"

"I didn't mean it like that. I just never realized it's been _that _long. It's about time you get out there and live."

"I am living."

"Okay, new plan. I'm inviting Mandy over and we're _all_ going out." I jump off of the sofa and bring him with me.

"Bella, no." He groans.

"You brought this on yourself. You want me to go out and have fun, so that's what I'm going to do."

"Then leave me at home."

"No chance in hell."

I send Edward into the guest bedroom to get ready. He's left a suit here before, and I tell him he can wear that. He'll probably be overdressed, but it's fine. He offers to save water and shower together, but if that happens, I probably won't leave the house.

In my fluffy white towel, I peruse my closet.

"Edward thinks I don't know how to have fun. I'll show him." I thumb through my dresses and chose the shortest, tightest thing I can find. It's leather with lace cutouts around my back. The sleeves go to my wrists so I don't feel so exposed. My shoes are high and blood red. I hope this will get Edward's heart rate going.

"Not bad," I tell myself, looking in the mirror.

I spend ample time curling the ends of my hair before putting it in a ponytail.

By the time I'm down the stairs, Edward is seated on the couch, casual in his gray slacks and matching jacket. A light blue shirt completes his look and he's even sexier than before.

I just watch him for a couple of seconds. He's drinking from the previously abandoned wine glass. He looks nervous for some reason.

"Don't drink too much of that .The night is young." I walk over to the cabinet I have stocked with liquor.

"Wow. You look hot." He clears his throat.

"Thank you, Dr. Cullen. You don't look too bad, either."

I start pulling out rum and vodka and tequila.

"What are you doing?" Edward asks, his hands on my hips, his lips on my shoulder.

"Getting ready to pre-game."

"Pre-game?" he asks.

"Yeah, the pre-drinking so we don't have to spend hundreds of dollars at the club."

"Oh. That makes sense."

I turn around and look up at him. "You're nervous. Why?"

"Bella, as I said, I haven't been to a club since 1997 and... your friends; do they know about us?"

"No. They don't even think I'm seeing anyone. I promise you'll fit in," I tease him, kissing his cheek. "They'll love you."

"How many of your friends are coming?"

"Well, I don't know them all that well. I just work with one of them, but I think about eight."

"Eight girls?" His voice rises.

"Yeah, is there a problem?"

"How am I supposed to handle all of you?" He pulls out his phone. "I think I need backup."

"Handel? Backup?"

"Well, I feel slightly responsible for all of your wellbeing. Plus, I don't think I can deal with all this estrogen by myself."

He makes a call in the other room while I'm pulling out shot glasses. It take a small swing of tequila and shudder as it slithers down my throat.

At nine-thirty, Mandy rings the doorbell. She arrives with all of her friends, some of whom I've met before, but others are strangers. I invite them all in and they seem amazed that I can afford such a nice place.

"This is... amazing, Bella." Mandy twirls around in my foyer. "You're so lucky."

"I guess you could say that." I smile. "Come on. Let me introduce you to Edward."

"Edward?" she asks.

"Yeah. Edward."

He's standing awkwardly in the corner of the family room, but raises his head when we come in. I introduce him as my boyfriend, and he doesn't bat an eyelash at the term, which I'm happy about.

All the girls can obviously see that he's older and the first question is how old he is. Edward blushes and tells them. They are so fascinated by him, as if he's a shiny toy. I don't tell them he's married, on his way to divorced, or has kids, and I doubt they care.

"He's so handsome," one of the girls giggles to me. "Where did he come from?"

"He's my dentist," I reply.

"I might need to get my teeth cleaned more often," Mandy says.

We take a round of shots, Edward included, and the doorbell rings again ten minutes later.

Edward tells me he'll get it and returns to the family room with three _very _good looking men. Younger than him, but attractive all the same.

The girls flock to them like flies to honey, and the guys eat the attention up like their starving.

"Who are they?" I ask Edward who's leaning against the kitchen counter, more at ease now that he's not stuck with ten women.

"I was their petty officer when I was in the Navy. They're all about five or six years younger than me, but we kept in touch. They live in the city, so I thought they could help me out."

"Very smart and practical of you to invite them."

"About two girls for each guy. What could be better?" He takes a sip of his beer.

"You do realize that you're about to entire a world that you know nothing about."

"1997, Bella. I'm fully aware. How old were you in 1997?"

"Eight." I laugh at his reaction.

"God, help me. I'm so not prepared for you." Edward leans forward and kisses me.

The men he invited all come over to me and introduce themselves. They're all very gentlemanly and kind, telling me how nice my house is and how happy they are to be invited. Peter, Alistair, and Garrett are their names, and they're out of the Navy now, but look up to Edward as if he's their older brother. I can just tell how much they admire him from how they talk and hang on his every word.

"More shots!" Mandy yells.

Three more rounds of shots, a game of flip cup and beer pong later, we're ready to go out. Before we leave, one of the girls pulls out a baggie of white pills. She passes it around the group and everyone takes one.

"What is it?" Edward whispers to me.

"I'm not sure." I hold it in my palm.

He looks apprehensive. "Do you think it will kill us?"

"No, probably not."

He still doesn't look convinced.

"I won't take it if you don't," I tell him. "Don't feel pressured. We can just throw them away."

Edward stares at the white pill for about five seconds before he pops it into his mouth and swallows. I grin and do the same.

It's ten-thirty now, and I already feel a little wobbly. Edward holds onto me as we stuff into cabs, on our way.

Fifteen minutes later, I stumble out of the car in my heels on Boylston Street and Edward graciously pays for all the taxis. I keep telling him that he's not responsible for us, but he bashfully says that he's more than happy to do it.

The club is called Gypsy, and the line is outrageously long. One of the girls, I think her name is Beth, takes matters into her own hands, literally. She pulls one of the bouncers by the hand, down the alleyway and returns five minutes later, wiping her lips.

She proudly tells us that we can cut in line and don't have to pay a cover charge.

"Did she just give him a blowjob?" Edward asks me in awe. I get carded at the door, but he doesn't.

"I think so. I'm afraid to ask." I stop myself from laughing. "For the record, I don't know her. We're not friends. Don't think any less of me."

"I have a feeling that this night is going to be quite interesting." Edward takes my hand and leads up the stairs where the music is thumping.

It's absolutely packed. Edward fights his way with our group to a corner.

"What do you want to drink?" he asks me.

"What are you having?" I yell up at him.

"A beer, I guess."

I shake my head. "Get us two gin and tonics."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." I pull his body closer by his lapel jackets so he can hear me. "Just keep it simple."

Edward nods, and then stalks off to the bar.

The music is _so _loud, the floor is actually vibrating from all the movement. Edward returns to me with our drinks and just stands there for a couple of seconds.

"Do you want to dance?"

"Uh, no," he says.

"Why not?"

"I'm not... a dancer."

"That's not an excuse."

I take his hand a push my way through, to the middle of the enormous dance floor. Bodies are thrashing up against each other and I make sure to keep a tight hold on him.

I start to move my body, but he does nothing.

"Come on. At least shuffle your feet," I beg him.

He doesn't seem to take my suggestion to heart and just sways from side to side, sipping from his straw. He raises his hands in the most peculiar way and bobs his head.

"Oh, God. No." I roll my eyes and place my hands on his hips, shaking him with the beat of the music. "It's like sex, but choppier. I know you know how to do that."

He smiles and follows my movement, before he finds a rhythm of his own. I turn around, back to front, and he likes that more. He can follow me, and we lose ourselves in each other.

"This is great." Edward chuckles. His drink is finished and the effects of the pill are clearly coursing through his body. I have more tolerance and fight it, but I like the buzz.

We stay on the dance floor for at least half an hour.

We're sweating and he's getting good at leading my hips how he wants them. He can keep up with even the young guys and doesn't seem to be slowing down at all. His inhibitions to the wind, Edward is enjoying himself a lot more than if we stayed on the couch watch movies. Although, I'm sure we would have liked that as well.

"Bella, it's snowing." Edward points to the ceiling where white foam and fog was floating downwards.

"I know. Isn't it great?" I brush the flakes from his hair.

"This is a lot of fun! And you're sexy as fuck."

"I'm glad you're enjoying yourself."

He takes my face in his hands unexpectedly and kisses my lips hard. His tongue dives in and we're making out like high schoolers within seconds. It's sloppy and wet, but I don't mind. He tastes incredibly delicious. I close my eyes, but the lights from the club still flash.

When I can't breathe, I pull away. "Slow down, tiger."

"Promise me we'll fuck when we get home. I'm so horny."

"I promise. If you can stay awake that long," I whisper into his ear.

"Is that a challenge?"

"Most definitely." I boldly lick the shell of his ear. He shudders violently.

"You're so fucking good with your tongue."

"Practice," I say. "I'm going to get something to drink. Want anything?"

"Whatever you're having."

I leave him on the dance floor and push my way through the mob towards the bar. I only wait in line for a couple of seconds before a big busted chick in a bustier comes over with a smile.

"What can I get for you?" she asks.

"Two whisky sours, please."

"Okay." She sets off to make my drinks.

As I'm standing at the bar, even though it's loud, I hear a clear voice that I recognize.

"Can I have a Jack and Coke?" he asks, his voice deep.

"Sure thing," one of the bartenders replies.

I squint my eyes to get a better look, but the voice is hidden by a huge guy, blocking my view. I scoot over and see George Cullen standing at the bar as if he belongs there.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" I screech.

He turns his head and his face goes pale. "Bel... Bella? Is that you?"

"Yes, it's me. What are you doing here?"

"Shit. Fuck. Fucking shit!" He pulls at his hair. He's dressed in jeans and a dark green button up shirt. "This isn't what it looks like."

"How the did you get in?" His breath smells of liquor and I detect weed, but I'm not sure if that's him or just the surroundings. I hope it's the latter.

"Fake ID." He rubs the back of his neck. His face is covered in scruff, and I have to admit that he looks older, possibly my age, which isn't illegal, but I know better.

"You have to go. Take your friends and leave." I pull him away from the bar to a more secluded corner.

"Out of the hundreds of bars in Boston, you had to show up here?" He almost stomps his foot.

"Yeah, well I'm _allowed _to be here." I am trying to be diplomatic about this and not yell in his face. "I thought you were at your grandparents'."

"I told them I was staying with a friend." He shrugs.

"Give me your ID and go home. I mean it, George."

"Please don't tell my dad." He fishes around in his pocket for his wallet and hands me his perfectly crafted fake.

Being a private school kid myself, I know how easy it is to obtain alcohol and drugs. Hell, I was getting drunk at thirteen. But I recall Edward saying that George wasn't like that. I guess he doesn't know his son as well as he thinks.

"Well, then leave before he sees you." I point towards the dance floor where Edward is flailing his arms around like a madman.

"Holy shit. This is so bad."

"And it'll get worse if you don't leave."

"You got him to dance." George's eyes go wide. "Or... whatever the hell he's doing."

I can't stop myself from laughing. "Don't make me call him over here."

"Okay, Bella. I'm sorry. I promise this won't happen again." He backs away. "I'll take the train back to Newport."

I watch him grab a couple of his friends, and then descend the stairs to the ground floor.

Well, this is fucking awkward. Not only am I placed between a rock and a hard place, but it dawns on me that, at twenty-two, I'm dating a man whose son can potently pass for twenty-one.

I know that I have to tell Edward about this, but not tonight. Not while he's high and drunk.

I make my way back over to him, our drinks forgotten, but he doesn't seem to care. He just grabs me and snuggles our bodies together. We stay that way for the rest of our time on the dance floor.

* * *

**A/N: **Bad George. He should be ashamed of himself. Yeah right. A little together time for Bella/Edward, yes? Fun times, as uaul.

Everyone's waiting for "the other shoe to drop", but I don't know if I want to go down that road. It's just too...obvious. We will see what I come up with.

Thanks to Jenny for Beta'ing. She's the best. And thanks to everyone for reading. Send me a review if you want! We're almost done. Maybe four or five more chapters.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

* * *

At first, I think I'm waking up next to a lawnmower. After last night, that thought might not be so farfetched.

_How much did I drink?_

My bed vibrates as the man next to me takes another _huge_ snore.

I roll over and slam into Edward's hairy chest.

"We made it." I sigh, thankful that neither one of us died last night.

"Edward, please wake up." I shake him.

He groans and rolls away from me. He mumbles something I can't hear.

"You're so loud." I untangle myself from the sheets and start to climb over his body. My vision shifts as I try to gracefully get up.

"Bella, I don't think I'm going to survive." His voice is raspy. "Stop the pain."

"You're being dramatic. Everything will feel better after we get up and start moving."

"I'm never moving again."

I start shaking him. "The hangover will only get worse if you allow it to capture you."

"This isn't a hangover; this is death." His large hands grab my hips. "Stop moving."

"I told you last night to take it slow. I warned you."

"You had just as much as I did," he complains.

"Edward, you probably don't want me to point this out, but there's a thirteen- year age difference between us. Plus, you don't usually drink that way. The most I've ever seen you drink is half a bottle of wine. We at least tripled that last night."

"Don't remind me."

"And we took some kind of pill that probably didn't help our current situation."

"We shouldn't have done that. We could have been killed. That was so irresponsible of us. Weed is one thing, but random pills?" He groans.

"I can bounce back. You can't."

I straddle his hips and look down at him. Edward really does look like shit. Purple shadows stretch under his eyes, and his skin is a pasty gray color.

"God, why did I ever agree to go out with you?" He opens his eyes, but then squints them closed.

"You had fun. Admit it." I lean down and kiss him softly.

"Tell me how to cure myself, young one." He chuckles. The action looks like it hurts.

"Shower, food, water, gym, more food, sleep, and then sex." I hop off of the bed. "It's a proven remedy."

"I can't," he sighs when I try to pull him up.

"Yes, you can." I tug harder and he nearly falls to the floor.

Getting into the shower is an Olympic challenge. We're already naked so I don't have to undress him, but Edward acts as if he's allergic to water. One second, it's too hot, and then next it's too cold. He complains the entire time that the body wash is overwhelmingly fragrant.

"This shampoo hurts my hair," Edward groans. He's kneeling in the shower, his hands clasping around my middle, as I scrub his scalp.

"Edward, you're testing my patience right now. It's not that bad." I roll my eyes. "You're fine. Don't think about it."

"This has to be worse than childbirth."

I don't comment on that statement.

"It must have been those damn white pills," he mentions. "What were they?"

"I don't know. I can find out. If you really want to know."

"God, that was so unsafe."

Even though I'm a little hungover, I can remember a lot from last night. Swaying. Dancing. Gyrating. Lots of drinking. George.

_George!_

"Shit," I whisper to myself.

I have to tell Edward that I saw his son at the club. I don't want to rat George out, but I can't keep something like that from him. Maybe later, though. First, he needs sobering up.

I dry Edward off and dig through his bag for clothes. I dress us both for the gym. When I'm done, he's back to snoring on the bed.

I go downstairs and let him sleep for half an hour while I make coffee. I start on a breakfast of eggs, bacon, and bagels. He's going to hate me for forcing this down his throat, but he needs food. Greasy food.

I stand at the bottom of the steps and call him down. I refuse to carry his ass down here.

Edward grumbles like a bear, but makes it one step at a time.

"See, that wasn't so bad." I take his hand.

"At least I haven't thrown up yet."

He spoke too soon because as soon as we walk into the kitchen and his eyes hit the spread I've made, he rushes to the sink. He vomits up the contents of his stomach and it sounds like he's dying.

"I'm never drinking again," Edward says as he takes a bottle of water from me, swishing out his mouth.

"We can only hope. I don't think I can deal with this again."

The workout is tough at first, but I tell Edward to take it slow. Just a light jog on the treadmill or even yoga. But as the minutes go on, he slowly begins to brighten.

"I told you. Activity and movement is good," I say, seated next to him on a mat stretching.

"Sleep would have been better," he argues.

After the gym, we sit in my car for a couple of minutes, catching our breath and drinking

water.

"You feel any better?" I ask him.

"Yes, actually. Thanks to your wonderful remedies." He smiles, but it's not the full one that I've become so accustomed to.

"Then what's wrong?"

"You're going to think I'm pathetic."

"No I won't. Tell me."

"I miss my kids." He chuckles sadly. "Pathetic, right?"

"No, not at all." I start the car. "You've had quite the weekend."

"I'm not used to this fast paced lifestyle you have."

"How about this? We cut our weekend short. You're no good to me all moping and sad." I grin. "Go home to your kids. I won't mind."

"You're so understanding, but my sons are at that age when they have no interest in

parents."

"I'm sure they would love to see you. Those boys can't get enough of you." I begin the

drive back home.

"Come with me," he says.

"Come with you where?"

"To Newport, to pick up the kids."

I can't tell him 'no', so an hour later, I'm sitting in the passenger's seat of his Jaguar, on

the highway out of Boston.

"Will Irina be okay with this? They are her children, after all. I would suspect that she would have something to say about me being around them." I ﬁdget with my ﬁngers nervously waiting for his answer.

"We want to keep the divorce out of the courts so we're going through a mediator. It's

working fairly well, but she hasn't said anything about you being around. I think she

hopes that we just had a physical affair and I'm kicking you to the curb." Edward gently

takes my hand, and threads our ﬁngers together.

"Have you two created a schedule for visitation?"

"She doesn't want them." He shrugs.

"What? How... that's not even an option. She doesn't want her kids?" I am nearly

stuttering in confusion.

"She's not willing to give up everything else her life."

"What could be more important?"

"Her job, her friends, her fancy lifestyle where she can jet set around the world." Edward

sighs. "Bella, you have to realize that Irina hates staying in one place for too long. Her

job provides her with a way to move around without having a permanent home."

"But she has children. How is she supposed to take care of them if she's always away?"

"That's a question for her lawyers."

"I just can't believe this. How can she do this?"

"Some women just aren't made to be mothers. Irina is one of those women."

"Then why did she have them."

"Because... I wanted them," he says, somewhat regrettably.

""Don't you dare feel bad for wanting kids." I sit up straight in my seat. "You love those

boys and you're the best father in the world."

He laughs quietly, "I think you're over-exaggerating just a little."

"No, I'm not."

"Truth is, George was a surprise, obviously. We were seventeen. We were too young,

but I would never change anything. After him, she didn't want any more. Each time, I

pressured her."

"That doesn't make you a bad father."

"No, just a bad husband. She didn't want kids, but she gave them to me. I thought they

would make us happy and we were... just separately. I was happy with my kids and she was happy with her job."

"Doesn't sound like much of a family."

"We weren't."

"I still don't understand how you could stay with her. Maybe I'm out of line, but you

should have divorced her years ago." I am getting angry, just like I always do when I

think about this.

"Why should I have? I didn't think there was anything else that I could do. I was able to

suffer alone if that means my children have access to their inheritance."

"So it's just about the money?"

"No, Bella. It's more than that. It's about my family. The aspects of my grandfather's

clause basically disowns me for getting a divorce."

"But how can he do that?"

"It's an old rule, Bella. And Esme's father was a shrewd man. He made sure that after

his death, his ideas would still be around."

"That's so unfair."

"I had no reason for a divorce before. Why risk it all for nothing in return?" He squeezes my hand. "Before you came along, I wouldn't even think about having an affair or leaving Irina. There was no point. I just figured I'd suffer through for the kids. My grandfather did it, so I could to. My parents got lucky. Obviously, we all aren't, though."

"Your life sounds absolutely horrible," I say, mostly to myself.

"It wasn't horrible, Bella. Just not how I expected it to turn out."

There's no more talk of that subject anymore. We stay quiet the rest of the way. It's not uncomfortable at all, but we didn't feel the need to fill lulls in conversation.

The giant white and stone mansions of Newport begin to dominate the skyline.

"Um, Edward, I need to tell you something before we're around everyone," I say.

"Okay. I'm listening."

"Last night, at the club, I saw someone who shouldn't have been there." I play with my hands in my lap.

"Who? Someone we know?"

"Yes." I breathe deeply. "George."

"George who? My son, George?" The car swerves a little.

"Yes, Edward, but I sent him home right away."

"Why didn't you tell me last night?"

"You were drunk and high. I doubt you would have reacted well."

"No, probably not." He agrees. "Was he drinking?"

"He was at the bar," I state without really answering his question. "He asked me not to tell you, but I thought you should probably know."

Edward is silent for a minute or two before he starts to laugh. It's soft and quiet and first, but then grows into a boisterous, belly guffaw.

"What's so funny?" I ask, confused.

"Nothing. Just how things have seemed to play out in the past couple of weeks."

"Oh."

"I wonder if he does this often? Probably. We've never really talked about drinking and stuff before, though." Edward taps his fingers on the steering wheel. "We've never had to."

"Maybe you should. Just to make sure he's being safe."

"I probably wasn't setting a good example last night with everything I was doing."

"No, probably not."

"I guess we'll have to have a talk." He grins. "Why don't you do it."

"What? No, you're his father."

"Go ahead and talk to him. He won't bite. And I feel like you would have more of an impact than me, especially if he saw me on the dance floor last night. He would probably just laugh in my face."

"I don't think I would feel comfortable enough to do that."

"Okay." He shrugs. "I'll handle it."

Now, I'm nervous.

"We're here," Edward announces and stops the car in his parent's driveway.

I fix my hair before getting out. Esme always makes me feel like I need to look my best, so I take every opportunity I can to prove that I can be just as sophisticated as her, despite my young age.

Edward opens the door and it's still early in the morning, so he tells me the boys are probably asleep. We walk in the direction towards wonderful smells of frying bacon and coffee.

"Edward, Bella." Carlisle looks up from his seat at the table, and puts his paper down. "So nice of you to join us."

"I thought I would pick the kids up early."

"You missed them." Carlisle takes off his glasses. "I know that look. Always a worrier."

"I can't help it."

I get a hug from Carlisle. "And how are you?"

"I'm fine, thank you."

"It's been a long time since I saw you last." He starts to lead me into the kitchen. "Probably since before the divorce."

"Yes, I guess so."

I didn't know how to act or what my place was with them. Should we be talking about Edward's divorce? I did somewhat cause it, after all. I think this was unprecedented: a mistress being so close to the family and the family, in turn, accepting her.

"Is that Bella?" Esme looks up from the stove and rushes towards me, pushing her husband and son out of the way.

"Sorry we just showed up unannounced. I hope it's okay."

"Of course it is. You're welcome any time." She smiles at me and places some tendrils of hair behind my ear. "I like what you've done with your hair today."

"Oh, thank you. I didn't have time to curl it."

"It looks very nice."

It makes my day. I don't care what else happens; Esme's compliments and kindness are enough for me.

Edward and I sit at the tall, marble island in the middle of the kitchen while Carlisle helps Esme cook the heaps of food on the stove. They won't let us help.

"Daddy, is that you?" a small voice asks.

Jonathan Francis rounds the corner into the kitchen, dressed in the most adorable pair of footy pajamas. They are blue with red racing cars, and his hair is an absolute mess.

"Bella!" JF runs towards me and nearly knocks me off of the stool. "You're here."

"I've missed you." I pick him up and hug him tightly.

"I missed you, too," I say truthfully. I want to creepily smell him, but I don't. I love this child so much, and I think Edward knows because he's looking at me funny.

"Hi, buddy." Edward pulls JF onto his lap. "Did you have fun with your grandparents?"

"No, they wouldn't let me go swimming." He leans on Edward's shoulder.

"It's kind of cold out there for a swim."

"I could have worn my wetsuit. That keeps me warm."

"Better to be safe, I always say," Carlisle interjects.

JF grumbles something under his breath.

"What was that, young man?" Edward asks sternly.

"Nothing. I'm going to get dressed." Jonathan huffs and jumps off of Edward's lap. He runs over to me. "Don't leave, Bella, okay? I'll be right back."

"I promise."

He hugs my legs, and then climbs the stairs.

"That kid has an attitude." Edward sighs, taking a sip of his orange juice.

"He gets that from his mother. You were never like that." Esme shakes her head.

"How much you forget with time, my love." Carlisle chuckles and kisses his wife. "Edward was the worst."

"I was not!" Edward protests.

The kitchen is suddenly filled with playful shouts and harmless jabs. I find myself smiling through it all. I've never had anything like this. Family get-togethers were always dinner with Renee or a football game with Charlie.

"So, what did you two do last night?" Esme sets a large platter of eggs in front of us.

"Went to a club." I answered her. "Edward is quite the dancer."

"A club, son? Oh, I would have loved to see that." Carlisle laughs heartily. "He can't dance."

"Why do you always pick on me, Dad?" Edward feigned hurt.

Edward tells his parents about how I saw Geroge when we were out last night.

I mention that George was at the bar, but I didn't say he was drinking or was drunk, even though I assume he was. I also leave out that I smelled weed. I still wasn't quite sure where that came from.

Edward didn't seem mad at all, but more annoyed... or disappointed. I said that I sent George straight home and that seems to count for something.

"Wait, so he snuck out and took a train into the city?" Carlisle did not seem pleased. "Unacceptable."

"I'll handle it." Edward got up from his seat to get a cup of coffee, "It's not _that_ big of a deal, but I have to act like it is."

"The traps of parenting." Esme nods, taking a dainty sip of her drink.

"This is the advantage of dating a younger woman. She knows all the tricks of teenagers." Carlisle laughs. "What I wouldn't give for your insight, Bella."

"Thanks for your support, Dad." Edward shakes his head and a slight grin plays at his lips.

I laugh a little myself.

"What's so funny?" Edward leans towards me, whispering close to my lips.

"Nothing. I just like your family." I shrug.

"They like you, too." He pecks my lips lightly.

I almost allow us to go further, but then gain my senses. "Edward, stop it. Your parents are here."

"We're not in high school, Bella." He laughs under his breath.

Of course, his parents know about us - I'm sure - but it's still a little inappropriate. They probably won't react well to this. They've only ever seen their son with Irina. But they have their backs turned at the moment.

Edward pecks me again and skims his nose down my neck.

"Gross," a husky voice says. George slinks into the kitchen in light blue pajama pants, pulling a crimson 'Harvard' shirt over his head.

"Sorry." I jerk away from Edward.

"Don't apologize. It's better than seeing nothing. I thought Dad was going to dry up." George takes a piece of toast from the counter and plops down on a stool.

Edward blushes a little and puts his hands in his lap. "My sex life is none of your business."

"I'm just sayin'," he replies. "I'm going to go get everyone up."

George quickly leaves and bounds up the stairs. Obviously, he still feels uncomfortable about last night.

Ten minutes pass, and the kitchen begins to fill with everybody else. Jonathan Francis is dressed in jeans, cowboy boots, a plaid shirt, and a Stetson hat. Edward informs me that his youngest is going through a dress up phase. I thought it was the cutest thing in the world.

"I want to buy him a horse," I say quietly to Edward. "So he can complete his look."

"God, no. It changes too much to get anything permanent. He'll be an astronaut next week."

Theodore comes into the kitchen, his nose in a thick book. He's wearing glasses, which I've never seen before.

He doesn't even look up and runs right into me. "Oh, sorry."

"It's okay." I smile. "What are you reading?"

"_Moby Dick_. I don't like it very much, but Dad says I have to finish it."

"The ending is the best part," I assure him.

"I'll take your word for it." He sits at table next to me.

Breakfast is interesting. There is a lot of noise and lot of commotion, but I found myself fitting in. It makes me happy. I take mental snapshots of everyone in my head. I tell myself not to take anything for granted.

I'm buttering my toast when a phone chirps under the table.

"You know we don't answer calls during meals." Esme glared at Edward.

"Sorry, Grandma. That's mine." George gets up from the table. "It will just be a second. It's one of my group members for a project at school."

"Well, hurry up." Esme allows it.

He rushes off into the hallway, but we can still here his conversation. "I can't work on the history paper today... No, we'll try tomorrow or you can just email what you have... I can't. My dad and his girlfriend are here... It will get done before Friday...Okay, bye."

I still as I listen. Of course, George knows about Edward and me, but we haven't told his other kids yet. I wonder what they think? We can all clearly hear what he said in the hallway.

JF doesn't seem to care and continues eating bacon. Theodore is busy with his book, but he peaks at me over the edge of it before averting his eyes quickly. Sebastian stays occupied with Edward. They're fighting about something. Esme and Carlisle look at each other, but take sips of their coffee.

When George rejoins our group, he acts like nothing happened.

There was so much to be said that wasn't being addressed. I didn't know if that was good or bad.

"Son, let's go have a talk upstairs." Edward places his napkin on the table.

"Is everything okay, Dad?"

"Yeah, I just want to discuss a few things."

"Should I be worried?" George asks.

"I just want to know what you were up to last night. No big deal."

George's face pales. "Oh. Um... yeah, sure."

He walks into the kitchen and a second later, climbs the stairs with George in tow.

I help clean up and get the duty of washing with Sebastian. He stays quiet most of the time until I bring up football. Edward told me Seb enjoys sports of all kinds.

"What's your favorite team?" I ask him casually.

"Pro? Obviously the Patriots. You can't live in Boston and _not _like them."

I nod in understanding. "Did you know my brother-in-law plays for the Philadelphia Eagles?"

"Really?" He looks at me, "Who?"

"Emmett McCarty. He's a wide receiver."

Seb's mouth hangs open a little. "He's _the _wide reciever. He's incredible. Is he as big as he is on TV?"

"Probably bigger."

"Can I meet him?"

"I'm sure you can at some point. He loves to talk football with anyone who listens."

Hook, line, and sinker.

Just like that the awkwardness was gone and I didn't feel like I had to stay away from Seb anymore after that.

Maybe this transition wouldn't be so bad after all.

* * *

**A/N: **It's all coming together. The family we always wanted!

A lot of people were mad at me: "Oh, Edward and Bella took pills! OMG. I can't read this story anymore."

I get it, they weren't smart. That was my point. I told you way back when, I am creating characters who do not have many redeeming qualities besides their love for each other. They lie and cheat, and in many cases, do not make the right choices.

That's just how it is.

I got tired of perfect Edward and Bella's.

As always, thanks to Jenny because...well, you should see my stuff before I put it on the site. It's a mess. She cleans it up.

And thanks to the readers. I think one more chapter and then an epilogue. Sound good?


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

* * *

"Are you sure you're okay with this, Bella? I can easily find a babysitter."

"Edward, I told you that it was fine with me." I try to kiss him but he moves his face away.

"Well, you have all my numbers? And I left a schedule for you so that you'll know what he likes to do. And I'll call probably every hour to check up on him."

"Edward..."

He pulls out his wallet. "And here's some money just in case."

"Stop it." I grab the front of his shirt. "Pull yourself together."

"You're right." He sighs. "I'm unnecessarily freaking out."

"Yes, you are. Jonathan Francis and I will be fine."

Edward looks around my foyer. "Where did he get off to?"

"I'm not sure, but you need to get going."

Jonathan Francis and I were spending the entire day together. He didn't have school and I volunteered to watch him before Edward even got the sentence out of his mouth. I was a little overly excited.

And this might be a bad thing for me to say, but I think it had something to do with the fact that Edward was finally getting a divorce.

It's been a quick process, and they used a mediator to keep things out of the court. I don't know much, but Edward said he would inform me of what was going on after he settled things.

It was rough for him even though he acted like it wasn't. I don't care how much I hated Irina, even I had to admit that the demise of their marriage must be tough on he both of them. There were several nights when Edward would call me, in somewhat of a panic attack. He had been together with her for his entire adult life, since he was seventeen, it only made sense to freak out.

He was off to handle that this morning before work.

"Theo and Seb get out of school at three." Edward places his hands on my hips and pulls me close. "They'll take the train here."

I nod. "I know. We've been over this ten times."

"Right."

"I'm not incompetent, you know."

"Of course you aren't. I just want to make sure that everything's going to be okay. I always get like this when I let my kids out of my sight." He chuckles, "I'm a little overprotective."

"I've noticed, but I don't mind." I kiss him shortly on the lips.

"Daddy! Daddy! Look what I found." JF comes into the foyer carrying Sam, who does not look pleased at all. The cat's face is scrunched up in anger and the noises coming from him tell me he's obviously not amused.

"Jonathan, you know better than to touch other people's pets without asking," Edward says.

"He was hiding from me." JF lifts Sam up higher into his arms. "What's his name, Bella?"

"Sam." I laugh quietly.

"Does he bite?"

"No, he doesn't, but he doesn't look very pleased at you right now. Maybe I should take him." I gently grab Sam and set him on the floor. He runs off as if I tried to burn his tail.

"You're going to be good for Bella, right?" Edward bends down and talks to his son.

"Yes, Admiral." He salutes.

"At ease, sailor."

"We're going to have a great time."

Edward leaves five minutes later. JF waves to him from the steps and then shuts the door when he comes back inside.

"Bella, come color with me." He takes my hand and leads me into the family room. We sit on the floor in front of the coffee table. "This is my superhero book. You can have Batman if you want."

"That's very nice of you." I take the page and pick up a Crayon.

"So, when did you get a cat?" JF asks very pointedly.

"Two months ago, I think. I just wanted a friend to hang out with."

"You don't have many friends?"

"No, not really." I laugh lightly.

"Daddy's your friend." He furiously scribbles in his coloring book.

"Yes, and so are you."

"But Daddy's your _best _friend."

_Uh oh!_

"I think my sister is my best friend," I deflect.

Jonathan Francis, always the sneaky boy, huffs in frustration. "Daniel across the street, his dad has a friend, too. She lives at their house."

"That's nice. Do you want something to drink? Let me go get you a juice." I pop up from the floor and briskly walk into the kitchen.

JF follows me. "Bella, will you come live with us?"

"What? No, I don't think so. I have my own house here." I reach into the fridge for a juice pouch.

"Yeah, but it's so far away. Don't you want to see me more? And what about Daddy? He gets sad when you aren't around." He climbs onto a stool at the counter.

"Well, I think that right now, your Daddy is going through some things and it would be best if I stay here."

"Is this about the divorce?" JF stares at me.

_How old is this kid?_

I try not to appear so shocked at his outright questions, but it's hard to hide my emotions. Children are _so_ perceptive. I knew JF picked up on a few things over the past few weeks, but I shouldn't be having this conversation with him.

"George told me all about it. Daddy and Mommy can't get along so she's moving away. But you are Daddy's new girlfriend," he adds.

Without thinking, I spear the tiny straw into the juice pouch and drain the thing myself. I frantically sip just to keep myself occupied.

"You should move in with us. I'll ask him tonight at dinner." JF, seemingly satisfied with his conclusions, sits down smugly.

This needs to be handled, and quickly.

While JF is occupied with his coloring, half an hour later, I have a text session with Edward. He informs that he will talk with the boys tonight.

_They have a right to know what's going on.-E_

_Should I be there?-B_

_Sure. We'll do it at your house.-E_

_How was the divorce stuff?-B_

_All done! I'm officially single. Well... I guess not single since I have you. But not married. haha-E_

_Funny. This is happening really fast. I always thought divorce takes a lot longer.-B_

_It would have if Irina gave a shit about the kids. Assets are easy to divide; children, not so much. But she just wants visitation a couple times a year. I'll explain everything to you tonight.-E_

We end our conversation with a silly round of "I love you's" and then I went off to find JF.

He was crouched under the sofa, his small butt sticking up in the air.

"Come on, kitty. Come play with me."

"Jonathan, what are you doing?" I ask.

"Trying to get Sam. He won't come out."

"If you promise to be gentle, I'll get him for you."

JF shimmies out from under the couch, his hair sticking up all over the place. "Really? Please, Bella. I promise I won't hurt him."

"Okay, okay." I go to the back of the sofa and coerce Sam into my arms. I lift him up. "You're going to be a good boy, right?"

Sam snuggles against me and I sit down in front of JF. Slowly, his hand pets Sam who purrs gently.

"You can't be too rough with him or he'll get mad. He's a little spoiled," I say.

"He's so soft. Where did you get him?"

"A shelter. I thought I would help out a cat in need so I went down and picked him up."

"When you come live with us, do you think Daddy will let Sam come, too?"

I cough a little. "Uh, we can ask him, I guess."

"Good." JF sits next to me and we continue to pet Sam together.

Ten minutes later, I feel comfortable enough and transfer the cat into JF's arms. He seems amazed and his smile is contagious. Sam also doesn't seem to mind anymore and looks as if he's fallen asleep.

By the time I look up, it's noon, and I suggest we get some lunch.

"How about we go to the park and have a picnic. The weather looks like it's cleared up," I suggest.

"That sounds like fun. Can we bring Sam? We can put him on a leash." JF smiles up at me as I'm making sandwiches.

I laugh, "I don't think he'd like that very much."

He thinks about this for a second. "You're right. The other cats might not be nice to him. He will be okay until we come back, right?"

"I guarantee it."

Laden down with a picnic basket filled with sandwiches, chips, pasta salad, and drinks, we lock up the house before walking down the street. JF holds my hand on the way to a park nearby. He's carrying a blanket we can sit on and my hope is that he'll tire himself out at the park for a nap later.

We find a nice location on a patch of grass and spread out.

"I think we should do this every day," JF says happily, taking a large bite out of his PB&J.

"But you have school. Don't you like your friends and your teacher?"

"Yeah, but I like you more." He grins at me. If I didn't know any better, I would think he's flirting.

Out of anyone, I would say that Jonathan Fracnis is more like Edward than the rest of his boys. George might look identical to his father, but their attitudes were totally different. JF is _exactly _like Edward, in every way. That's probably why we got along the best.

"Why aren't you dressed up today? I was looking forward to meeting Cowboy Jonathan again," I say.

"Oh, I don't dress up as a cowboy anymore. I want to be a miner now. I forgot my hat at home, though."

"Miner? That sounds adventurous."

"I want to find diamonds underground. Daddy says I can dig in the backyard. Do you think I'll find any?"

"Of course. I'm sure they're out there somewhere."

Jonathan Francis and I pack up lunch after we lounge into the grass for a little. We hold hands on the way home, and Edward calls as we walk into the house.

"_Hey, how are things going?" _

"Fine," I answer. "We just came back from a picnic and I'll put him down for a nap soon."

"_He's probably too excited to sleep."_

"Sam! Where are you?" JF shouts up the stairs. He runs off in search of his new friend.

"_He probably doesn't want to talk to his old man right now." _

"Probably not. He's very busy. By the way, he told me about his new mining job looking for diamonds." I set the picnic basket on the kitchen counter and start to unpack it.

"_I bought him a shovel and everything." _Edward laughs.

We talk for a couple more minutes before I end the call and go in search of Jonathan. I find him on the couch, an angry look on his face.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"I can't find Sam. I know he's hiding from me."

"How about you continue looking and I'll help."

"Okay." JF shoots off of the sofa and runs into the living room.

I walk slowly towards the bookcase in the corner and peek behind it. Sam is sitting, looking up at me, glaring. He hides behind here sometimes when he knows he's in trouble.

"It's not so bad. He just wants to be friends. You're such a big baby," I say. I lean down and pull him from behind the shelf. He hisses at me.

I search the house for Jonathan Francis and find him sleeping peacefully on my bed. His little face is smashed against my pillow and lips are open slightly. I pull the covers over his body and kiss the top of his head.

I clean up the kitchen and the small mess that we've made throughout at the day. I didn't even realize it was so late in the afternoon until there's a knock at my door. Theodore and Sebastian are standing on the steps, smiles on their faces.

"Hi. You guys made it." I take their coats from them and shut the door.

"It was really easy. Just a couple stops on the train," Theo says.

"Well, your brother is sleeping so let's try and be quiet," I warn them.

I set them up at the kitchen counter so that they start their homework. I make them a snack and smile to myself while I'm doing it. I would have paid a million dollars to have Renee make me something to eat after school when I was growing up.

"This is _really_ good, Bella," Seb says, taking a bite of the ham and cheese pinwheels I made earlier.

"Thank you .You'll have to tell me what you like so that I can make it the next time you come over."

"Do you think Dad will let us?" Theo asks.

"I'm sure he will. I hope so. I like you guys."

They smile at each other proudly.

After they finished most of their homework, I go wake up Jonathan. He is groggy for a minute, but brightens up when he sees Theo and Seb. I suggest that we start on dinner. Chicken and vegetables. Nothing fancy, but they seem excited.

"Bella, I want to stir it," JF says, pulling on the hem of my shirt. "You said I could."

"Okay, here you go." I set the bowl of cookie dough on the lower counter so that he could reach. "Don't eat it all."

"I promise I won't." His eyes have a gleam in them that tells me I need to watch him.

"I think the chicken is done." Theo bends down to look into the oven.

"It smells really good. Are you sure you've never cooked before?" I stuffed my hands in some oven mitts and pulled it out.

"No, Dad won't let me."

"Well, I think he'll be very proud to see this."

"Really? You think?" Theo smiled.

"Of course." I set the chicken on the counter to cool.

The boys help me set the table; I'm surprised that they know exactly where each item goes - even JF. Most young kids don't pay attention to stuff like that.

"I can open a bottle of wine for you and Dad," Theo offers.

"I think I better do that," I counter. "You boys go wash your hand before your Dad gets here."

They all scurry off, their feet making pattering noises on my hardwood floors.

I stop myself from smiling too big. I like this. It's domestic and safe. Company is nice, no matter how young they are.

A knock at the door signals Edward's arrival, and I quickly go to answer it. He pulls off his sunglasses and pushes into the house, grabbing my hips.

"I missed you." He kisses me hard.

"I missed you, too," I tell him, pulling him as close as I can.

"It's done. The divorce is final."

"I still can't believe it was that fast."

"Me either, but it's over." He rests his forehead against mine.

"Daddy!" Jonathan Francis runs into the foyer and attaches himself to Edward's leg.

"Why, hello, sailor." He lifts him up. "Where you good for Bella?"

"Yes. We baked cookies because I was so good."

"Well, I'm glad to hear it."

We all sit down for dinner. It's very pleasant. I've never had this in my life, but I want it. I want it every night. I don't think I will be able to have dinner the same way again. Edward and his boys here; it's just how it's supposed to be. It is easy and simple.

Edward sits at one end, and I at the other. The conversation is silly and unimportant, but I don't mind. Sebastian keeps telling me about how he's trying to make a volcano for a science project. I tell him that he can come over this weekend and we can work on it.

"So, boys, I need to tell you something." Edward wipes his mouth and puts his napkin on the table.

My heart beats a little quicker, knowing what's coming.

"As of today," Edward begins, "your mother and I are divorced. We talked about what that meant, remember?"

They all nod their heads.

"She has decided to let you guys stay with me and she will visit throughout the year," he continues. "Your mother and I still love you all very much, but we've just decided to end our marriage. I'm trying to make things as easy as possible so that nothing will change that much."

"Are you and Bella going to get married now?" Jonathan Francis asks. I almost fall out of my chair.

"Uh, no... Not yet, at least," he says softly. "But Bella will be around a lot more."

"Because she's your girlfriend?" Theo says in understanding.

"I guess so, yes," Edward answers.

The table is quiet for a second.

"Okay. Can we go play with the cat now?" JF jumps up from his seat.

"Yeah, we ate all our vegetables. Can we go play?" Seb adds.

Edward is speechless for a couple of seconds before he nods. "Take your plates into the kitchen and then you can go."

They quickly clear the table, leaving just the two of us at opposite ends.

"I'm so confused," he says, rubbing his face. "I've been stressing over this conversation for the past month. I've read articles and books and done research on the best way to do this and they don't even care."

"I'm sure they care, but... maybe it just doesn't mean as much to them right now. They're young," I think out loud.

"It just seems... too simple." He leans back, taking a sip of his wine.

I get up from my seat and walk down the table to be closer to him. "How did it go today?"

"Fine, I guess. I'm giving her _a lot_ of money. And we lost all the trust funds." He rakes his hands through his hair. "Carlisle is trying to sort things out to see if we can recoup any of it, but I don't know how that's going."

"I'm so sorry."

"Don't be." He takes my hand. "It's never been about money to me. And I still have a lot left. I just want to be happy. With you."

"That's very sweet of you to say, but I never wanted you to give everything up like that."

"After she brought up the affair to the lawyers, it was over for me. It could have gotten messy, but I'm glad she didn't drag it out. I think she wanted to be as free as me."

"And the boys don't seem to mind your new life." I smile.

"No." He laughs to himself. "George even called to congratulate me."

"So... I guess this is our new beginning." I lay my head on his shoulder.

He kisses me softly. "We're only getting started, Miss Swan."

* * *

**A/N: **Sweet, yes? Can you believe it all worked out?

It's over. Obviously, this is probably not how things would go down, but this is fiction. I can write what I want.

This is the last chapter. A stellar epilogue is to come.

Thanks to Jenny for all the beta work so that my stories actually become readable. And thanks to everyone who braved the shady subject matter to read and review. I didn't think anyone would read this, but you all proved me wrong. Thank you!


	25. Chapter 25

12 Years Later

* * *

The walls are covered in some of the most beautiful artwork I've ever seen. I didn't know she was capable of this. Black and white photographs from almost every corner of the earth where on display.

It was obvious that she's been busy.

"Edward, where is she?" I crane my neck to try and get a better lock through the throngs of people. We're in a museum and there is a lot of space, but it's packed.

"I'm not sure. We'll find her. This is a big night for her. I'm sure she's busy."

"Of course," I sigh to myself and remember to calm down. I have a tendency to get overly excited. Especially nowadays.

"Oh, I see her." Edward takes my hand, walking slowly through the crowds.

I have to waddle since my rounding belly is too huge to walk in a normal fashion.

Irina is talking to someone in a nicely pressed suit, but her face immediately lights up when she sees Edward and I walking towards her.

"You came!" She hugs me. Unlike years ago, her hugs are welcoming now. "I'm so happy to see you. It's been too long."

I agree and hold her tighter.

"I almost can't wrap my arms around you." She pulls back and appraises my pregnant body.

"Seven months," I put my hand on my stomach. The baby is active and I can feel the kicking.

"I almost didn't see you." Irina hugs Edward as well.

He kisses her cheeks. "This is an absolutely wonderful event."

"I'm so glad you two are here. This is literally my entire life's work." She looks around.

"It's very impressive," Edward states and then turns to me. "Sweetheart, I'm going to get a drink. Would you like something?"

"No, I'm okay." I pat his arm.

"Irina, anything for you?"

"No thanks." She smiles.

Edward kisses me before walking away quickly.

"So, let's sit. I want to talk." Irina takes my hand and pulls me to a more secluded area of the exhibit.

We sit on a marble bench and my feet are thankful.

"I can't believe you came at seven months pregnant. I would have complained the whole time." She touches my stomach.

"Edward wanted me to stay home, but I refused."

The plane ride to New York was stressful on him. He was freaking out the whole time, but my doctor cleared me to fly, so I didn't see any problem with the short trip.

"Of course he did. Always so protective when it comes to you." She chuckles happily. It's nice seeing her this way.

We talk a little about her exhibit. This has been years in the making and taken a lot of preparation. She's so proud of everything and I'm glad I can share in her joy. There's no hate between us. Not anymore.

"Tell me about the boys." Irina crosses her legs, letting her beautiful blue dress flow around her. "They rarely call me anymore."

"They're all so busy." I sigh. "Um, well, I don't know if you heard, but George signed with the Red Sox."

"What? No one told me!"

"He didn't want anyone to know until it was final, but they made the final offer a couple of days ago." He is a little old to just be starting his baseball career, but like his father, George spent some time in the Navy before making his final decisions.

"Oh, I bet he's so happy." Irina smiles, a little sadly. The boys don't have much contact with her anymore, but I can tell she misses them.

"He is. The first thing he's doing with his check is paying for the wedding." My heart beats a little faster just thinking about it. My oldest is getting married!

"I met her when they came to visit last year. She's so sweet. I approved."

"I do too. They really do love each other," I agree.

"He's twenty-seven now, hardly the boy I raised. It's strange." She takes a sip of her champagne.

"And Theo is graduating from Yale in the spring," I say. "He's so focused on law school; I don't think he has time to breathe."

"He's always been that way, though. I bet he's stressing about making the right choice."

"Yeah, but he knows what he's doing. He's deciding between Harvard and Princeton for law school. So, we'll see."

"And Sebastian is just going into Yale in the fall, so we're trying to get him ready for that." I say. I'm stressed about that. Seb in college gives me nightmares.

"Oh, I can't wait to hear about whatever he gets into." She giggles, a little tipsy now.

"Of course, JF just started driving so he's giving me multiple heart attacks a day whenever he gets into the car. I just sit on the couch and wait for him to come home," I admit. "It's pathetic, I know."

"Absolutely not. I nearly jumped out of a window because I was so anxious when George started. It's scary. They're growing up so fast."

"I can't believe it." I tell myself I'm not going to cry. My hormones are in check tonight, for which I'm thankful.

"And what about the others? Let's see pictures." Irina scoots closer to me on the bench.

I giddily pull out my phone and scroll until I find some photos, "Dominic is eight. He's so much like George, it's scary. He wants to play in the major leagues, too."

"I'm sure you and Edward already have him in training." She turns the phone so she can see better. "He looks just like you."

"With Edward's crazy hair."

I scroll some more. "And this is Benjamin. He's five."

"Absolutely adorable." Irina nearly snatches the phone away. "I can't believe how cute he is."

"Missing teeth and all."

Once again, my genes seem to have overpowered Edward's. Benjamin looked remarkably similar to me, except for the green eyes. He was loud and brassy and sometimes didn't say the right things, but I loved him to death. How could I not?

"And the baby? Where is he?" she asks eagerly.

"Alexander is two. Hardly a baby any longer." I show her.

"Oh, it's been that long? I keep forgetting. It seems like you're pregnant every year."

"Almost," I laugh to myself.

I've been pregnant, including now, four times in the past twelve years. I wouldn't change a thing. I like it that my kids are close in age.

All-in-all, I had seven children, soon to be eight. After Edward and I married, I adopted his four oldest boys. I love them as if they are mine, although Jonathan Francis is the only one who calls me "mom".

There will be a twenty-seven year age gap from George, who's the oldest, to this baby. Our family might not be the most normal, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

"Do you know if you're having another boy?" Irina asks me.

"We want to be surprised. I hope it's a girl. I just want one girl."

"Is this your last?"

"I'm not sure. I'm only thirty-five. I have a few more years for another, if we want one, but we might not."

"That's understandable." She sighs. "Are you happy, Bella?"

I nod."Very. You?"

"Yes, I think I am. It took me a long time to realize it, but I am. It's been a tough road for us, hasn't it?"

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

Irina and I are cordial, thankfully. We have to be for the children, but we weren't always. She had a lot of anger towards me, understandably. It took a couple of years for us to even communicate, and only when there was a desperate need. Even now, we weren't that chummy, but it was amicable.

She realized that she and Edward together wasn't healthy for either one of them. They were sucking the life out of each other. When she finally let go of him, things got a lot better. We see each other maybe twice a year for big occasions; she stays away most of the time, and lets Edward and me live without hassle.

"I was going to apologize to you again, but we've done that so many times, it feels unnecessary," I say quietly.

"I would agree with that. What's done is done. I just had so much anger, but once I freed myself from it, my life got so much better. I love Edward, I always will, but I'm not in love with him the way you are. I don't think I ever was."

She holds my hands in hers for a couple of seconds before getting up to walk around.

Edward soon rounds the corner, complaining that he nearly called the police when he couldn't find me. I take his hand and we walk around the exhibit. It really is great work.

While we stand and admire one of Irina's photographs of a Himalayan village, I feel a trickle of water run down my leg. Next thing I know, I'm standing in a puddle of it.

"Edward," I shake his arm, "I think my water just broke."

"What?"

"My fucking water just broke," I whisper to him.

"It's too early. You have at least another month." He looks frantic, but collects himself quickly.

All of my kids have come early. I'm not worried, but this is certainly unexpected.

"Okay, it's fine," Edward says. He's a little flustered. "We need to get you to a hospital."

We duck out of the exhibit, and he hails a cab. Edward demands that we be taken to the nearest "reputable hospital" and his tone is a little angry. I'm not in any pain… yet, but I know it's coming. I tell him to calm down.

Cedars-Siani is only a few blocks away, and there isn't much traffic tonight so we make in record time.

I'm placed in a wheelchair before I can blink my eyes and Edward is on the phone calling home. He is yelling at our doctor and I tell him to hang up because he's being extremely nasty. I don't think I've ever heard his language get that bad.

I'm taken to the maternity ward and set up in a room, while Edward fills out paperwork.

My first contraction hits when he's in the hallway and I grip the bedside railings for support. It passes without much drama, but that's when I realize that this is really happening.

"Edward!" I call him back into the room and ask for his phone.

"This is outrageous. I knew I should have never let you come to New York." His hands run through his hair.

"Everything's fine." I take his hand and calm him down.

I call George and let him know what's going on. He, just like his father, is freaking out over the phone. He starts mumbling to himself and then tries to tell me that I should have just stayed in bed for the next couple of weeks so I didn't have any extra stress.

I just roll my eyes and let him vent.

We end the call with him telling me that he will get everyone on a plane to New York as soon as he can. By everyone, George means, everyone: Theo, Seb, JF, Dominic, Benjamin, and Alexander, plus himself and his fiancé. Edward says he'll pay for the tickets and since we won't be going anywhere for a least a week, maybe more, hotel rooms need to be purchased as well.

It's a lot to take in and we aren't really prepared, but we make the best out of a rather interesting situation.

Five hours later, my daughter is born.

She's tiny, but healthy and loud. She wails, and it brings tears to my eyes. A girl. My girl.

We name her Katherine, Kate for short. It's Esme's middle name, and I love it.

I can't tell who she looks like and there isn't much hair on her head, but it's dark. Her vitals are taken, she's swaddled in pink blanket, and the doctor hands her to me.

"Hi, baby." I run my finger along her cheek. She's sleeping now and so precious.

Edward plops into a nearby chair, as if he's just given birth, and wipes his forehead with a towel. He's in scrubs that the doctors made him wear if he wanted to be in the room.

"A girl finally!" He throws his head back.

"I can't believe it." I'm crying and trying not to spill tears on my daughter.

"Are we done?"

"Done?"

"With kids," He gets up and sits on the edge of the bed, wrapping an arm around me, "I'm forty-seven, Bella. No more kids."

"Okay," I nod and agree, "I already have everything I could ever want. No need for more."

* * *

**A/N: **Well, that's that. I know it was a long time coming but it wasn't ready yet. Thanks for the patience.

Thank you so much to Jenny for all the hard work she puts in for this and every other story I try to tackle. Love her lots. And thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed. I write for you guys. You make it enjoyable.


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